No friends

Here's a link to U3A find a group

I also recommend joining u3A. I moved to a new town and all my closest friends are dead now so I was quite isolated. I've met lots of new people, go to interesting talks and I so enjoyed one of the study groups that I have decided to do a degree in that subject. I am now going to college part time and meeting lots of interesting people young and older.

I'd also suggest volunteering in local charity shop/hospital/school reading group.

Do you have any hobbies or interests OP?

Where abouts in the country do you live bettyboo

I think it depends a bit on your definition of a friend. I can't think of anyone I would ring up in an emergency, or if I was feeling low and longing for someone to drop everything and come round, apart from my daughter. I would love to have a best mate to swap texts with every day, to go off and do silly thing with, and to help them out when they had problems. But I do have coffee and lunches fairly regularly, go to U3A, Tangent (another possibility for you>) volunteer at a local hospice, help out at the Cathedral etc. It's just not quite the same as feeling that close to someone that you can share anything.

My daughter had a small group of friends that she has known since school-days, they are always in touch, help each other out, spend weekends at each others houses, go off on holiday together. I really envy her that!

Virtual friends, lovely though they are, can't fill the gap!

Don't forget the W.I. Plenty in London & they will have various clubs you can join. Just got back from AGM in Liverpool & it is a reminder at how well women do at talking to each other. A lot of people went alone & I never saw anyone without someone to talk to at all times. Women of all ages meet new friends there- there were plenty of girls with blue/green/ purple hair & tatoos at AGM too so it is taking off with the younger women too which is brilliant.
U3A has been mentioned & is also a very good place to meet people.
Does your local library have a reading group?

I have no interest really in going out, dressing up, having a drink or dancing. That seems to be the problem, or one of them.
I want the kind of friend where we can sit and natter; put the world to rights over a cup of tea, share our highs and lows, be silly, and support each other.

There are several good sites on Facebook for making friends (not dating sites I hasten to add) - I belong to a couple and people are already organising to meet up as small groups in local areas just to have a coffee and chat in person. If you are on Facebook then have a look at www.facebook.com/groups/over60sfriendshipgroup/?ref=nf_target&fref=nf or www.facebook.com/groups/britishbabyboomers/?fref=nf or www.facebook.com/groups/202208150302560/?fref=nf

I feel the same too, live in a very rural area, sometimes I think it may be better to be independent. I have a "Have I Got News For You" type of humour, quite dry, and this is lost on a lot of people, so I give up!

This is sad. I'm very lucky in having both friends and family but we have moved around a lot and I know how hard it is to get established in a new community. I've found the only way is to 'join things' whether that be WI, U3A or a keep-fit class. You also have to persevere, no good giving up because people don't talk to you, sometimes it's not because they are unfriendly but that they are just shy and need encouragement. It's easy to find yourself waiting until another person invites you for a coffee or whatever but it's much quicker to be the person doing the inviting. Many times I've found myself having coffee with someone with whom I have nothing whatever in common but then through that first contact you meet someone who is more on your wavelength and a fledgling friendship is established. Incidentally, I don't have a dog myself but I've noticed that dog walkers seem to make a lot of friends quite easily - I think it is a similar process to meeting young children from school!

Friendship is an art/science that we learn over time. Because the learning came naturally we have no idea what we have learned until we find that our friends are dying and we now find it 'difficult' to make new ones.

I listed my friends and found that because I live in the country side and because I like relating to women my friends are widows or people living alone who have cars and can drive them.

When I go to U3A groups I therefore look for this kind of person and strike up a conversation offer to fetch a cup of tea etc.

I carry an address book and if I have made sufficient contact write the persons address, telephone no and email in. The next time the activity is due to take place I ring and ask if they will be there, say I hope to meet with them again etc. I usually have a list of films I would like to see as a result of reading reviews. Then if things go well I can suggest a film or two and see if there is one we would like to meet up at etc.

So one goes on. It takes time and persistence to make new friends.

There is a penguin book by Micheal Argyle and Monika Henderson - The anatomy of relationships the rules and skills needed to manage them successfully. ISBN 0 14 022578 1

Chapter 12 covers skills training for lonely people.

