Travelling by car

Shewee !

Hi Basilcat (are you a she?)

I have a friend with that problem and I was oblivious to it until we went on a long road trip - I felt really sorry for her because she was very anxious about always knowing when the next loo would be available. She uses these gel packs for emergencies:

www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/disposable-urine-bags-with-gel-500ml-pack-of-2.html

Good luck with your trip.

Ahead of time plot the services that you can stop at, say every 50 miles, this might reduce the anxiety.

Wear pull-up incontinence pants and take a few spares - they're quite absorbent and will give you confidence.

Try TravelJohn Unisex disposable urine pack, they look easy to use and are gel filled so no spillage.

shewee !

Thanks grannyknot, Im a she. I feel sorry for your friend. Thanks for the link to the bags. That's one idea anyway. Much appreciated. :-)

Hi Riverwalk, Thanks for that idea too. Will have to plot the services that we can stop at before we set off. I will remember that. And yes I already wear Tena Pants if I leave the house . Thanks again. I appreciate your comments.

Thanks tanith, I will look for the TravelJohn on Google. I appreciate your idea.

Our local pound shop sell soft plastic she wees for ...drum roll, of course one pound. I just bought one for a friend who i hope will be pleased!! I understand they are very useful, washable and reusable.

Thanks grannylyn65 and Mrs Jamjam for the Shewee idea. Is it really possible to use them without getting out of the car? I will look for them on Google. Thanks again.

Hi silverlining48, That sounds very interesting! I will have to have a look in the pounds hip here and see if they have anything similar. Thanks for telling me.

I have a she-wee but I don't think it would be possible to use it sitting down and of course you still have the problem of collecting the wee.

I'd go with the pads option if I were in your position

Hi Oriel, Thanks for your reply. Seen the Shewees now and yes they look like they would be difficult to use whilst sitting down. I could come up with plenty of containers to collect the wee in though.
I do wear Tena Pants when I go out now, just in case. But I am still nervous they would leak in the event of an accident. That's how nervous I am of all this. Having said that, another idea may be to get some Tena Pants for the journey that are more absorbent and wear trousers that aren't so tight for a few days. I usually wear jeggings that are quite tight and the Tena Discreet are comfortable and can't be seen under them. But that wouldn't be the case with the more absorbent Tena. Also I could still get my self a Shewee because following my two hip replacements, I don't find it easy squatting down. Usually I would just get out of the car in a quiet spot and squat down behind a tree for a wee. But I can't do that so easily now. So a Shewee would be ideal for those instances should we be able to pull up the car in a quiet place.

I forgot to add that I have never actually had an accident. But to cut a very long story short, I had a very sudden, severe, painful and terrifying urgency episode in town last summer that was extremely upsetting and very frightening. Town was crowded and I thought that was it. I was so scared you would think a gun was being held at my head. It was a 3 minute walk to the ladies and it felt more like 300 miles. So shaken up. How I reached the ladies on time, I don't know but I did. I've not been the same since. Think it impacted on me psychologically because I have been obsessed with being near toilets whenever I go out, ever since. I have avoided all sorts because of it. Really haven't been myself since that day. Seen Doc, Urologist and Bladder Nurse and they all say everything is ok. However I am still suffering Vaginal Atrophy that includes uretheral soreness and feelings of urgency that seem to be triggered by the soreness - my bladder is numb since the episode in town.
Interesting thing is, I never get the urgency whilst at home or when I am near a loo. So that shows its mostly an anxiety thing. I've been for CBT but wasn't amused when the therapist said we are all dying to wee from time to time, implying I was over reacting! I said yes of course we have all been in that situation but it's nothing compared to these urgency feelings which are 1000 times worse and are on your mind before you leave the house and if someone suggests going somewhere or doing something.
So you can see this has really upset me and I get up every morning feeling slightly sick thinking I've got to face this problem yet another day. I just want to be who I was before all this started. I am seriously wondering if I will ever be back to who I was before though and this is really impacting on my life. I'm taking 5HTP for the anxiety. Been on it two weeks but seen no change in myself as yet. :-(

