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Are you allowed to divorce your son? :-)

(84 Posts)
yggdrasil Fri 24-Mar-17 08:44:16

On the grounds that he is turning into his father who I divorced 15 years ago. I got a phone call last night, to say he wasn't getting me anything for Mother's Day because it was a rip-off. I said, what not even a card? He sort of ummed, and said the phone call was to say happy mothers day. The whole call lasted about 2 mins. And that was Thursday, not even Sunday!

gillybob Fri 24-Mar-17 08:47:03

How old is your son yggdrasil ?

Sounds a very childish thing to do/say.

jacksmum Fri 24-Mar-17 09:06:05

Sorry to hear your son is so uncaring, dont really know what else to say,other than hope you have a nice day on sunday , and hope your son will realize what a horrible thing he has done by phoning you with this conversation.xx

Izabella Fri 24-Mar-17 09:10:49

It's quite permissable to love someone and not like them. Don't feel bad about your feelings. His loss. You won't be there for him forever.

Grannyknot Fri 24-Mar-17 09:17:44

If that was my son, I would laugh it off... it's not that serious! Not worth all the hoo-ha.

I always feel a bit sorry for the men I see in the supermarket buying flowers or pink-hearted cards dripping with glitter (usually just before closing time on the day before mother's day/valentine's day the event) having succumbed to the pressures of commerce, when clearly it is not the sort of thing they would usually do.

For my birthday some years ago my son wrote on a piece of coloured cardboard some years ago when he was in the depths of a mental breakdown, his handwriting is all wonky on it. He wrote "I love you Mom". That's the one I've kept.

Grannyknot Fri 24-Mar-17 09:18:43

Oops ignore second "some years ago" in the final para.

Maggiemaybe Fri 24-Mar-17 09:32:02

On the basis of the :-) in the title, I think the OP means this to be a light hearted thread.

My DS has always been a grump about media sponsored love fests as well, but has always come up with a gift, usually still in the brown paper bag, and a card, because I've made it clear that the consequences of not doing so wouldn't be pretty grin

He was taken aback one year, as was I, when the sentimental card with the 29p sticker still on it and the Jamie Oliver collection "Best Mum" mug in a battered and torn box brought a tear to my eye. He'd bought the mug on his way over, from the clearance bin at Sainsburys.

He is improving with age and the influence of his lovely wife smile

Maggiemaybe Fri 24-Mar-17 09:37:56

I have a friend whose son gave her a bet on the Grand National for Mother's Day. Mon Mome, because he thought it meant My Mum. It came in at 100 to 1! wine

polyester57 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:50:03

I´m always surprised to hear how much store people set by getting a mother´s day card/gift. As a family, we don´t do mother´s days, father´s days or valentine days. And yes, I too think they are rip offs invented with the precise purpose of getting people to spend money on trinkets at commercially-low times of the year. I assume/know that my children love me every day of the year and there are many different ways of showing it. I assume yggdrasil, that your son called to ask how you were and to wish you a happy mother´s day in person, even if this took only a few minutes, I find it lovely. As for not getting a printed card through the post, I wouldn´t give it a second thought. As for wanting to "divorce" your son because he is too much like your ex-husband? Once upon a time you picked the man to father your children and you were aware of what the laws of genetics were. No, in my world, you cannot divorce your children.

Fitzy54 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:58:04

Conversation I had with my mother as I pushed her wheelchair around the supermarket yesterday:
Her: "isn't it Mother's Day soon?"
Me: "it's this Sunday."
Her: "Right. Well don't buy me flowers again. They don't last. I'll have a nice houseplant."
Short and to the point I thought! :-)

Jane10 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:59:42

My best mothers day was when my son made a huge effort to come round and make me a special meal. He'd had to get up very very early to get the shopping (which he could ill afford) and get to my place on time. He then made a lovely treat meal with all my favourite things. We had a great chat and then he cleared it all up.
Commercialised stuff doesn't hold a candle to genuine thoughtfulness.

tiggypiro Fri 24-Mar-17 10:08:21

I totally agree with you polyester57. My DS and DD both live abroad and never realise that it is Mother's Day here. It does not bother me one jot. I am in contact with DD frequently and DS as and when necessary but after all he is a male !!

