What weird phrases do you use?

My mother used to describe someone as having a kind face like a cow. Not sure if it was meant as a compliment or not!

'When Nelson gets his eye back' for goodness knows when.

When it looked like rain my mother used to say "it's black over Bill's mother's", she always said "mother" and not "muther". Who Bill is, who knows!

my nan when she was annoyed would say , 'dont mind my cat jumping about sir I think it's after a rat' when asked what was for tea she'd say ' duck under the table' if she liked something it was' the bees knees' and if you refused to go somewhere or do something you were' cutting your nose of to spite your face'

When I had had a row with my mother and both of us had sunk into a sullen silence, my brother would look from one to the other and say "Meanwhile, back at the ranch....".

My mum used to say 'Gordon Bennett ' don't know where t comes from but I use the saying too.

Neither use nor ornament.

I often find myself using the expression "about as much use as a one-legged man at an a r s e kicking contest", although I've a feeling it's a Pythonism rather than traditional. Can anyone enlighten me?

When anyone tried to cut corners on a job, my Nana would say "No use spoiling the ship for a hap'orth of tar." Grandad was in the Navy, so I guess that's where it originated.

Years ago we overhead a girl refer to "aromatic duck" as "automatic duck". We've call it that every since.

When grandad had forty winks, he'd say I wasn't asleep, just checking out the inside of my eyelids.
My nan couldn't always remember names so it would be 'Fannyanne' or' Charlie Farnsbarns'. I still use those today.

My father had a work shed and I would stand and watch and ask what he was doing/making, his answer was always the same " a gugar for a wigwam " When we asked where we were going on holiday the reply was " Pensher willick sands " Penshaw is actually an inland hill and they definitely did not sell whelks there. We never went on holiday, probably why it sticks in my mind.

My dad when asked where he was going always said "to see a man about a dog".

I recognise a lot of these sayings. My mum's family came from the North of England. Is that where most of you are? I still use the 'blind man on a galloping horse' one.

Requests for what is for dinner were usually answered by 'tantadullum'. No idea what that was or how to spell it but it sounded intriguing!

Gagagran - "Steady Barker" was the catchphrase of the comedian and actor Eric Barker - 1912 to 1990 - who also appeared in many of the Carry On films. Much of his comedy was in the days of radio rather than television when he starred with his wife Pearl Hackney.

My favourite of many my dad used is "if I'm not back for 11 wind my watch up" heaven only knows what it means but I like it as a daft saying.

'were' not 'was'

My MIL used to say 'Stop mithering about' and 'It's just according'!

Uncle used to say 'She had a face like a slapped arse'! Two more of his was 'Get thi arse in gear!' and 'She'd turn milk sour'!

These have made me chuckle. I remember when asking whats for dinner '3 jumps at the cupboard door and a bite at the latch' and 'He couldn't stop a pig in a gantry' Also 'shes no better than she ought to be' there and back to see how far it is' and on asking about where someone was going on holiday being told 'Wor Gate at bottom of wor garden!'

Says OXO on the back of buses but they don't sell it

My father had some choice and hilarious sayings but these days they would all be labelled by words with the suffix 'ist'. They were also often uttered in accents which would attract a sideways look by an Islingtonist. He used to chant:-

'Out in the jungle
Living in a tent
Better than a prefab
No rent!'

kathyd
Snap!

'Fur coat and no knickers': All top dressing and no substance.
'Standing there like one of Lewis's':Doing nothing, but looking busy, like one of Lewis's department store (Liverpool) staff.
‘Money in fair words': Refusing to reveal the cost of something.
'A blind man on a galloping horse won't notice': When something wasn't perfect, but 'would do'.
'Bullshit and feathers': DM's favourite curse.
If I asked what was for dinner, it was always 'Pig's bum and jam on toast'!
Around here it was 'Couldn't stop a pig in a ginnel'.
But best of all, and I still use it today, if my DGM didn't believe what anyone was telling her, she'd say "I've heard ducks fart in deep water before"!
I'm beginning to think my family weren't what one would call 'refined'

If some task such as sewing isn't finished perfectly, "It won't be seen by a blind man on a galloping horse." I used it the other day and my friend had never heard it before.

I had a rather stern old-school maiden lady colleague when I joined the Inland Revenue in 1961 and she used to say "Steady the Buffs" if things got a bit hectic.

I never knew what it meant but always supposed it had something to do with an army regiment. She alternated that with "Steady Barker" but I have no idea who he was!