Going to a wedding alone...

Radicalnan you really made me laugh!

I've been to a couple of weddings on my own. Was a nice day out. It is nice to have an excuse to go somewhere which you don't always get when you are on your own.

Go enjoy your 2 days Be yourself you might be surprised the company you'll be in They want you there life has to go on make the most of it.

I've just had my daughter s wedding. Your friend will seat you thoughtfully, and ur sure to find others in same boat.

I think it's usual these days to put people who have something in common on the same table. In this case it is likely to be people who know very few people there. This is quite normal these days. So many people live alone, many without a +1, there is no need to feel awkward. Go and enjoy the occasion.

Thank you all so much for your positive thoughts. And for a great laugh, radicalnan. Think I should have done the same!
The ceremony is in the countryside at family home, I'm staying couple of miles away at an inn. But I can always call a cab if I am feeling a bit left out once the meals and speeches are over. To be honest, my biggest fear is the initial walking in on my own. So have decided to channel Vivien Leigh when she arrives at a party in Gone With The Wind, apparently in disgrace and Clark Gable abandons her. May not wear quite such a scarlet dress, but, yes, hair and nails done professionally is a great idea.
Also, don't feel I can ask to bring a family member along as guessing they have huge pressure on numbers. It's in about a month, so will report back. Thank you again for all your replies and useful advice.

Sounds a good idea to channel your inner Scarlett O Hara! Go and enjoy yourself. ?

Oh Shizam I know just how you feel - I am prone to going forward in my mind and setting out a negative scenario. So my advice is "Don't over think the situation". Say to yourself "I am going to the wedding and I will be fine" every time a negative thought pops into your mind.

Good Luck! xx

Remember the most useful conversation opener: how do you know[the couple]?
You will then get asked the same question, and 'very old friend' trumps almost anything else: family had to be asked, younger friends as a matter of course, some others because of current social obligations, but you are there because they wanted YOU.

I wish I had gone to my own weddings on my own, the husbands I came home with were a complete disaster. Twice.

lol!

I'm glad you have kept your sense of humour about it *radicalnan^

I remember being asked to a friend's DD's wedding (not on my own I must admit, as DH was invited too). However, we were happy to travel quite a long way to go because apparently the bride said she wasn't going to invite certain distant relatives to her wedding, she only wanted people she liked at her wedding and she obviously liked us enough to invite us.
We felt very honoured and enjoyed it very much although we didn't stay really late, we left the younger people to it.

Am currently reading a brain training book, it's actually for riding, but seems so relevant for much of how I approach life. Negative self talk, as Dannierae said, needs to be rearranged, and as nannarose says, invite is because someone actually wants me there, not because I'm an obligatory relative! Need to finish book and practise what it preaches!

Lol radicalnan I know how you feel!

Good luck Shizam knock 'em dead with glamour...

I went to my lovely friends wedding on my own. It was the first big occasion since my marriage broke up. My dear friend had arranged with another guest, who i slightly knew to almost be my plus one. Her poor husband was slightly sidelined but he clearly didn't seem to mind. Of course, there were moments when I felt awkward but overall it was a lovely day and I was so glad i had made the effort. Oh, and when I had had enough i kissed my chaperone and the bride and groom and went on my merry way. They all understood perfectly well.

Shizam. I am afraid I would have to decline my old friends' invitation. I am a confident person, but I could not go through 2 days in the situation you describe. If it was a one day affair I could deal with it knowing that I would be able to slip away home virtually unnoticed! I am about to attend a similar event with my husband, who will not be allowed to sit with me as he is giving his daugther away and then has to sit with the estranged family. I don't know anybody and barely know the daughter. Its one day thank goodness! I have every intention of slipping away when the time is right.

I do think a lot will depend on the sort of person you are. It's no use pretending that everyone is equally happy or confident in such situations. My mother, although probably a bit of an extreme case, would have run a mile - it would have been a nightmare for her.

I will go against the grain here, and say that if you really are dreading it, and it's going to be something of an ordeal for you, then don't go - and don't feel bad about It!

I often think that one of the advantages of getting older is that you no longer necessarily feel you HAVE to do or go to things just because you feel you ought to.

Shizam - I differ- I would say don't go! Is it worth weeks of anxiety for one expensive day or two?

Send a bigger cheque with your polite refusal and relax!

[Fortunately at 86 I can use my age as an excuse!]

I wouldn't go either because I loathe misery. I'd send a lovely note and gift and be done.

Another negative one here.
If it was fairly local where I could go to the ceremony, then the meal and then make my excuses and leave I would consider it but not two days to fill and then staying in an inn with no-one I knew that would be far too much.
If they are really good friends they will totally understand.

Shizam it would have been easy NOT to invite you but your friend did. She must want you there. I suspect the day will go by and you will hardly be aware of who is with who..except maybe for the bride & groom!
Go with a positive spirit, be prepared to enjoy an early night if the dancing does not appeal but you may be surprised and have a lot of fun! Look forward to hearing about the day!

Are any of the other guests staying in the same place as you? Ask your friend saying you would like to share a taxi with them if there is someone. You won't then arrive alone.
I would look at the area and plan something else to do whilst you are there- walk, historical building visit or such. Then you can pretend it's just a short break and push the wedding to the back of your mind. You could tell your friend about your fears and ask her to get the best man to keep an eye on you.

Good advice above. I have managed 3 solo weddings since being widowed. The last 2 were fine as family and friends were there but the first was a big do in London involving 2 nights in a hotel. I'm quite gregarious and although a little nervous, soon palled up with the bride's aunt who invited me to share a breakfast table and once at the wedding I was seated with some lovely people - one wrote the gardening page in the Times, so plenty to talk about! As others have said, if you really dont feel comfortable about the whole thing, don't go. I just looked upon it as yet another tick in the 'do it alone' box and made up my mind to have a really good time. I met loads of people I wouldn't normally have come across, saw parts of London I'd never normally see - the wedding was in the Temple Church in the Inns of Court - and stayed in a rather splendiferous hotel !

Oh Marmight how amazing, the Temple Church! Did a walk around the Inns of Court on my last London visit. Amazing area, but a wedding in the church. You move in select circles!!

Out of my usual comfort zone- the bridegroom was a barrister!