Splitting the Costs

I have an ex friend, you notice I say ex She would take it one step further than instances mentioned above.
When we went out for an evening where we usually had a meal she would slurp back the G&Ts while I had soft drinks ( me driving) then we would split the bill!!
She got the heave ho.

My mum was the exception, bless her. I took her shopping twice a week when she was still able and to appointments. She would insist on giving me £10 per wk for fuel and wouldn't take no for an answer, she also frequently paid for our coffees.

I do think a big part of the problem is that people who don't run a car fail to realise the costs involved.ie: petrol/parking/tolls etc the offer to pay towards costs should be made I feel even though it is nearly always refused and if refused you should make the effort to present flowers/lunch etc at a later date.

My friend and I regularly enjoy a ladies day out.
One of us drives, and the other pays for coffee and cake at the destination.
We pay for our own lunches.
As we alternate the driving responsibility, it works very well.

Yes, an offer to pay is as good as actually paying up.
I feel the same as you Nanny123 and would always offer the parking money.
I think older people who never drive ( like a MIL) just don't think! Although they should pay for a meal out if they have stayed a week with you.?

goldengirl I think offering to pay is what it's all about, even if the offer is not accepted.

Oh dear, I feel guilty. I regularly go out to lunch with my friend and she insists on driving. We share the lunch costs but absolutely refuses to allow me to contribute towards petrol costs - not that we go far, but it's the principle. I treat her to lunch when there's a good excuse [she can see right through me!!!] but she's adamant on other occasions to pay her way. I frequently offer to contribute towards fuel [not every time I admit] but the answer is always no thank you. I buy her what I think to be good quality birthday presents - but again hers to me are more imaginative

MiL does exactly the same - sits in the car while I pay for road tolls, get the parking ticket and fill up with petrol. And all this is after a 4 hour round trip when she has enjoyed our hospitality for a week!
As you say, it would be nice if she offered or bought me a coffee at the destination.