How to get on with Grandsons

I would first say to them 'why are you being mean to me'? Depending on the answer tell them what you think and that no one will enjoy their company if they can't be kind. They are at the 'testing boundaries' age and need to be told.
Whether you tell your daughter really depends on what she is like.
Is she likely to just defend them? If so, you will just feel worse and the boys will have been emboldened.
If she is likely to 'have a word' with them about it, then telling her might be best.
If you go to her first though, they will just see you as someone who tells tales behind their backs (a cardinal sin so far as children are concerned).

This was on Ask a Gran not so long ago. I see the visit isn't until January. Kids grow up and get a bit more sense. See how they behave when you get there and deal with it then. Loads of advice on both threads for you so choose the approach you think is best.

Next time they say something nasty. Let them know that you have recorded it on your phone and if it happens again, you will play it to their parents and let them decide the consequences.

I hope they have grown out of this behaviour before your visit, Aussies are outspoken generally, and come out with some amazing things, so maybe the boys dont realise they are being rude. Stand up to them, they are probably used to this, above all have a lovely time in Australia, and forget any rudeness around you while you are there.
Have a safe trip.

Monica your response is spot on and if you need a backup plan seaside then coconut's idea is good too.
Never mind the different culture, banter, they're young etc or any other excuse for nasty behaviour just tackle them head on! Good luck.

I play the fool with my grandchildren to amuse them, and say 'I'm yer mad granny' - they generally appreciate the effort!

Having being there I concur wktk Stkilda!?

It can work the other way too. My mum told my son "I don't like men with bald heads" when he shaved his head, and "I don't like men with beards" when he grew a beard. Then she wondered why he stopped wanting to visit.

Aussies have a reputation for straight talking and telling it how (they think) it is. It's part of the culture along with banter and sledging but can definitely come across as rude.
If they're saying 'Jeez, Gran you've got a bit fat,' (or similar) then you tell then straight back. 'Don't be so rude/cheeky, young man. You're not so skinny yourself. '
Or whatever is appropriate to the situation.
I think you're going to have to be a bit more robust with them. Otherwise they're going to walk all over you.

You should stop this now before it becomes a genuinely entrenched way of behaving. If your grandsons believe they can speak to you rudely, they will transfer that behaviour elsewhere and eventually get themselves into trouble, or at least, find it hard to make friends. My advice would be simultaneously to raise the issue with your daughter, and with them, pointing out that you have travelled a long way and at some expense to spend quality time with them, and making specific reference to the kinds of hurtful comments they make. There's absolutely no excuse for them at that age.

Can you "accidentally" leave your phone on record and then let your daughter hear what they say ?

I find it strange that children would be deliberately rude unless provoked. I might well be wrong so I apologise in advance if I am, but generally children are reactivd rather than proactive.

I'd be interested to know rxactly what was said on both sides before offering advice - again.

seasidelady. I see no mention of a SIl.
What is not unusual if no man ie husband and the childrens' father, is with your daughter then children as they get older especially boys can be very protective of their mother and I could be wrong but this bad behaviour on the part of your grandsons which is not acceptable is that they are, plain and simply, jealous of you and the bond that you have with your daughter.
If it were me I would have to say something to daughter about this silly behaviour as I am sure she would not want this to continue and spoil your visit.
If your daughter is a single parent I dread to think should she ever have a relationship with another how these silly boys would react to that.
Say something before it goes any further.
Let your daughter deal with it.

I would simply tell the children that what they had said was extremely rude and you won't put up with it. Threaten to tell their mother if they did it again. Of course some things are better dealt with by humour - if they say you look like a witch simply say you are one and will put a spell on them unless they mend their manners. ?

Anya. Then you know very little what goes on in the mind of a child.
Another human being from across the world entering their world taking their ?parent's attention away from them ?oh dear ! can bring the green eyed monster to the surface which is more than likely what is happening in this instance.

What sort of things do they say?

One of my darling grandsons said -Grandad's tummy is bigger than yours - love him!

sarahellen don't be so silly. I know more than most how children think. There are usually two sides to a problem and I've seen many times how rude some of 'our generation' can be in the way they talk to children and how unrealistic their expectations are. It can provoke today's children into a negative response.

You seem think it's all one sided - that's rarely the case.

Use your phone to record their behaviour towards you.

You may have unintentionally rubbed these boys up the wrong way. Maybe by giving all your attention to your daughter or by your daughter giving you a lot of attention. My feeling is that there is a bit of jealousy here. So before you, "face up" to them or tell their Mother, I would try to "bond" with these boys more.
Ask their Mum what sort of things they are in to and tell her you want to get them a nice present each. They are all into these gaming things so maybe you could ask their Mother to get Gift Vouchers for their local Gaming Shop and pay her when you get there. Or whatever their sport is, Surfing etc. get them something to do with that, or some really "cool" trainers.
Make a fuss of them, ask them about their online games and ask if you can watch for a bit while they play them. Ask them about their Sports and their achievements and praise them. Ask if you could come to watch if they're doing any sports. Tell them how grown up they are now.
If they say something a bit close to the bone, say something like, "you cheeky little Monkeys" and laugh. It's hard to be nasty with someone who is being so nice and you could disarm them.
Make a real effort with them and if all this dosn't work then I would tell them in no uncertain terms that you find them rude and obnoxious and to "back off".
If they continue to bully after this, tell their Mother to sort them out.

Since Aussies are apparently so blunt, I would bluntly tell them to pack it in, in no uncertain terms. They should understand that. Its unacceptable.

I totally agree with Anya kids aren't normally nasty unless told off of told to do something they don't want to I m really wondering if it's as bad as they sound many seaside isn't used to kids talk
Seaside can't you come back and give us some examples or else this thread is pointless How well do you know them ? What do they say? Do they talk to each other the same way? Does their mum reprimand them or think it funny? are they just repeating what a parent has said? Do you visit often or is it a one off ?
What one person finds hurtful might not bother another so we have nothing to go on

How old are they and what do they say to you?

Just read the original thread posted in a July and she says the call her a witch and ask why she's staying so long, but at other times they're lovely.

Seasidelady didn't come back and respond to suggestions.

OK if she wants advice ....if my grandchildren called me a witch, I'd assume a witch-like pose and voice and chase them around the house cackling. If they asked why I was staying so long I'd say because it's because I want to see them all and it's a bloody long way to come just for a short visit.

And if I thought there was any malice in their remarks, I's bring them up in an innocent, joking way at the dinner table and watch them squirm ?

They are 10 & 12 - it says so in the OP!