Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Sterling work Marydoll, can we invite the vat inspector to the knees up, I rather liked him

Three cheers to Marydoll hic hic hooray!!!

I have a special surprise for all of you. I have invited all the inspectors: tax, vat, school, environmental health, quality control, health and safety, police and bus ticket inspector to the soiree. We need to get them on our side, as we have no dosh to pay the fines.
I will get my gold medal hooch from the vault. just in case the gin is not replaced That should keep them sweet. Until the next crisis.....?

In one of my former lives, I was a health and safety inspector. I'm sure with the right incentive i.e. huge bottle of whiskey I can persuade him/her to overlook the leaking gas pipes, the faulty wiring, the hole in the floor where someone took up the trapdoor for firewood...I could go on, but my fifth G&T is calling me.

minesaprosecco, thanks for the kind offer to use your expertise and wiles to deflect the H&S inspector. However, that is the least of our worries.
The faulty wiring caused all the fuses to blow and the hash brownie harvest is no more. I should have asked the electricity inspector to the wake, he may have been of some assistance.
So not only have we lost the harvest, we have lost our only source of income. All the dosh that I earned networking on the cruise is gone. I had to use it to bail out Chewy from the clink last night and now she has gone AWOL again. The odd thing is, the fire inspector has gone AWOL too.

What a bunch of losers. I shall have to soften up the Bank Manager again. He was putty in my fingers last time (to put it delicately) so I will massage his ego and stuff my pockets with dosh. Maybe we could invite him to the party. The bailiffs are knocking at the door. One of you old soaks will have to sort them out.

Oh, my aching head! Where did last night go to? Where did I go to? Where am I? This bedroom doesn't look familiar at all - and neither does the bloke next to me.

Liaise, I don't mind being called a "soak", but OLD.!!!!!

Hello can anyone hear me, I'm stuck in the cellar...again

Sorry MARYDOLL how could I think you were old when you are 29 just like me. In the prime! Has anyone seen the key to the cellar door? There is an awful banging noise coming from down there. MENOPAWS if you are banged up down there make yourself useful with a mop and bucket.

Too late I've made myself useful with a gin and tonic I hid down here weeks ago

That VAT Inspector is still down there somewhere but he's not wearing much since I flogged his kit.

This is one almighty mess .
Chewy and the fire inspector are still missing.

I'm getting really concerned, as the caff has been empty since last evening.
Does no-one want to party? A cup of herbal tea, perhaps?

Make that a hot toddy with lemsip and I'm in!

I'd quite like a Prozac frappe if there's one going.

Oh dear, we all seem quite low tonight. I'll need to get my thinking cap on.?

I wondered, shall we close the Argy? No-one seems to be visiting anymore. It's quite lonely in here.

......or is everyone down in the cellar?

Helloooooo!
Popped in for a quick glass of is it too early?
I expect others will be in soon for the hair of the dog, or the ferret.?

Oh I'm so glad to see you Lemongrove . I thought you had run off with one of the inspectors. I wouldn't blame you, they are all very "fit".

I will be back later, I'm doing my housework and packing for my trip to Italy on Saturday.
I can't wait to meet all those handsome Italian men, whatever age they are.
I am hoping to persuade a few to come and work in the Argy.

I also wondered if the Argy had run its course and I apologise for my absence, what do others think, meanwhile I'll just finish off the absinthe while we ponder

And yes I'm still in the bloody cellar if anyone cares to let me out

Here you are Menopaws come on out, the door was unlocked but a little stiff, needs a bit of an oil first as the
Bishop said to the actress.
Are there any badger flavour crisps left? I have brought a bag of home made popadoms and some left over pheasant curry ( well, I ran over one if the way home last night, pity to waste it.)?

All this time the only problem was a little stiff! Who would have thought? I'm all for a pheasant curry lemon so dish it on up and let's see if anyone else comes through the door, as the bishop ........

It's my signature dish ( whenever I happen to run over one)
And is very tender and tasty. Have a large bowlful, it will put hairs on your chest.?
I think many of our regulars are down with this virus thing that is going around, said to be spread by wild ferrets.