Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Now we don’t know who you have been wearing out Marydoll!

I admit, I'm a little confused.
What did you say my name was? Do you think I should star a new thread on GN,
" Who am I?"

You really must lay off the strong stuff! Try a mug of Ovaltine instead?

YUK!!!! When I was in hospital, that's what they offered us every night.

Bet you kept a brandy bottle under your pillow.

Time for bed, goodnight all, will the last one out lock up please? ?zzzzzz

Actually, it was Moet, if you must know. I have never touched brandy since the episode in 1976 when I over indulged in brandy and Babycham and I had to be carted home from the pensioners' club.

Tomorrow is another day of mayhem

Who locked me in the cellar? I was just showing Barry how to change a barrel!!

Well, that's a new name for it.

I'll have you know that Carruthers (as he prefers to be known) came with excellent references. My DH, the late Duke, would have approved of him. He's already put a bomb under my staff and cook has threatened to hand in her notice. No great loss if last night's dinner is anything to go by.
I've told Carruthers to check out the Argy Bargy as I may have to eat out on a more regular basis. If he approves I may venture in sometime.

Yes, do, Jane we have pigeion pie on the menu today, also
Tripe a la mode, and venison in red wine ( I had a collision on the road here today, but managed to get ‘it’ into the boot of the car.)
As I will be doing all the cooking today, somebody else will have to clean up, and wipe down the tables.
I heard a lot of noise from the cellar earlier, but Meno tells me it’s ‘the pipes’,

Nothing wrong with my pipes

Carruthers may carry out an unannounced visit but he's very busy carrying out an inventory of our wine cellars. He's been down there all afternoon but, obviously we have a huge selection of vintage wines to catalogue.

Carruthers, wine? That rings a very loud bell.
Isn't that the butler in the news, who drank all his lordship's vintage wine collection and replaced the missing wine with blackcurrant juice? It wasn't even Rib***, it was the cheapest own label stuff he could find.
I'm only saying... thought you might want to know.
Does this look anything like him?

It's ok I'll give him a hand counting the wine

Ha, ha. How long before you lose count.?

One potato two potato oh who cares....happy days

Well you lot obviously didn't notice him last night. He's just brought me his notes about his visit to the Argy Bargy. I notice that he wasn't impressed by the standard of hygiene, food and beverage offer or general ambience. He strongly suggests that I not only never go there but also should report the place to the public health department. He seems to have developed a nasty rash since last night. He wouldn't show me it as it was somewhere unmentionable so I can't be sure of what might have caused it. I gather that livestock was wandering freely about the place though.
Just off to report the place to public health, cleansing department and RSPCA. You can expect to be inspected!!

I would hold my horses if I was (were??) you. We have some very incriminating footage of how Carruthers acquired his rash.

It's too late. The inspectors are on their way. I've given Carruthers the evening off. He's off to some sort of clinic or vet. I'm not sure which.

If only the Nudes of the World was still in existence?I wonder to which newspaper I could offer the pics.

Jane10 you say ‘livestock wandering around freely’ ?
Is that any way to talk about our customers?!

I agree. Do you think we should report this to GNHQ???

Oh yes you probably should but is it flaming or bullying? I'm never quite sure what people mean by those terms!