Vaguely disgruntled

I am a Christian but find this unacceptable and wouldn't be. Party to it. If people are invited to something in a church they know what is involved and are free to accept or refuse. But a tea party is different. Is it possible that your friend knew what was planned and did not pass it on?

You will know for next time. I hate being invited in the hope that I will convert /sponsor / purchase but that is life.

Sarah

Yes, folk find solace in lots of things that's fine when they keep it to themselves. What isn't fine is when they try to impart their comforting experiences onto other people whether they like it or not.

I don't understand what you mean about infected minds. Are you referring to religious extremists?

Not exactly "Christian" behaviour to invite you to what you were led to believe was a purely social occasion, and then to be subjected to what was in fact a form of marketing, albeit both religious and soft-sell. You were lured there under false pretences, and I personally would be quite angry about that, and would have left before the "message" was delivered. Very bad form.

Oriel Many folk get comfort from religion. Only when it becomes an obsession, and far removed from its intentions does it become dangerous but then hadn't the mind already been infected by other sources to allow this to happen? So why blame religion.

As this get together was organised by a' friend' of a friend
was your friend also present.?
Whether she was or not I would be inclined to ask her if she was aware of what the motive was as it appears to me there was a motive for this tea partyt

quizqueen That's an interesting point of view. Why do you think the world would be worse off without religion?

I am too an atheist and I believe that the world would be an infinitely better place without any religion at all. You don't need a faith to have a moral compass, despite what many faiths would have you believe. Words can't describe how truly magnificent the world is and you don't need religion to have a deep appreciation of it.

You also don't need religion to hold meaningful weddings, funerals or any other celebrations.

I would have spoken my mind and said "If you had told me this was a Bible Study recruitment drive I wouldn't have come. I think religion is irrational and divisive and hope society will become more secular! You have wasted your hospitality on me."

That was to Eglantine and anyone else who's been in that sort of awkward situation.

Disgraceful, would have wanted the courage to walk out.
Did any of the other invitees express their shock or displeasure ?

A few years ago now, a new C of E vicar arrived in our small town, and set his congregation off to 'evangilise'. Two of my good friends overnight turned every lunch, every trip out, into a constant attempt to get me to go to their church. It was painful for me, as I didnt want to be rude, and I thought embarassing for them.
2 years into the new vicars 'posting', he got moved, suddenly. He had caused a lot of upset, halved his congregation and caused a lot of upset.

I now see my friend for lunch regularly again, she never mentions her church.

Churches as a sentimental tradition??

I am a Christian and a church goer. I cringed when I read your post. Of course people should have been told beforehand. Maybe something like: we're getting a group of friends together for a chat/nice afternoon and there will be a 5 minute talk and an invite, if anyone's interested, but there will be no pressure at all. It may be that your particular invitee forgot to mention that but others were told? I'm glad that you had a nice time but. like you, I would have felt I was invited under false pretences if nothing was said beforehand.
I agree with pp who said it would be a good idea if you gave some feedback on how your felt - probably helpful for all concerned.
Also thank you to quizqueen's post too .. an important point I think.

It sounds a bit like the 'time share' days out from years ago. One minute you're enjoying a drink and some nibbles, overlooking the sea, the next you've bought 2 weeks in the Costa Brava every October!

He in VERY rural France we have two women JW who call to see my husband - mother and daughter. Had I spoken to them the first time they came they would never have darkened our door again but DH is too nice to them and is always up for a chat! They do not talk about religious things and I think they use him to up their quota for the month. I never go out to see them - just hide indoors!
We have our religion and do from time to time go to church together and I have suggested he tells them this but he has so far not done so.

That crowd had some brass neck assuming that a) you had spare time to give to their cause and b) you were remotely interested.

You're right to be ruffled, it makes you wise after the event! It makes you question the integrity of folk who think its reasonable to act in the way they did.

Hope your next invitations are genuinely great fun. x

I'm an atheist but my mantra is - if you don't use it , you'll lose it- and what it will be replaced with will truly be far worse. Think about that before you criticise. I've just been to a lovely Christening in a C of E church for my second granddaughter. It didn't make me believe or want to attend church other than for special occasions but it made me remember to appreciate the tradition of it .

Yes I would have been peeved. I would have politely said it was not for me & left. I would also tell 'friend' that although it was a nice afternoon I would have appreciated fore-knowledge that I would be preached at.

Years ago my husband and I were invited to supper with people he knew from work. To our surprise they started doing an Amway demonstration. They weren't even embarrassed that they'd hoodwinked us. By the way, Amway is a cleaning range.

Trust your instincts. If you felt you were being used you were and on the evidence you have provided it was certainly 'tea with strings'.

I'd think twice about joining any group which had to resort to such tactics.

Beware 'nice' people.

Very sneaky, but so many religious people are so obsessed with their religion that they just can't accept others lack of interest. I would have stated at the time that I am an atheist and not the least bit interested. I have a very close friend who has found religion after a traumatic time. She asked me to go to church with her just once, which I did, then she just accepts that it all just means nothing to me.

Religion is a strange subject to talk about and some people think it's a subject that should not be talked about. However, it's part of people's lives and why shouldn't they talk about it, if they feel strong about it. Some faiths, feel the need to share their love of it as I suppose, they perhaps they want you to join their happiness and not harmful in anyway. I presume everyone at the tea party were adults and therefore, if it's not for you, then you enjoyed the feast and perhaps the company with no harm done as they are only showing you their love of a subject.

Agree with you - and I do go to church. As it was clearly 'the point' of the little garden party, you should have been told earlier. I often am invited or go to, events that are fun but also for some cause or other - but it is always made clear what the set up is. Your time and good will have been exploited. You need to let 'them' know how you feel about this. I don't believe it can really be an effective way of bringing people into faith - more likely to put them off.

The problem is that the tea party is not what it seemed and that a Christian group, who should have embraced honesty and transparency, used it to try to convert people. It was dishonest and underhand and unworthy of them.

You had a lovely time with lovely people. You enjoyed it & you chose not to go again. Sorry, I don't see a problem. Everyone is different.