M0nica Fri 24-Mar-17 10:40:27

I do not think I have ever had a present on Mother's Day. DD always remembers a very carefully chosen card. DS sometimes remembers, sometimes doesn't. He is my DS and I know he loves me so I am unbothered.

yggdrasil Fri 24-Mar-17 11:08:44

gillybob: he is 42, married , no kids, lives 3 counties away
grannyknot: yes I did put a smiley, so I wasn't that serious, but it annoyed me enough to make this thread.
Now I shall go open the chocolates I got from my daughter & the grandkids :-)

TriciaF Fri 24-Mar-17 11:08:56

Same here - daughter remembers, sons - sometimes.

JackyB Fri 24-Mar-17 11:22:26

My boys rarely remember.

Mother's Day in America is the same as in Germany (some time in May) My DS No 1 (lives in the US) sent me some flowers once, but didn't write on it who they were from. I sent an SMS to all three thanking them - to shame the other two, whoever they were, but with a ;-)

I sent my mother some flowers (cut ones!) for the middle of this week, so as not to overburden the delivery services with Mother's Day deliveries. She thanked me as soon as we started speaking on the phone, which is quite good for her, forgetful as she is. She thanked me a couple more times during the phone call ("Did I thank you for the lovely flowers?").

I chose irises. Because her name's Iris.

annodomini Fri 24-Mar-17 11:55:06

My DSs are good to me and always remember MD, though I am usually a bit hazy about when it happens! A lovely package of flowers arrived this morning from DS2 and family; and yesterday a gift card from DS1. DiL1 lost her mum a year ago so it's a poignant time for her. I know he will take good care of her tomorrow.
I may have divorced their father, but wouldn't be without my DSs.

SueDonim Fri 24-Mar-17 12:57:28

Mothering Sunday isn't a commercial invention, it's an old religious rite when people went back to their Mother Church, and often it was the only time of year when the entire family could get together.

I think I'd have said to your son that it isn't about him, yggdrasil, it's about you! A card isn't essential, a hand written note expressing his love would have been as welcome, I'm sure.

paddyann Fri 24-Mar-17 13:05:33

mine always buy cards and presents even though I tell them not to waste their hard earned cash .If I want or need anything I'm happy to get it myself and that goes for christmas too.I see my kids almost daily ,my son will pop in on his way home from work sometimes near midnight for a chat with his dad and me and my daughter although she has terrible health issues never fails to keep in touch either on her way to and from hospital appointments ,by phone and FB messenger .Thats far better than them wasting money on flowers that are extortionate at these days or presents I dont need .

Bibbity Fri 24-Mar-17 13:19:51

Happy Mothers Day Op.
I think a divorce is needed wink
Failing that is inform him that you've taken a leaf out of his book and believe that birthdays and Christmas are over hyped commercialism and so won't bother getting him anything. And that the phone call covers you for the next 6 years.

yggdrasil Fri 24-Mar-17 14:35:16

Nice one Bibbity smile

Jane10 Fri 24-Mar-17 14:41:35

Like Christmas and Easter, mothers day has been seized on by commercial enterprises of all sorts. Genuine thoughtfulness is what matters rather than shop bought cards or tacky gifts. Its just nice to know your children care and appreciate you.

Jalima Fri 24-Mar-17 14:59:19

Mother's Day is an American invention, thought up by Hallmark cards.

Mothering Sunday is an old tradition and falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent and originated when people went back to worship in their 'mother church' which probably meant that children who were working in services went home and saw their own mothers at the same time. Children would pick flowers as they went along and present them to their mothers.
I think Simnel cake was originally eaten on Mothering Sunday and not at Easter - named after Simon and Nell who were making a cake for their mother and couldn't agree on how it should be baked, that is why it is divided in the middle by marzipan. Other people claim that it was named after Lambert Simnel or that it came from the Latin name for white flour (simila).

yggdrasil tell him he's a grump and do whatever makes you happy on Sunday flowers.

Jalima Fri 24-Mar-17 15:01:27

Failing that is inform him that you've taken a leaf out of his book and believe that birthdays and Christmas are over hyped commercialism and so won't bother getting him anything
Bibbity smile

Yes, phone him and tell him you always think of him on his birthday and it's the thought that counts.

Christinefrance Fri 24-Mar-17 15:06:57

I agree with Bibbity, sauce for the goose etc.
Just read an article about some very vulgar Mothers Day cards on sale, I would rather have none than one of those.
I like your Mother's attitude Fitzy, that's a lady who knows her mind. smile