BasilCat; I was exactly the same last year. Suffering from atrophy [but didn't know it at the time; didn't realise that there was a link to that and needed to get up for a wee several times each night and needing the loo urgently when out walking or travelling]. After a couple of incidents which involved being stuck in several traffic jams within a short space of time [the last one being on a motorway where the traffic was channelled into the centre of the motorway so we couldn't even pull up onto the hard shoulder] I bought a sheewee and some of the gel filled bags that they also sell. Started wearing the thickest Tena Lady possible whenever I'm out and about. And sorted out the atrophy by using Replens. Also switched to decaffeinated drinks. Just having the sheewee in the car with the bags means I don't get anxious. I've always suffered from 'key in door' syndrome as well and I feel much better wearing leggings as I can rush into the house and not have to bother with zips etc. When travelling last year we pulled into a supermarket where I knew there was a loo; it was at the far end of the shop and when I got there it was out of order; my whole life flashed before me; thankfully I managed to get to the nearest public toilets which weren't far away but, not knowing the town I had no idea where they were at first. I also take d Mannose sometimes after a couple of unpleasant bouts of cystitis; antibiotics cleared them up but when I thought it was kicking in again I took some for a few days and now just have some every few weeks [I buy the powder version that you put in water but you can get tablets]. I always sit at the end of the row when at the theatre or cinema, but still dread bus journeys of any kind. I'm sure that, by doing several things as a precaution you'll get your confidence back, because it's the fear of what 'might' happen that's causing it. I understand totally how you feel about it; your therapist was probably trying to be reassuring but she obviously has never been in that situation!

Hi Tegan2, Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear you were the same last year too. It's murder isn't it having the urgency feelings when out and about. I think that traffic jams are one of the worst things to deal with when it comes to urgency so I can see why you got the Sheewee and the bags. Is it really possible to use a Shewee in the car whilst sitting down though? I can see why you would buy the thickest Tena possible too. I have been wearing the Discreet ones, think I said earlier. But I got some thicker ones earlier today for the weekend trip to my brother's or even if my friend wants me to go shopping in Preston 17 miles away with her one day soon. I have tried Replens but it didn't help. And I have drank decaffeinated tea and coffee for as long as I can remember because of all this. And yes I can imagine that just having the Shewee in the car takes away some of the anxiety. Sorry to hear you have suffered "Key in the door" syndrome too. I have heard of other people who suffer with that. Do you find that you don't drink "Too much" before going out? And if you have a drink whilst out, you only have a small drink? I have had similar incidents with loos in Supermarkets etc. Such an awful feeling to find them closed isn't it. Know just how you felt. Not easy not getting into a panic when those things happen. You did well to find another loo before it was too late. Yep I have got D -Mannose as well. Was just wondering if it would help the soreness in my urethera. I've not got cystitis though I have had it before today. Was going to get some of the tablets but not sure they will help me in this instance. And yes I always sit where I can escape easily to the loo too when I am in restaurant's etc. And no way could I make a bus journey the way I am. I would dread them too. Want to go on the bus to Liverpool but it's not an option right now. So I understand you dreading bus Journeys. Yes it is the fear of what might happen that is causing the anxiety and bringing the urgency episodes on isn't it. I have been in town this morning to Morrison's that is only 10 minutes drive from me and of course there is a loo there. Went to McDonald's too for an hot chocolate. Had to go to loo before I left. Find I go to the loo "Just in case" probobly too often. Then I had 10 mins in Matalan near by. Coped ok till I got in the car and remembered there is a really bad road works near our house so very likely traffic queues. Straight away I could feel the urge to wee (In my urethera) building up, not to mention the soreness and burning. Anyway I tried to talk myself through it and told myself it was only the anxiety and I didn't really need to wee as I had been only 15 minutes earlier. After a shorter wait than expected I got back to the house. Thought I would be dashing straight to the loo but whilst it was approx 12.30pm when I got home, I didn't go to the loo till 3pm!!! The urgency feelings vanished when I got home. So frustrating. Thanks for understanding how I feel about all this. Not many people do. You are right, perhaps the therapist was trying to be understanding but no way has she had an urgency episode. The episode I had this morning hadn't reached full urgency but I felt I still needed the loo sooner rather than later and it's that feeling I got this morning that has lead to urgency before today. So best to get to the loo asap. Yet the feeling died once at home! Thanks for listening. I have no friends or relatives who understand how upsetting this is and they wonder why I am too scared to do normal things. Have even avoided a funeral because of this. But yes if I take precautions so to speak, my confidence should come back shouldn't it. Thanks again. BC