This may sound a bit tough but its no fun being lonely and really not too difficult to move out of that position socially.

It is not easy however to find a friend that will be as close as a sister. I have wondered sometime if using an internet friendship site or an advertised site might be a possibility but have not felt the need to explore this yet.

Joining a group of like minded people helps. I joined Weightwatchers and now have six other friends from that . . . and we hardly ever go to the meetings now, but enjoy social activities together.

I have always enjoyed dancing, and have lessons. Now I'm pretty okay at dancing, I go to public dances and meet loads of people there.

Find an interest and go to classes and you are bound to meet like minded people and make friends.

It would be a lot easier if folk mentioned where they lived if they want to meet up with somebody for coffee. I live in Harrow.

Hello bettyboo, volunteering works for me. I havent got much talent for small talk, but working alongside others there is always a topic of conversation. The Do-it web site will have local opportunities. I do find though that lots of people seem to be really busy rushing from one thing to another, doing things with grandkids etc so the friendships tend to just be when we are at 'work' rather than develop into anything more. Having said that a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week is lovely, as is the sense of shared purpose.

I'm friendless too
I have always been very self reliant, and have been quite happy to have what could loosely be termed just a couple of "friends" but I yearn for a really close mate
I did join some meet up groups, and went out with some ladies for lunch a few times. I nap looking after my mum at the time, which was becoming more and more difficult, and found I had been removed from the groups I'd joined.

I too have no friends, after reading all the comments, maybe it would be an idea if those in the same area met up. Whilst I know that 'living in the same area' is rather a long shot.

I've joined the Red Hat Society, lots of different activities to get involved with and varies a lot depending on the chapter you join. We have weekends away, turkey and tinsel, book club, coffee mornings to name a few. Well worth a look and I've met some lovely women

I know how you feel, I would love to meet someone in similar circumstances with the same warped sense of humour and outlook on life. I did join U3a and am a leader of a couple of groups but all my friends are married. I don't have a problem making friends, I enjoy stimulating conversation, but I've yet to meet one person to share things with.

Hi - I'm in the same boat my best friend passed away 5 years ago. I was widowed 23 years ago then May a mistake and married a guy who doesn't know what conversation means, am the carer for my 91 year old mother who is developing dementia, recently relocated to Cheshire. Whilst I chair one of the largest branches of a national charity and belong to several organisations there is still no-one to talk to. Absolutely lonely beyond belief. Anyone live local who would like a coffee?

LondonMzFitz what part of London do you live in- the reason I ask is that 3-4 of us meet up monthly for coffee and have been doing it for over 3 years now. It is a very pleasant get together and we get along very well.

My besties emigrated many years ago one to USA and one to Oz so we are just FB friends now. Most of our going out circle are DH's friends and their wives, if/when he dies they will disappear. I have some ex colleagues from a few previous jobs I meet for drinks or dinner a couple of times a year, but they are not really friends just ex colleagues from over 20 years ago in some cases, whom I have less and less in common with. I think it's a female problem - my Mum was the same only 1 or 2 friends from a whole lifetime for her funeral. We probably need to do a get together and hook up.

I often feel the same bettyboo, and am also an only daughter...where abouts are you?..anywhere near London...Romford way...? I'd happily meet up with you!

Tegan 2 - totally off topic, but I wonder what is the origin of your [to me] unusual name?

U3A is great - not necessarily to meet close friends but to socialise and learn! I mainly go for the reading group.

I have no real life friends. I can chat and get on with people but I have no idea how that transforms into a friendship.

There have been times when I thought I had a friend but they turned out to be false.

I learned when I was young not to trust anyone and subsequent experiences have reinforced that.

meetup.com

Theatre groups, walking groups, afternoon tea groups. I've joined a few and widened my circle - acquaintances at first, friends as a work in progress. I've climbed over the O2, had numerous dinners, pub quizzes, 2 trips to Europe cities.

Thank you Tegan. You are too. We'll have to have another meet up sometime in the not to distant future.