OH confusion!!

Oh thank you.ALL of you....?......Hope hospital(Salford Royal) I think would be our best bet for neurology....getting H to see doc is one thing.....attending hospital apps oh hope so ..will try my best!!

Hi Sue1169, I'm sorry that I can't add anything more constructive and helpful than the advice already given by other posters, but just to say I am sorry you are having such a hard time and hope that you can find positive help. Sending hugs.

Hi Sue, I have only just seen this thread. My OH was diagnosed with a form of Alzheimer's at the end of last year. He had had a couple of mini strokes over the last 5 years and finally got frightened when he couldn't tell the time. Remember the GP is not likely to be an expert. What you now must insist on is referral to a hospital with a good brain/neurology department. Where do you live? Ideally you want a big teaching hospital that will have the facilities to do all the tests and diagnosis.

Sue At least you are a huge step forward now. Please remember we are here for you.&

and thank you cornergran..hadnt see your post!

Thak you retrolady2!!

Just had a thought ... my mum-in-law had similar episodes many years ago. Turned out she had a vitamin B12 deficiency and all was sorted by monthly injections. Sorry, I'd forgotten that when I posted about dementia. For what it's worth, she lived to 95 with all her faculties intact, as long as she had those injections.

Also sorry that I didn't see you already have an appointment at the GPs. Good luck. Hope it goes well and you get help and support, whatever form that takes. x

I do understand and sympathise. We had a similar time with my mum. What about arranging an appointment at the doctor for you, or maybe a phone consultation. Take, or have with you, a list of his symptoms and ask the doctor what he/she can do to help. They will have come across this situation many times, I'm sure. It does sound like vascular dementia, maybe early stages. Don't despair, there's a lot of support out there. Check out the Alzheimer's Society website - it got me through and I now volunteer with them.

I'd be careful with the filming thing though ... you know best, but how will he react to that?

Meanwhile, please do your best to look after yourself as far as you can, and do phone the doctor as a first step. As someone said, they may have a dementia nurse you can chat to, at least, and they will have come across this situation before.

Sending hugs.

Thank you nanaK54...

sue1169 so sorry to read that you are feeling so upset, but relieved to hear that your husband is, at last, making a positive move.......

Hope the appointment will get you both some help and support, sue, is it soon? If not I think you need to tell the surgery it's an urgent matter. Let us know how you both get on.

Well an update...yesterday..H had the worst and longest episode of confusion/blankness...also previous night (Sat) was quite aggresive..anyway he has now agreed to see the doctor..it frightened him and has left me ..still..a little teary!!....

Have you considered that it could be Global Amnesia where someone goes into a kind of automatic pilot, doing things perfectly normally (even driving) while not knowing where they are or having any memory of it afterwards.

Although this does sound like the start of AZ or dementia it could also be a form of epilepsy. We have a friend who started to behave like this and would 'lose' a whole day at times - even important occasions like another friend's daughter's wedding he had completely forgotten about. He didn't have the classic epileptic fit but would suddenly go a bit vacant and forget where he was. Both my parents had dementia so that was our first thought too so we were relieved when he was diagnosed. Definitely your husband needs to see the doctor so good that you've made the appointment.

That's good, sue1169. I hope you can make a little bit of progress to finding out what's wrong.

It's possibile that there is a medical cause that can be dealt with.

Best wishes

Have made appointment..with the only decent doctor at our practise...BUT because he is so popular have to wait until Feb 10th!!!! So meanwhile.as a lot of you suggested I shall keep a diary....

Anyone can make an appointment to speak to a GP about another person, who is the GP's patient. The GP is limited in what reply they can make, of course.
I know that home visits are very rare nowadays but if you can make it clear how he is behaving and how it is affecting you, something may be arranged.

When you say the house was in a state because OH was in alone, do you mean the sort of state that would show he is not thinking clearly? If so, take pictures of it, as evidence, next time that happens.

So sorry I can't be more helpful.

Just had another thought a friend of ours who has a diagnosis of epilepsy has similar episodes. He dosen't fit as you would expect just has periods where he can't remember and or isn't aware of his surroundings. These can last minutes or hours when he's "away with the faries" ( his expression)

I was a member of the Talking Point forum mentioned above for a couple of years after mum was diagnosed. It's a wealth of support and information.
The consensus on there is to ask the GP to call him in for a health MOT. In the mean time keep a diary of events and yes if possible sound record or film him.
It will depend what type of dementia he has (if any) whether drugs can help. UTI's can cause similar confusion.

Yes the episode last week took a longer time to get over...his face looked strange and sort of frightened for hours!!....

I'm sorry I haven't read through the entire thread sue. Has anyone suggested a home visit from the GP? If your husband refuses to attend the surgery. Could you speak to the Doctor and tell him your concerns. Your husband does sound as if he's having TIA's or mini strokes. Each time he has one of these episodes, does it take a little longer for him to return to normal? This is how my Dad started with vascular dementia, and he denied, for a long time, that there was anything wrong! It wasn't until he went to have his INR levels checked that other tests were done at my sister's request, that he finally admitted that he'd started forgetting, and doing odd things.

Sue, I feel for you. This does sound like dementia but you do need a diagnosis as some treatment may be available but if it is dementia then there isn't a lot available and I am afraid the outlook can be difficult. You have had some excellent advice from others especially the Alzheimer's forum. Not all GPs have the same attitude about waiting until it is too late so try again to get an appointment . As I have been through this with my Mother can I add two things. Firstly look up Compassionate Communication. Your husband isn't doing this to be awkward he can't help it so never argue with him about facts just agree and divert the conversation. He will be happier and so will you. When he asks the same question over and over again don't snap at him and get the family to do the same. Plan ahead for him getting lost make sure he always has his name address and your contact details on him if necessary sewn into his clothes. Make sure the house is locked at night so he can't get out. Your physical safety is also a priority if he becomes aggressive you must take action and contact the police. This will trigger a cascade of actions which will include medical and social services intervention. Now finances, while you still can and before you get a diagnosis see if there is anyway you can get Power of Attorney for both medical and money (see the Court of Protection website). If he is the one that pays bills make sure they come out of a joint account , set up direct debits or you could be in a situation where the bank / pension provider won't let you act for him but he isn't capable of doing it himself. Catch 22. Start planning ahead two or three years where he might need an assessment for a care package or to be admitted to a home find out the finance rules and what is available in your locality. Age UK give good advice.

Oh Sue. My heart goes out to you. I can't give you any advice other than what's already been said but I couldn't just "read and run". This all sounds so familiar- my mum never admitted that there was anything wrong, even at the end. My thoughts are with you - no one should have to go through this. Take care xx

Sue1169. I am in exactly the same situation as you. My husband of 43 years has never been the easiest of people but 18 months ago we were involved in a bad RTA which resulted in him suffering a severe head injury. He is now really difficult to live with. He sleeps most of the time. Will only wash about once a week (after me nagging), gets very nasty and unpleasant and his memory is terrible. Like other Gransnetters have suggested i am keeping a diary which I am going to present to our GP. When husband sees our doctor he says he's fine and I'm making it all up! Hence the clinical neuropsychologist he was seeing discharged him as husband dared me to say anything negative in case they stopped him from driving. Keep a diary, video him if you can. I wish you all the best x

Had this problem with Mum. We had to resort to tricking her into seeing the doctor while she was at the surgery to see the nurse for another problem. We phoned the doctor first to voice our concerns and he was great. Once that first step was made, the diagnosis, care plan and medication followed quickly.