Decadence

Two pairs of slippers to call my own...............

Looking at the clock, and turning over and have a lie in,(thats when DH is away, otherwise he doesnt agree with a lie in,as he never can get back to sleep)
G+T while watching a good programme on TV. Getting on the plane to the UK!

I'm with those of you have have questioned why the pleasures we've itemised - yes, I enjoy a lot of these activities too - should be regarded as 'decadent', just as I wonder why chocolate cake or a whipped cream dessert are so often described as 'naughty but nice'. None of the activities you list is harming anyone else. Playing golf in the afternoon isn't normally considered decadent, and neither is going down to the pub for a couple pints and maybe a game of darts or dominoes. If there are any grandpas posting here, is here anything that they would not do for fear of appearing decadent, rather than because they're too busy, say. Why do so many more men than women feel compelled to practise self-denial, and experience guilt when they don't live up to this ideal? I have my own version this creeping sense of guilt - an inner taskmistress who is still telling me to 'finish your homework before I even think of going out to play' even after over 50 years - but I've made it a sort of retirement project of retraining myself not to feel a sense of guilt at indulging my tastes, whether for food or for movies, and enjoying the experience itself for what it is. I might pass on some potential pleasures because they'd be an unwise choice, or simply not worth the effort, but they're not 'decadent', and that's not the reason why I don't do them. The only reason I decide to forgo chocolate éclairs is because I have Type 2 diabetes for which I am following a low carb/high fat diet. That's my choice, and it's for my health, not because I'd feel a sense of guilt if I ate it. And I don't sit under a tree in the summer sunshine with a book, because our garden in the Scottish Borders is on an exposed hill, and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of occasions when could sit outside with the paper or a book without being blinded by the light of the mid-afternoon sun (our trees aren't big enough to sit under), or having the paper whipped out of our hands by an energetic breeze. If it were fun and relaxing I'd be out there like a shot! Doing what ou enjoy, and enjoying what you do, with no regrets, is a great gift, and one worth appreciating!

Breakfast in bed .

Good for you shysal
I miss my late husband very much but when I look back and recall my wedded days were to the point of being regimental now I can say 'what the hell, today I am going to slob around in my pj's make loads of coffee open the biscuit tin and watch that film I recorded the night before.
Bliss. Then the phone rings and its friend inviting herself round for me to hear the usual'I must tell you this'saga.
Always tomorrow.

Staying in all day on my own and doing nothing but read or watch TV and refusing to feel guilty because I'm not getting any exercise or eating healthily!

I am another with the guilt thing. However, when a day like today comes along and I see the sunshine for the first time in ages, I like to charge my batteries. I parked a reclining chair inside the French windows and dozed, with a cat on my lap. It was just what I needed as I am monitoring my blood pressure. It went from high to low within half an hour! I noticed the sun on filthy windows and dusty furniture but have done absolutely nothing about it!

Hiding in my home office to work ,,,,,but, as now, playing on the internet ...but most of all eating chocolate which is highly decadent as I am Diabetic ,,,,but then I will only have myself to blame if I suffer !......

Witzend, siestas are an habit we can't get out of now too, hubby and I. We lived abroad for several years and it's one of the things we both miss, lying on our bed with the bedroom windows open listening to the sounds of crickets and a cool breeze wafting in. A lot think it's lazy but when you consider they get up extremely early to get jobs done while it's cool, especially tradesmen.

Don't feel guilty about using the taxi, Marpau, because those on benefits nowadays seem to use taxis as we used buses. I feel quite disgusted that some people can no longer walk to the shops and get a taxi both ways. I can understand pethaps needing one if you are laden down with shopping but perhaps it's just me having a moan. I will shut up now.

I must admit I feel guilty if I do anything "decadent". Perhaps a Protestant ethic thing?

I feel guilty about everything I do though!

I'm always on my own back about something or another. I also feel responsible for everybody/everything so in a constant state of anxiety/worry. Maybe connected to a feeling that decadence-or what passes for decadence-is naughty, lazy and undesirable?

Definitely very un-British.

I'm feeling decadent because i went to M&S this morning and bought lovely shoes, a bra and trousers. I then went to another shop and bought more shoes and a book! Don't know what's got into me. It must be the sunny weather.

Gosh, I wouldn't call a glass of wine in the evening decadent!

One thing some (a lot of?) people disapprove of is having a sleep in the afternoon. They think it's terribly lazy and un-British. I've had people say in a very headmistressy and tut-tut sort of way, 'Oh, I could NEVER sleep in the afternoon!' as if it was the 8th deadly sin.
We got into the habit while living in a very hot climate, where it made perfect sense, and don't it every day by any means, but still thoroughly enjoy it when we do.

Mind you I've noticed lately in a couple of novels set a few decades ago, that some characters did go for a 'rest' after lunch. Actual sleep never mentioned - maybe that would make it sound too lazy - too much like dashed Johnny Foreigner and his siestas.

My guilty pleasure is sitting down in the afternoon and putting on a DVD - now why do I feel guilty about that, housework is done (or at least as much as I do day to day!), evening meal planned and any preparations done. I have even been known to watch a DVD in my bedroom with the curtains closed in case anyone in the street can see my TV in the sitting room is on

Reading my book in bed and we have a television in the bedroom I can sprawl out and watch what I want when my husband is watching football in the other room. Eating lunch or dinner out, glass of wine in the evening, shopping for clothes on my own. The list is endless

woops sent too quick that should be a dozen shopping bags I still feel guilty about it years later!!

Getting in a taxi. I don't drive and after years of raising children doing weekly food shopping and commuting to work 35 miles away all by bus I was once waiting on the second bus to take me home when I saw a taxi and got in along with a dozen s

Yes why is it that women feel guilty sitting down and relaxing. It does not seem to affect men in the same way. I think it stems from childhood too when our mothers were always busy with few household gadgets to free up their time.

Reading a book in the daytime instead of my usual hour in bed at night.

I received a lovely hamper at Christmas time from my Son and DIL. It contained champagne truffles. Trouble is - I don't like chocolate.

Son and DIL visited on Sunday for dinner so I opened the chocs but they only had one each. DS said they were very rich. When they'd gone I thought I'd try one.

I'm now waiting for OH to go out so that I can get the empty box from behind the sofa to hide in bin! .

Don't feel decadent about afternoon cinema as it's usually full of people of a certain vintage and referred to by us (also of a similar vintage) as the old gits session ??

Once, a long time ago I went out for lunch with a small group and I had a glass of wine. One person said to me, " how decadent ". I've never forgotten it, it felt like a rebuke.
I still do it though. Cheers.

You are so right sarahellenwhitney about guilt. I have to ask myself why I don't feel comfortable reading or catching up with a tv programme through the day. The house is clean, there is a meal prepared and it's cold and wet outside. I think it does stem from mother and mother in law who never had time to sit down - or so they said. The chilled glass of wine would be a decadent extra in an afternoon but I should save that for holidays!

How can anyone define enjoying a few pleasures in our lives as decadence.
This screams out as feelings of guilt stemming back to our youth when our mum or dad or granny laid down rules as to what you should or should not be doing.
Go ahead sunbathe naked in your garden drink a bottle of wine all to yourself.
Unless what you are doing is harming some one else then tough, life is far too short to deny ourselves things that give us pleasure.

Forward not forwrd.