People who need people.

I can relate to your feelings but not in such depth as you enjoy your own company,I enjoy the company of friends and family in fact I am just now looking forward to meeting up with a friend for mid-day brunch and a catch up on my recent holiday,what I do dislike are things being organised for me,this meet up this morning was arranged just yesterday and an off the cuff decision on both our parts so that works well for me.

Whilst like you I am quite happy with my own company I do sometimes find myself longing for someone to talk to. The main difference here is that you still have your OH. My DH died 6 years ago and I miss the feeling that there is someone there. Where I live there are no clubs, no public transport and all my immediate family live in another country.

I totally understand that if someone has lost their partner or is on their own that they need company. I am lucky that I have my DH and I have sisters, they are my rocks. I have always felt that I was a bit odd as I have never understood the whole 'friends' thing. I have friends who I occasionally meet up with for lunch (ex-colleagues) but although it would be sad if we stopped meeting up, it wouldn't be the end of the world to me. If I didn't see my family I would be devastated. To me, when the chips are down, families will look after their own. I know that's very cynical but it's how I feel. My DH has no friends really, but has never felt the need for them either.

I'm like you, sunseeker, that's why I'm on here so much.
But TG I've still got my husband, he's very much a loner, doesn't miss company at all.

Day 6 you are fortunate indeed to enjoy the best of both worlds -the support of a loving DH, friends going back 40 years, adult children you see a few times a month and DGC you see regularly. And you also enjoy your own company -as do many others.
If on the other hand all the things you describe about your family and friends were taken away from you or so far away geographically or emotionally so that you were left lonely and isolated , I expect you might understand why Internet contact is a lifeline for some people.
I take no issue with anything you have said and many, if not most people would share most of your opinions. It is good to be happy in one's own company but it can also be a lonely place when it is 24/7.
So no, you are not a rare breed just a very blessed one.

Day6, you have a partner, family and friends, you don't understand the difference between time out for yourself and lonliness. The latter can kill.

Succinct and to the point anniebach.

I don't think Day6 is confusing the difference between being alone and being lonely.

People can have a partner, family and friends and still be lonely.

All she is saying is that she is happy with her own company and doesn't feel the need to join activities.

Where I live there are no clubs, no public transport and all my immediate family live in another country.

That sounds grim Sunseeker - whereabouts do you live? (no need to be specific!)

Have a look at flossieturner's thread about Activities, which might give you some ideas - maybe you can share lifts/taxi with others if there is really no public transport at all.

Well said Anniebach - I totally agree with you.

I live in a small village in North Somerset. I do drive so am not totally isolated. I do have friends who I meet occasionally for lunch or coffee and one friend who I go on holiday with, so it's not as bad as it sounds. I have looked in the library in the nearest town but whilst there are lots of Mother and child groups there is nothing for someone approaching 70!!

Oops sunsekker I am turned 60 and we have 2 very good social clubs that dh and I belong to.

I also go to ladies friendship club that my closest friend runs ?

I feel blessed everyday that we have good friends,

Katyk some of us don't have large or close families and to be honest I am far closer to my girlfriends than mynsister, however I do have extremely close bond to my twin brother and his eldest son and family.

I think it is awful to be lonely and spot on lady who said it is totally different if one is alone or without family or friends,

I always enjoyed my own company however after I lost myndear mum to cancer over 30 years ago I felt differently.

I do enjoy reading etc on my own but feel more need for company than I used to.

I feel exactly the same as you do Day6, I enjoy my own company, books, tv etc. I really dislike people dropping in without letting me know first.
As others have said though these are my choices and not forced on me through circumstance. There is a whole world of difference between opting for time alone and being lonely.

Sorry if some do not like my reply but I said the truth, I doubt the O/P would ask the question if she lived alone, children hundreds of miles away, lived in a rural area , no car, little public transport .

I doubt anyone saying they prefer their own company meant 24 a day for God knows how many days

I hope *day 6" can add mobility and health to her list of pluses,because she should be aware that there are also those on GN who may be housebound or have significant mobility issues for whom "virtual" friends are a lifeline.
It is hard to say "count your blessings" without sounding preachy but the implied criticism in "the antidote to woes is to find people to talk to or to share problems" actually made me cross on behalf of a friend whose DH is slipping away with Alzheimer's, on behalf of those widowed or abandoned, on behalf of those whose children are continents away or who may have cut them out of their lives, even on my own behalf with a DH with life limiting incurable illnesses and no chance of a holiday or time away. Few people can internalise their fears, worries and perhaps pain or loneliness without support from those who care.
You are not a peculiar or a rare breed * Day 6, but with all the benefits you enumerate you may be in a minority.

I felt a bit like Day6 when I was working full time and a young family to bring up. Oh to have some time to myself! Now the children have gone and fully retired I have more time on my hands and welcome company and friendship. Feel very lucky to have my health and can take long walks etc.

celebgran Yes I totally understand what you are saying. I know I am lucky not to be lonely and that one day I might be. Although I have a close bond with my sisters, I do not have a close bond with my daughter which makes me sad, although we are not estranged thankfully.

Wanting some me time or time out bears no resemblance to being alone. Day 6 has a very full life with a loving partner, of course it us only natural she's wants a little space sometimes.

Day6, sounds familiar to me. I much love being alone to putter - as I wish, nobody dropping by, solitude.

You sound like an introvert, that's all. I'm the same-I need time to be on my own, and quite often find people hard work. I find parties and social gatherings draining, needing time to recover. I rarely seek out company for the sake of it BUT I have friends, and a daughter, and I can do things if I want to.

However that's not the same as loneliness, which must be awful and destructive.

You have the best of both worlds, op.

There's an interesting book on introversion called Quiet.

Anniebach, I completely agree with you. I think the point is choice. That's the difference between loneliness and being alone.

Day6, Yes, I am with you. I have always been very self contained. As you say, it is not as if we are a loners, or lacked family and friends, but we are self-occupying and quite happy.

I was 'fortunate' that DH's work required a lot of travel so, except when they were tiny, I always had quite a number of long evenings and times when I got time to myself, even more when I retired and he was still working.

Now he is virtually retired and is home all the time. He is busy, so not dependent on me in any way, but we share a (big) study, so even when we are both doing our own work, we are in the same room and sharing different sides of our big partnership desk and that , for me, has been one of the biggest challenges of retirement.

Our daughter is similar, so much so that she hasconsciously decided to remain single and childless because she couldn't cope with having to live with other people on a day to day basis.

She is not anti social. She has a lot of friends - and is away on holiday with one at the moment, but she says she couldn't cope with living with someone as she needs to much solitary time

Thank you Merlotgran.
Mine wasn't a criticism.

I have had years of my life when I wasn't attached and lived alone in a London flat, miles from anyone I knew. I still wasn't a 'joiner' and even as a child I think I disliked being made to go to Brownies every week.
I feel for the genuinely lonely because I appreciate most (?) people make more effort than I do to belong to groups.

I really enjoy solitude, and always have, if I can get it, but I've often wondered why, given I can be a chatterbox too.

I was musing, not criticising but one or two seem offended. I apologise if I've ruffled feathers.

I understand how you feel, and, like you,I enjoy time to read, knit, bake, walk and also pursue other interests. However, also, like you, I have some time with family and friends. Maybe if we had no partner, and rarely saw anyone, we might feel a need for more than our own company.