Vaguely disgruntled

We occasionally get invited to a barbecue by people we don't know but we don't go because somebody warned me about their hidden agenda. We are not churchgoers and we don't want to go to bible study.
So, yes, I would have felt very disgruntled also and I think you handled the situation very well.

It was pulling people in on false pretences. I'm afraid they would probably have regretted having me there. I am an atheist and more than happy to calmly debate the issues of religion. I would have calmly and even with a friendly air, challenged their beliefs!

Eglantine19

Be afraid......be very afraid! It's not religious fundamentalism we should be wary of...they are up front and conspicuous. It's the sneaky, underhand, middle English ladies of christianity! I'm an atheist and have been since my rational and reasoning mind ' kicked in' at about 15/16 years of age. I would never let my own children or my grandchildren anywhere near these awful people. I don't go around 'peddling' atheism and don't push it down anyone's throat.... but if I wanted to it would be accompanied by tea and cake.Always be wary of middle-of-the-road where religion is concerned... they're corrosive!

Of course, they do say that 'there is no such thing as a free lunch' perhaps that applies to cake as well.
Glad that you took it all in good part Eglantine19

Not the way to behave being christians you think that they would have mentioned it beforehand.

You were quite right in feeling 'used'. It annoys me to think of some religious groups or should I say 'cults' assuming that their beliefs give them the right to 'save' anyone not of their ilk. I'm talking of Christian groups here but they are still fundamentalists/extremists, call them what you will. I suspect that the tea party group in this case belonged to one of the newer 'churches' - they seem to hone in on the vulnerable (not implying that Eglantine19 is of course). Some of their tactics are not far off brainwashing, and always seem to have been founded by some enlightened person now living a life of luxury. Very unedifying.

It's funny, I was reading a guide for new university students recently and it said the ones who invite you round for a coffee for no particular reason will usually turn out to be the evangelical Christians. This happened to me 45+ years ago and there was no clue till you got there and they all started talking about the Christian Union. Their justification, I think, would be that they should use any opportunity to evangelize because its for people's own good.

Those who feel this is acceptable, might I ask how you might feel if the sting at the end related to JW, Islam, Buddhism, fundamentalist creationism, paganism etc etc.? - i.e. anything but a relatively benign variant of Christianity.

Even as a practising Christian this sort of thing makes me horribly uncomfortable. I agree it is a dreadfully sneaky way to behave. If you had been invited openly to a tea party cum prayer meeting, you could have said no thanks, or asked if it was all right if you left before the evangelising started.

I suppose your hostess and her like minded friends see this kind of behaviour as a way of doing their Christian duty. Frankly I think they are going the wrong way to work, but that is just my opinion.

I have actually not only had this kind of sneaky behaviour from various people of different religious observations, but also from politically minded acquaintances or complete strangers for that matter, h*ll bent on enrolling me in a political party that I would never dream of considering.

There is only one thing to do, leave and according to temperament either thank the hostess politely or give vent to the fact that you feel an attempt has been made to con you.

I think the evangelising under the guile of a tea party was underhand, I'd have been cross to have been invited to an event under false pretences. I'm a practising Catholic, I'm in a Bible group that meets from time to time for short courses of 4 to 6 weeks but I would never try to get people to come to it under false pretences. Were there any recruits for the Bible group?

If they'd said before had that there would be a bit of a discussion about the bible it would have been fine. I could cope happily with that. I love a good discussion. But it was underhand and that I don't like, I'd have felt betrayed.

(I'm a sort of agnostic Christian with Budist leanings and a touch of pagan. In other words, I live as good a life as I can and I'll find out when I get there. If I get anywhere.)

Yes, looking at things from the other side... I wonder how they decided on likely candidates.

They must have spent hours planning their sting. Seating to be decided, positioning of the plant who was suddenly going to 'share all' , the pre-arranged signal of the leaflet drop. Such a smooth outfit!

Its hilarious!

Well, like I said a few posts ago it was probably my ego that took a bashing. I suppose I wondered whether friend actually likes my company or just sees me as a soul to be saved. And felt that somehow I and the other ladies must have been the subject of some discussion to decide who to invite. Weird how things can touch on your own insecurities!
I don't think the other ladies on my table knew either. Our conversation had trended much more towards Phoenixtype subjects!
However, once assorted members of GN had made me laugh I was soothed as requested! The cake was excellent after all and it could have been Timeshare!

Like Carol954 I'm a practising Catholic. My faith is central to my life and I love to discuss questions of belief and the meaning of life with others when the occasion naturally arises in the course of conversation. But I'm very uncomfortable with attempts like these to evangelise under false pretences, however well-intentioned. You should have been told in advance the nature of the occasion, though it's possible that the information wasn't passed on to you by mistake. I think it would be good if you could give the organiser(s) your feedback. It might help them to rethink their approach to any future events and make you feel better about the whole thing.

I would have just enjoyed the cake and allowed everyone their opinions. I don't 'do' religion but have friends who do so I try to live and let live without getting into heated discussions. Anything with cake can't be all bad.

I would have been annoyed too , why do these people think it is OK to push their beliefs onto others ? I am an Atheist and would have told them what I thought in no uncertain terms .

I'm with adaunas. You enjoyed most of it so that's good. I'm a practising Catholic and this evangelising tactic doesn't appeal to me in the least but I don't think I'd feel used by it. Just tell your friend you don't want to be invited to any more of these gatherings.

Absolute cheek, I would have made my excuses and left. How rude not to tell you at the time of asking, devious to say the least.

I can't say I'd feel upset. It's not like they compelled you to do anything, but there again, I don't find people talking about their faith objectionable. Yes, you could have been warned but in actual fact, it could have been an opportunity to meet up with others and possibly find a common interest. I've found that at similar gatherings whether I decided to go to the Bible Study sessions or not.
Amway products-that's a different matter. Pyramid selling is evil and we were invited by a 'friend' to an 'evening get together with friends' where the sales pitch started almost as soon as we got in through the door, with the message that 'they felt we were the sort of people who would like to improve our lives and those of others'. We politely said that the best way we could do that was to leave, and warn others about the dangers involved, and left. The 'friend' took offence and cut us from her list - no great loss.

How sneaky, I would have felt used.

Friends of ours are evangelical Christians and they do try to proselytize. They've given up on us and DH has taken to wearing a Thor's Hammer.

Phoenix
I'm howling with laughter. Made my day ?

I like the word disgruntled.?

Just what I thought too catlover123 and in fact perhaps everybody bar the OP actually knew about it.It was up to the aqaintance who did the inviting to tell you about the Christian aspect of the day, and she certainly should have done.
I enjoy listening to all talks and on different faiths too, so would have found it interesting, but would have said no thank you to invitations to bible study groups.

like the last two ladies I too am a Christian and find it unacceptable not to be forewarned, although I do find some folks reactions a bit extreme. I'm sure that the motives of the church ladies were good and maybe the message about the event was not passed on? It sounded like rather a gentle evangelising occasion, as Eglantine says she was asked 'nicely'. I wouldn't feel used Eglantine, but I agree with someone else that maybe you should go back and explain your feelings. I'm glad you enjoyed most of the occasion.

I too am a Christian but would never do this, although I know one or two people who probably would. Parties at our house just mean good food, plenty of booze and hopefully good company