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Vaguely disgruntled

(133 Posts)
Eglantine19 Wed 30-Aug-17 16:59:09

Over the weekend I was invited to a tea party by an acquaintance, a friend of a friend. It was a lovely day, we were on the lawn, three tables of six, chatting about all sorts of things.
Then after a while some little leaflets were deposited on the table, inviting us to join a Bible study group. One of the ladies on each table talked to their table about what their faith meant to them, five minutes maximum.
On leaving I was asked again very nicely if I would like to come to the Bible Study. I said no and thank you for a lovely time and off I went.
It was all very gently done. So why am I feeling a bit - used, I think is the word. I need one of you to soothe me over!

norose4 Wed 30-Aug-17 17:07:26

I would say stay 'ruffled' Eglantine19 it was a surreptitious way of reeling innocent people in on the pretext of a get together in order to push their own agenda , shamefuly decitful & all in the name of Christianity ! They surely should have been open about it !

Oriel Wed 30-Aug-17 17:17:08

I would have felt very annoyed and I'm afraid I would have got up and left once I realised what they planned to do to. I certainly would not have stayed to listen to what they had to say. I think it was a very underhand, deceitful way of behaving.

tanith Wed 30-Aug-17 17:17:34

Something similar happened when we had a GN coffee meet up one particular seemed to be recruiting for some group or other can't even remember what it was but it wasn't well received by most people, she never returned as far as I know. I would feel as you do too.

Katek Wed 30-Aug-17 17:24:57

That's a bit sneaky-think I would feel taken advantage of, conned almost.

lemongrove Wed 30-Aug-17 17:29:52

Perhaps they thought you shared their faith/religious feelings? It should have been mentioned when you were invited though, as long as the aqaintance knew about it.
Still, you did say that you had a nice chatty time.

Oriel Wed 30-Aug-17 17:36:43

It doesn't sound as if they thought their religious views were shared by the invitees... why would they have shared what their religion meant to them?

It appears to be nothing other than a recruitment drive and a very deceitful one at that. All done by the good ladies of the church in a genteel way which, in my view, makes it worse.

BlueBelle Wed 30-Aug-17 17:37:21

I would have wished everyone well and made my excuses to leave it's sneaky and I wouldn't like that at all They didn't want your company or your friendship they wanted to recruit you Bad taste indeed

Eglantine19 Wed 30-Aug-17 17:37:46

Yes, I did have a nice time. And it wasn't at all pushy. But I am "ruffled" as no rose says and can't quite work out why. It's comforting to know others would be a bit put out too but I wondered if there was someone out there who could give me the viewpoint from the other side.

Oriel Wed 30-Aug-17 17:42:30

The other side? Do you mean what would have motivated those women to behave in the way they did?

BlueBelle Wed 30-Aug-17 17:43:40

Well you may not get anything from ' the other side' because it is so obvious that there really doesn't seem any defence for a sneaky recruitment I would acknowledge that you feel used and allow yourself to feel annoyed ...it's justified

Luckygirl Wed 30-Aug-17 17:45:16

Well I would have been more than ruffled and would have had no trouble at all working out why. This is manipulation pure and simple.

If the person who invited you had made it clear from the start that this is what it was all about, then you could have made the choice to go or not to go - I find this very sneaky and deceitful.

I would have left when things moved on to the evangelizing phase - politely saying that I had had a lovely time and many thanks for that, but as an agnostic I would not wish to participate further.

The view from the other side would no doubt be that this was a benign and kindly attempt to save you; but I see it as disrespectful.

Riverwalk Wed 30-Aug-17 17:57:33

Something similar happened when we had a GN coffee meet up one particular seemed to be recruiting for some group or other can't even remember what it was but it wasn't well received by most people, she never returned as far as I know. I would feel as you do too.

Tanith this is why I never respond to threads on London meet-ups ...... I'm all for meeting members that I 'know' from my time on GN, or for meeting total strangers at a national convention/conference ... but I'm not interested in having a small get-together with 'total' strangers who have never posted but all of a sudden want to meet up.

Call me strange. hmm

annsixty Wed 30-Aug-17 17:59:07

I would have been very cross and would definitely have felt let down by the friend who was responsible for the invite.
Many years ago we were invited by friends to a meal at friends of theirs.
Afterwards we all received letters inviting us to invest in a Ponzi type scheme.
Our own friends were mortified as they had no idea and I don't think they remained friends for long.

norose4 Wed 30-Aug-17 18:08:02

Well I suppose the ' other side' would see it as doing their duty by spreading the word, saving souls & making conversions by any means necessary. They must be aware that people do not like this hence the decisions to be devious, so it's really the same frailties of human nature that we all share, sadly your friend would have gained more respect from you & perhaps even an interest in hearing her views if she had been honest & open about it. It's sort of sad & funny at the same time, & they always mean well don't they!!

Eglantine19 Wed 30-Aug-17 18:08:49

Oh dear, annsixty. So it could have been worse! Actually that made me laugh. I feel better now.

norose4 Wed 30-Aug-17 18:11:17

Anyone remember Pyramid selling, another form of brainwashing !

MawBroon Wed 30-Aug-17 18:15:39

You have beaten me to it norose!!!

norose4 Wed 30-Aug-17 18:18:57

Lol 😄was awful wasn't it

Oriel Wed 30-Aug-17 18:23:54

The ladies from the church would probably be horrified if other purveyors of goods and schemes employed the same tactics as they did. Yet I expect they feel really virtuous... only religion would make an otherwise inoffensive and honest person feel its justified to behave in such an deceitful way. I expect the local church has a recruitment drive underway and probably the next step would be an invite to an Alpha Course.

It all seems so nice, so innocent... a tea party on the lawn! Whatever next?

norose4 Wed 30-Aug-17 18:26:25

Brilliant Oriel 👍

NfkDumpling Wed 30-Aug-17 18:32:09

I think I would have felt rather awkward, foolish and embarrassed at being conned. I certainly wouldn't want much to do with the aquaintance again. What does your mutual friend think?

Eloethan Wed 30-Aug-17 18:41:04

I would have been annoyed - and I think such initiatives are counter-productive.

It reminds me of the time we were invited round for a meal at the house of a newly married couple who were not really close friends but acquaitances - we were actually more friendly with their parents. Having finished the meal, we were then given a sales pitch for becoming representatives of Amway products (I think they got commission through recruiting new sales people and selling "started packs") . We thought it was a real cheek.

I find it strange that people are trying to peddle a religious belief in the same way as they would a cleaning product. It demeans the religion and, in my opinion, is absolutely guaranteed to bring it into disrepute.

annsixty Wed 30-Aug-17 18:43:02

I did mean Pyramid selling when I reffered to a Ponzi scheme. It really was an awful scam.

phoenix Wed 30-Aug-17 18:45:59

It does sound somewhat deceitful and underhand.

At least if you are invited to an Ann Summers party you know what to expect!

(Sorry, I am now imaging a scene with people sitting around in summer frocks {love that word, "frock"} politely chatting over the tea and scones, when someone suddenly comes around and "discretely" deposits various sex toys on the table, while the hostess of each tables extols the virtues of each item)

Yes, I know, I'll get me coat, as the phrase used to go! grin