Forgot to add Tegan2 that I suffer a lot of vaginal soreness and uretheral soreness even without the urgency episodes. I can be sat here at home and I'm burning in one place or the other. I am on Vagifem for the vaginal soreness. I had some cream for the uretheral/vulva soreness but could only use that for a week. It did help a bit during the week that I used it but now the burning and soreness is returning. I had never heard of Vaginal Atrophy before I got it. I've had it for 3 years now and I wish to god I had never heard of it now. The urgency is the pits isnt it. I've had frequency too but that was a while ago. BC

I carry a popaloo: www.popaloo.co.uk just in case
I'm trying to get access to more toilet facilities when out and about and am encouraging action groups who, I'm pleased to say, have had some success. Many of us worry about travelling because of the paucity of toilets and many of us have 'invisible' disabilities but few of us do something about the situation.

The she wee i mentioned from poundland is perfect for avoiding squatting. A friend is a walker and often gets caught out and being over 70 finds squatting awkward. So i was in the shop looking at it and a man nearby said his girlfriend has one and they wee into hedges at the same time.....which was perhaps more info than required. However it does work and Perhaps a container in the car...?
And at a pound...bargain. Am tempted to get one for myself. Good luck and hope things improve for you.

Thanks for that idea goldengirl. Will have a look at that. Is it something you can actually use inside the car? Glad to hear the action groups you mention have had some success. You are right, many of us do have hidden disabilities. And I must admit Ive not done anything about it either. But it's a very good point when all said and done. Thanks again.

Hi silverlining48, Thanks for your message. Yes the Shewee is ideal for your friend isn't it and it would be for me too if we were somewhere I could use it outside. I agree though, the man in the shop gave too much information didn't he. Yes it would need a container in the car wouldn't it. I wonder though if it would be a bit awkward to get it into the right position whilst sitting in the car though. Definitely worth looking at though when it's only £1. Thanks for your kind words. I hope things soon improve too. Been like this a year now and missed all sorts because of it. Missing the major event in town at the end of the week too. It's the Flowershow. Missed it last year for the same reason too. :-( Want to go but daren't. There are thousands of people there. Can't risk an urgency episode!! :-(

Apparently it is possible to use it in the car as it isnt necessary to remove clothes....you just need a container. Jam jar...?

Regarding the she-wee and not removing clothes.

I have one and I can't imagine how it could be possible to use one sitting down and, whilst you don't actually have to remove clothing, you do need to unzip your jeans/trousers, lower them slightly and pull your pants to one side, position said implement accurately into place and then wee. Obviously if you were sitting down the spout would be pointing up so how would you catch anything - you'd more than likely end up soaking wet.

The whole purpose of the she-wee is for use when standing up so you can pee like a man. It is fine if you can get out of the car but totally useless when sitting in a car... unless you're a contortionist!

Hi goldengirl, I have now been in touch with Popaloo and they have said their product isn't for use in a car. I wondered if it was a very shallow loo bowl with a sort of seat on it that you could use on a car seat. But evidently not. Thanks for the idea anyway.