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Are you judgmental?

(33 Posts)
kittylester Sun 11-Jun-17 16:18:48

A thread with a very similar title was one of the first I started all those years ago when GN was in black and white. grin

So, do you consider that you are judgmental?

I believe we all are to some extent but what influences how you see someone?

Is it their clothes, the colour of their hair, where they live, their sexuality, their intelligence, their voting inclination or something else?

Or do you see all people as being worth your interest?

Elrel Sun 11-Jun-17 16:23:14

I try not to be but I'm sure I slip up sometimes.

NanaandGrampy Sun 11-Jun-17 16:28:49

I think I can say all people are worthy of my interest Kitty until they prove they are not smile

Baggs Sun 11-Jun-17 16:35:06

Yes, of course I'm judgmental. I make judgments about things and people all the time, necessarily. So long as most of the judgments are either positive or neutral, it doesn't matter except to me and how I approach the world.

I'd hazard a guess that most social animals are very judgmental in the way I've outlined. They have to be. It's part of the skill set necessary to coping in a social group. I consider a negative judgment about a yob engaging in yobbish behaviour to be very important to my safety, for instance. It's an avoid! warning.

Baggs Sun 11-Jun-17 16:38:19

When I see someone dropping litter, I think: Slob! When I see someone being kind to another, I think: Good for you. All this is judgment.

Rigby46 Sun 11-Jun-17 16:56:19

I agree with Baggs we all make judgements about people all the time. It's what we base it on that counts. Is it evidence ( as in the two examples she gives) or just based on prejudice such as 'he's covered in tattoos/black' therefore......'. If I see people on TV outside an abortion clinic shouting at staff/women going in, I judge them very very harshly indeed. Why would I not?

KatyK Sun 11-Jun-17 18:20:31

I used to be quite judgemental I think. Lately, I have been less so (I hope). I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life which have made me a dithering wreck from time to time. I probably look to the outside world like someone who can't cope at times when I have actually coped with more than they will every know. I try to think people are a product of their life experiences. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes is a good expression. Of course as people have said above, it's harad not to be judgemental in some cases.

varian Sun 11-Jun-17 18:48:21

When you meet someone for the first time, it is quite easy to form an impression - I wouldn't call it a judgement- which turns out to be wrong when you actually get to know them.

I think that folk our age are far more likely to be wrongly judged as, say boring, when we are nothing of the sort. Older folk are in fact generally quite interesting because of all their varied life experiences, even if we all look grey, wrinkly and probably boring.

Deedaa Sun 11-Jun-17 20:56:04

I am quite appallingly judgemental but I do try not to tell people what I think. Presumably most of them are thinking fairly judgemental thoughts about me too.

M0nica Sun 11-Jun-17 21:38:04

The most judgemental are those who say they are not.

There are times when to be judgemental is appropriate,(anyone non-judgemental when they read about the conviction and sentences of famous paedophiles?). There are times when it isn't. Wisdom is knowing when each is appropriate.

whitewave Sun 11-Jun-17 21:39:19

Yes and im often proved wrong blush

Chewbacca Sun 11-Jun-17 22:04:35

In my younger days, I'm afraid that I was probably very judgemental; I very much conformed to the "first impressions theory". But the older I get, the more I've taken on board that everyone has s**t going on in their lives that the rest of us have no inkling of. I'm far less judgemental about people these days, unless I see or hear about child or animal cruelty - and then I judge heavily.

loopylou Sun 11-Jun-17 23:43:51

Probably, however hard I might try to not be so.

Baggs Mon 12-Jun-17 07:55:01

In the end it's not what you think about someone that counts, it's how you behave towards them. And you can change your mind as far as the thinking bit goes without that affecting your behaviour.

Behaviour is what counts.

Anya Mon 12-Jun-17 08:03:36

Chewbacca I think that's about how I am too. Sadly there are quite a few some who (judging (!) by comments on GN) seem to get more judgmental as they age.

grannypiper Mon 12-Jun-17 09:12:23

Of course we are, it is part of our self preservation. We make a judgment of everyone we come across,sometimes consciously sometimes not and sometimes we voice them and sometimes we dont.

aggie Mon 12-Jun-17 09:21:20

Unfortunately I am judgemental ! I hate myself for it and am happy to be proved wrong . all the leaflet stuffers recently got the sharp edge of my tongue as they rattled the Letterbox and woke OH grrrrrrrrr . Even the Party I supported sad got a furious face thrust at them . I calmed down by the second Election and just shoved the Leaflets back at them with a teeth grinding grin ( think that was actually more scary )and asked them politely to not litter my hallway

kittylester Mon 12-Jun-17 16:56:53

But - what are your judgments based upon?

Baggs Mon 12-Jun-17 17:07:32

Signals brought to one's brain by one's senses.

Baggs Mon 12-Jun-17 17:09:27

That's literally. How one interprets the signals is more complicated and, presumably, is based on one's personality, one's beliefs, one's political outlook, one's ethics, etc, etc, etc.

But it's still one's behaviour that matters more.

rosesarered Mon 12-Jun-17 17:20:20

Being able to sum up a person and a situation is important, so being judgemental is important to our own safety ( or could be.) You can change your mind on that on further meetings of course.

MissAdventure Mon 12-Jun-17 17:25:39

Yes, I suppose I am. In my defence, I try not to be, and I'm certainly less so than when I was younger. I hope, anyway.

aggie Mon 12-Jun-17 17:35:23

I think I just judged the leafleters on my antipathy to politicians , one should look at the person not the perceived expectations ?

Tizliz Mon 12-Jun-17 18:25:12

My OH is very judgemental and it causes lots of rows. Our daughter is always complaining to me about it. He admits he is and says he will try and at least keep quiet about it, but doesn't last long. Luckily he is not very sociable and doesn't go to the pub - he would be arrested I am sure grin.

Willow500 Tue 13-Jun-17 17:53:23

I don't really know if I am or not. I don't make judgements about people I meet straight away although might be guilty of doing it about people on tv programs sometimes. My husband is terrible and also extremely cynical about everyone and everything - unfortunately he's often proved right hmm