Estranged daughter's wedding

I have a photo frame which digitally runs a selection of pics.....not an expensive thing but rather lovely and you can load masses of pics onto it.

A decent photographer can cost £1000 especially in spring/summer when they get very booked up, him doing the job is a massive gift and in intimate one too. She is a lucky girl.

If you put all the photographs on a memory card, you could make them a present of a digital photo frame - variations available on you-know-who. Then she could watch pictures of her wedding ad nauseam and entertain bore visitors with a display. She could also print off copies to send to her relatives to remind them of the occasion or put it on a Christmas card. A fancy album will end up gathering dust - take my word for it!

Think Norah's idea is a very good one! saak why would you make a comment like that, there must be a reason

DH isn't a professional photographer but he's a very, very good amateur.

Thank you for all your advice.

If you feel that a gift is needed over and above the photography and DVD of pics, then maybe a plant for their garden if they have one.

She does sound a bit of an opportunist, having had no contact all this time, but then wanting to make use of your OH. However, maybe it will be the start of better things to come - I certainly hope so.

I use a website called getting personal to get cards and gifts with a name and personal message printed on. If you wanted to buy the photo frame perhaps you could add the bride and groom's name and the wedding date.

It's hard trying to make everything right and it's very hard thinking of wedding presents for those with expensive tastes or who seemingly have everything why not put a card within your card for her to choose one special photo and then put it on canvas that can be done online for £20 or less or as others have said a photo book as opposed to an album which she can buy herself unfortunately anything photo related won't be able to be given on the day (personally I wouldn't think an empty photo frame would cause much excitement) I think you are presuming she wouldn't like any album you choose maybe she would go within your budget the photographing of the event is a big enough wedding present

Gosh I ve never heard of guests paying for the photography I must get out more that's a new one on me

is your husband a professional photographer,if so he'll know that he can get storybook style albums from different suppliers with huge variety of prices,he could also put her pictures on his website with a password protecting it and take orders for prints from guests..he could use any profit from those to pay for an album OR she could request donations from guests (as their gift) towards the album cost .We often have guests calling and asking to pay £25 or £50 towards photography for the happy couple...sometimes a guest will pay half the bill .Always worth a try.

Is there any way another member of the family could pay for the album itself? Or, alternatively, if you give her an album you can afford she can transfer the prints herself to whatever super de luxe album she wants.
TBH wedding photographers DO NOT COME CHEAP so he is already giving her a generous present with the pics, the DVD and some prints.
I am so sorry she has been so grudging about the wedding invites especially as she clearly has no argument with her half siblings.
Is she being a total bridezilla or would she listen to reason? If you can't afford what she wants that is all there is to it and it would be a real shame if this wedding became another source of friction.
PS "photobooks" are not expensive, how about that and she can print off the pics she wants from the DVD.

I agree with Norah. One or two framed photos would be lovely.

If you find 'posts like these pretty bloody awful' perhaps Stillalive you should stay off them and not comment.

Oh dear.

I meant: Don't you believe her if she doesn't think the photography is a lovely gesture and gift.

And I agree the photography itself is a wonderful gift. Don't you believe it's not a lovely gesture.

Tell her the photography is her wedding present. If she complains, who cares.
Either she has you at the wedding and gets a gift of photography or she doesn't and doesn't.

(I've got the impression this young woman is not very pleasant. If I'm wrong about that my advice might be different.)

I think the best picture, framed, would be lovely. I often find reasonable frames at TKMaxx.

saak a very sweeping and unpleasant statement. Actually comes across as seeking to be confrontational and to cause upset.

vampirequeen off the top of my head I don't have any good ideas about a gift, especially if the bride has expensive specifics in mind, but I wish you well and hope that some member comes up with the perfect suggestion.

Thank you for that Maggiemaybe but we need to buy a present too. The photography won't be seen as a gift.

I agree with Maggie.

I think the wedding photography in itself is a very valuable and thoughtful gift, vampirequeen, and one that any bride should be happy with.

Sadly the album she wants is very expensive and she wouldn't be happy if we gave her a different one.

We are on benefits (I am ill and DH is my carer) and we just couldn't afford it.

Well that's a bit of a presumption, stillaliveandkicking. Is it really appropriate to make such sweeping statements about people you don't know?

Marriages don't always break down because of the husband's behaviour and fathers don't always disappear from their children's lives. Some actually fight to see their children and maintain relationships. They also willingly pay maintenance even if it means working two jobs.

Next wives don't always dislike their step children. In fact some of us actually have good relationships with them...not as their mother but as the wife of their father.

The reason for the estrangement between father and daughter is a family matter and not for discussion.

Why hasn't she "bothered" with him then? Did she just wake up one day and decide to dislike her father. I find posts like these pretty bloody awful. It usually derives from the man leaving the previous family nest to make another one without mitigating any damage done. Then the next wife decides that he is some poor misunderstood soul with awful previous offspring.

Coincidentally, I've been looking for a novel/unusual photo album and came across this

Album

It even has a little red heart making it wedding-appropriate.

Why is a photo album expensive? you can make lovely albums online that are commercially printed for about £20. I made one for my mother as well as a collage - you load up your own photos

www.photobox.co.uk/shop/photo-books

Look at these
www.vistaprint.co.uk/photo-books.aspx?txi=17001&xnid=TopNav_Photo+Books+(IN+USE)+(linked+item)_Photo+Products+(EU)&xnav=TopNav

Is it the album that's expensive or printing the photos? Think harrigran's idea is a good one. Could it be done on a smaller scale.

The photo album is far to expensive. We just can't afford it.