What's normal?

I don't think there's any such thing as normal. Normal is what's right for you. Surely something like sex should be spontaneous and vary according to inclination? Not like it's the first of the month so it's sex night! Although when the moon is full ...!

Chance be a fine thing!!!

Agreed Nfk
Also sex has many forms. Are you talking just about full penetrative sex ?

ninathenana I think there are a lot of things that can get in the way of that or make it more difficult, I was more thinking sexual intimacy

ok. I just thought that needed clarifying.
I agree there often comes a time when full sex isn't possible for whatever reason.

I am 60..I miss my sex drive! My Libido was waining before, but Breast Cancer treatment 2012 pushed me into full blown Meno and 4 yrs on I am so fatigued and really...just not hungry!OH has issues with it, still wants to 'make love' often. I have had 7 reconstruction surgeries, more to come due to problems. OH has no issue with my 'boobs' etc.. things were stressful between us before the BC and I think never really resolved..i just went into auto pilot..now I miss me, the fun the flirts the anticipation...just can't muster it up!

The thought is there with both of us but tiredness just gets in the way. Have found a different position that makes it a lot less tiring for both of us and yet still as good. my oh often says give us a hug and that means a lot to me.

Sex ....what's that

No problem for me, been a widow for so long I am a born again virgin

Once a month for 40s and 50s. Surely it gets better for a lot of couples once they retire.

You've spent most of your life being exhausted by children and work. Now is the time to swing from the chandeliers and jump off the top of the wardrobe

Yes I agree there is no normal but there is a comfortable place couples get to for them and its specific and special to them. I do think though sometimes you have to make the effort, its easy to get lazy about it - I'll get told off for that but I'm remembering Dr Ruth it was one of her cautions. We're still on weekly more or less.

Use it or lose it.
I was forced into losing it, it wasn't by choice.

They say the more you have the more you want and the less you have the less you need!!!

There are other sorts of closeness
But I still think it's a shame that proper sex is no longer possible now that we r retired and have more time and privacy.

Remember that when you have sex regularly, you will be less tired and crave more sex. Get to the train ride and don't stop going ?

My sex drive is non-existent since hitting menopause however I am aware DH still has his needs. I have appointment for clinic in June to consider HRT which I believe should revive my sex drive. I am just so tired even with a nap some days I still go to bed at 10 and fall asleep almost instantly. I work 2 days each week and have to make a real effort to get up and go in. On those days I come home and have a nap. My thyroid is under active but I am on medication however since that went I have never been as alert. I am 55 and only now have sex about once every 2 weeks. I am hoping HRT will bring my libido back.

There is no normal. This desire to compare one's sex life with that of others seems a bit odd to me. What is right for you is right for you; and if it is not right for you and you mind about it, then action is possible. It matters not one whit what everyone else is or isn't doing.

Do you and hubby have holidays? Was always a good time for us.

samsgran,I am with you, life seems to get in the way, you have this vision when you are younger that the carefree days will come when the kids have all flown the nest but there is always something else in the way, my Father-in-Law is very ill so a lot of time is taken up with hospital visiting, we both work full time & feel shattered, Hubby is just recovering from a knew replacement operation 6 weeks ago today, so it's all going on.

I'd rather have a cup of tea, and a ginger biscuit anyway!

Everyone is different as others have said.
My husband and I have never had 'proper' sex as he does not enjoy it. I knew that when I married him but hoped it would improve, but it hasn't.
I'm now aged 63 and haven't had sex for 15yrs+, but I still love him and just accept the situation.
Cuddles are just as nice, as is the unfailing loyalty and support I get from him.

We haven't 'made love' for over 2 years since my husband's depression and prostate problems. In our late 60s now but only married for 12 years.
I miss the feeling of being desirable and loved and the deep feeling of togetherness afterwards rather than the actual physical side. I thought I wouldn't miss it but I do.

Familiarity is a sure way of 'cooling' you down..Does intimacy have to be in one special place? Difficult if you never know when someone is going to visit and walk in unless you keep the doors locked.We and late DH were never what you would call in later life , like as in our early years of marriage frequently at it.After his retirement DH walking into the shower room, unexpected and joining me, was I believe what did add spice to our life rather than 'I'm too tired can I have a raincheck'?.























































Who believes familiarity , not just poor health, will show a decline in intimacy as we get older.
I can recall after retirement from a very stressful job late DH unexpectedly joining me when I was having a shower. Other times not waiting for the bedroom.

In my dreams....?