I just wanted to add another dimension here. Yes she will be grieving and angry but, she lost her baby at 20 weeks, it's not like an early miscarriage she will have gone through labour and birth and held him afterwards, your son and dil probably named their baby (you don't mention) and took photographs and have kept the tiny clothes he was dressed in, they're not obliged to have a funeral at 20 weeks but the majority of people choose too (you don't mention.) Their baby died and part of the pain is that people don't always acknowledge loss, if a dies baby before it's born, as a death or talk about the baby as a real human being in the way that they would if an older baby or child had died, to your dil it feels no different. She probably just can't understand how your daughter was just upset that her brother and niece couldn't be there but could get married the same week her nephew died and that you could appear to celebrate days after your grandson died, I'm not criticising your choices, I understand them, I'm just trying to explain just how mind boggling your dil might find it. I had a baby who died and I couldn't really believe the world was still turning let alone if a family wedding went ahead days after I'd given birth. She may come to view it differently later, I'm certainly more charitable 3 years on to things that angered and upset me at the time, and appreciate the practical difficulties you and your daughter would've faced, but it may always hurt if she feels that her son's death hasn't been mourned.
