Malapropisms

Needing walking shoes, my mother was very pleased with her Husky Puffs!
I've been asked several times how to get to St Pancreas Station.

Womble. - fawning, I hope!! Maybe not ...

An enthusiastic young teacher insisted (after being gently corrected by a potter) upon telling her class about 'raccoon' pottery.
In a science lesson she also explained that water can be in solid, liquid or gas form and that this was called 'matters of state'.

I'm still trying to work out verdigris on chips (vinegar?) and guess that the Chiseller car was a Chrysler.

A great thread with lots or giggles!

My gran didn't answer the door to "those pesky juvenile witnesses". I presume she meant Jehovah's Witnesses

My Mum, during the war, always had evacuated milk. Then she corrected it to evorapated.

My dd1(aged11) asked dgm if she had been evaporated during the war.

What a great thread! I'm sitting reading all these with aching sides and tears streaming down my face. Hilarious!

A neighbour of my grandmother knew someone who worked for 'the Admirality' during the war; whilst someone else she knew had an alablaster fireplace.

Coming up to date, I see there a number of ways of referring to the utility room (artillery??). We call ours the futility room....

my mil who is no longer with us used a lot of malopropisms: some of which were pina colera (for pina colada). Johnny Matches (for Johnny Mathis) and many many more. My children would have to keep straight faces as if they laughed or anyone else for that matter she would get very annoyed!!

A very dear friend asked me to look at one of her goldfish which she thought might be sick because it was looking emancipated.

My aunt was very proud that her daughters new house had an 'en croute' bathroom!

I had a goldfish called Lysistrata. One night as one of my fellow students was leaving, she tapped the glass and said ' goodnight clitoris!'?

My SIL was once talking about ejaculation seats in an aeroplane! Last week she broke her polenta - patella! Embarrassed to admit as a very young girl I thought it was public hair .

One of my faves is the dildo around the room,instead of dado rail ?

When I was young, we had a neighbour who could not understand how us teenagers could walk in those silhouette heels.

My daughter, aged three, "You are the best mummy in the whole wild world"

Small grandson explained to me that he mustn't jump on daddy's besticles!

Young son of a friend referred to the loft conversion as the 'loft confusion' - he was probably right!

I was chatting to a proud mum earlier today who was telling me all about her children's achievements "and our youngest and her husband are going to build an E.coli house". Hope she didn't see me smirk.

When my former colleague's husband was taken ill, she was very relieved when the 'perimadics' arrived to take him to hospital!

Why on earth would you use a word that most people need to google.

Which word did you have to Google, SAAK ? It couldn't have been the ones mentioned here as they were the mistakes, the Malapropisms.

If it was Malapropism, then everyone who has posted examples (about 90 posts) must have known the word, so most people DON'T have to Google it. Anyone who didn't to start with but read the thread anyway will know what it means by now.

Perhaps saak has not read The Rivals by Richard Brinsley Sheridan?

I wonder how many people had read it, how many hadn't read it but had heard of Mrs Malaprop who kept getting the wromg word, how many hadn't heard of her but knew the meaning of Malapropism, and how many didn't know the meaning but recognised the way people get a "near miss".

wromg??? That is wrong!

Or a Spoonerism which was more my MIL's field of expertise