Bereavement before a wedding

We have just had a similar situation. My son's wife lost a baby at 20 weeks a week before his sister got married last Friday. She was married abroad so there was no way my son or his wife could attend. I do not think for a minute that they expected her to cancel the wedding - they are just extremely sad that they could not be there.

There's no set etiquette for this sad situation Chris, just family choice.
The husband of close friend invited to DD wedding died the week before. Close friend decided to carry on & attend the wedding anyway, bringing her own daughter for support. I remember watching them dance at the Reception. She said much later that she was glad she went for all sorts of reasons.

Timing is never convenient. There used to be a cancer advert on the tv with a bride in her dress saying, "My mum should be here." It reduced me to tears every time, because it happened to me. Tears are fine Chris, even at a wedding, it's perfectly natural in the healing process and your DiL wouldn't be very caring if she weren't upset. Big hugs and kisses will help, as will mentioning him in an address.
Personally candles and photos of the deceased are not my thing, especially at someones else's event, however close they were.

I've been to a wedding where they layed a place at the table for the deceased and put a photo in the middle of the setting.

My beloved Great Grandma died 5 weeks before our wedding, we went ahead for lots of reasons but the main one being she would have been really upset if we had cancelled, she would have said "life goes on".

Mollie that must have been awful for you.
Thank you for your idea's. It will be a creamation and 200 miles away so bouqet idea maybe difficult. My son will def raise a toast to him. The idea of mentioning him in the ceremony is lovely, but I fear will result in the bride falling into floods of tears. Such a shame this has happened to their family as their first grandchild gets married. His widow will have lots of family support.

I agree with Anya & mumofmadboys, remember him in the ceremony , if I died I would want it all to go ahead as planned,. I think though the death of a child as happened to Mollie is different, that must have been so hard for you Mollie.

If he leaves a widow, it would be kind to make sure she is wel supported by a named family member(s) or a good friend, as this might be very stressful for her.

I agree go ahead with the wedding. They could ask the vicar, if it is a church wedding ,to mention the grandfather in his addresss if they wish. I agree about the bride's bouquet. Lovely idea if geographically convenient.

Of course they should go ahead with the wedding. I'm sure her grandfather would have wished that, apart from the expense and inconvenience of cancelling.

There ought to be a mention of her GF at the wedding and a toast to him would be appropriate. I love the idea of laying the brides bouquet on his grave too.

This happened to me twice. My son died six weeks before my second marriage, my grandfather six weeks before my first. I wasn't aware of a protocol, I think it's personal choice. I cancelled the guests after my son died and just quietly married my husband with only witnesses in attendance. Perhaps it's better to concentrate on the couple marrying - the brides bouquet could be taken to the grave afterwards as both mine were. Best wishes to the couple.