Splitting the Costs

That said, it’s nice to scroll down ‘memory lane’ and see the names of posters who used to be regulars. 👋

Such an old OP! Our L’il Miss had just been born …. And she’s in junior school now.

JackyB

Cabbie21

These days so many car parks want you to input your car registration number, or use an app, so it is simpler for the car owner to see to this. Many machines only take cards, and in general, it is harder to get cash. So other ways of thanking drivers are useful eg paying for their meal. But motoring is costly, and if you are using someone’s willingness to drive, a financial recompense is due. Just need to find the best way to do it, and drivers not to be taken for granted.

When this thread started several years ago, cash payment may have been the norm.

Even more so now in November 2024
Do people troll through the threads to see if there’s something they can comment on🤷‍♀️

Gosh this is why I choose not to have many friends it's always take take take. You soon know who your real friends are

Cabbie21

These days so many car parks want you to input your car registration number, or use an app, so it is simpler for the car owner to see to this. Many machines only take cards, and in general, it is harder to get cash. So other ways of thanking drivers are useful eg paying for their meal. But motoring is costly, and if you are using someone’s willingness to drive, a financial recompense is due. Just need to find the best way to do it, and drivers not to be taken for granted.

When this thread started several years ago, cash payment may have been the norm.

Grannyy23 that's a very nice practical gesture.

I have an ex friend who was loaded through inheritance and every time we went out for lunch she wanted me to go halves. She would order surf and turf and drink champagne and I ordered a vegetarian salad and drank water. After a couple of occasions I started to take just the right amount of cash to pay for my £10 meal and no cards. She tried her stunt again for her £25 share and did not have enough money so had to pay for her meal using her card, which surprisingly she did have on her.

When my friend picks me up I don’t ask if I can contribute I just put £20 in the central console and she can decide what she wants to do with it, it saves the arguing.

A friend of a friend who can't drive due to a disability, always leaves a wee bagful of loose change and trolley coins in the car when getting a lift. This seems very acceptable to me.

Some people are just tight - some excessively so. I was having a major whinge to a dd about this yesterday after a friend who’d been staying with us exhibited (to me) unforgivably tight behaviour that made me really cross. She has form for it, though.

Dd says she knows many the same, inc. people who frequently ‘drop in’ uninvited, proceed to drink a couple of glasses of their wine, and never bring a bottle.

Of course I said ‘Don’t offer wine, then, just a cup of tea’ , but she and SiL are both generous and hospitable to a fault, and aren’t likely to change now.

I know someone who used to do that. I'd pick her up, drive to the place, get a parking ticket, pay for lunch - she'd pay for coffee. I eventually got wise to it and suggested I meet her at a place, then I used to arrive early and buy my own lunch. She then had to buy her own. We took turns in buying the coffee.

We went abroad with friends. They drove to the airport. We agreed to share the airport parking costs and split the petrol. IMO the petrol they charged us for was more like the full amount than half.

We went away with them again but in the UK so no airport. We drove. The distance to the airport was around the same as to our UK holiday destination. We went out and about quite a bit in the car whilst we were away. They never offered to pay a penny towards petrol.

Maybe to them it didn't count as we were still in the UK.

A neighbour used to borrow my car to go to church or whatever- usually short trips but they mounted up. Amazingly my car does not run on fresh air so I said something. Now he usually hires a car or gets a minicab!

These days so many car parks want you to input your car registration number, or use an app, so it is simpler for the car owner to see to this. Many machines only take cards, and in general, it is harder to get cash. So other ways of thanking drivers are useful eg paying for their meal. But motoring is costly, and if you are using someone’s willingness to drive, a financial recompense is due. Just need to find the best way to do it, and drivers not to be taken for granted.

Hey.

I had a question regarding friends and paying for parking.

I always pick them up from someone’s house and drive them to places either 15, 20 or 25 minutes away and then back again to that persons house. We all split the parking but I just feel like since I’m driving them around and paying for petrol they should just split it among themselves ?

Cause I am only 19 and I work 2 shifts a week and pay so much for my car and at the end of the day they are not paying money for an Uber or the bus so the least they can do is pay for the parking without me.

How do I tell them this ? I feel awkward bringing it up with them cause I don’t want to seem like I’m greedy or don’t want to pay that $4.

My gripe is more with our children. We do so much to create good times, get them what they ask for, help them out... Only one of or four reciprocates and is kind and gives and doesn't expect. If we go out it's always us who pays the bill. We obviously got something wrong!!

Yes just what grannysue05 says.
When I used to go out walking with a friend it was a case of taking it in turns and the passenger bought the tea and cake .
It is very uncomfortable not to be allowed to contribute when given a lift.

Shame on you if you allow this to happen more than once.

If someone offers money towards the petrol or parking (especially if they don't drive themselves) then why refuse it. It doesn't come for free and if their offers are constantly refused then they may stop offering, not just to you but to others as well. If someone doesn't or can't offer reciprocal arrangements, then I say, 'As I've driven, perhaps you would like to pay for the parking!

I don't drive but always offer to cover at least petrol & parking costs for any lifts I am given. Sometimes it is more appropriate to offer the equivalent of cab fare (I find it more bearable to go out with someone I know rather than a stranger cabbie - I don't go out often!) When there have been periods in my life that I needed more lifts (mainly hospital & doctor's visits) I also paid the bill for one persons new set of tyres and a few repairs on another person's vehicle, as I felt my numerous journeys would've contributed towards the wear & tear of the car. I'm lucky that the few friends I have are willing to give me a lift if they can, and I don't feel so bad for asking if I know I am not costing them money as well as their time and vehicle use (something else I've contribute towards financially when I know someone took a few hours off work to stay with me and give me a lift home too for instance) . I think it just boils down to being considerate.

My mother is the same. She has enjoyed stays at our home over Christmas and weekends over the years. It has always been left to me to pick her up, take her home from events like family weddings and going to hospital appts. Not once has she offered to help with the petrol costs. She lives 25 miles away so mileage runs into more than 50 miles every time, and usually much more.

I decided to stop doing this two years ago as I was beginning to feel resentful. Then, today, my mother tells me she took my sister out to lunch as she had stayed with her for a few days.

For the twenty years I had her stay at ours for weekends and days out, feeding her and giving her a comfortable room well, yes, I feel rather put out. So yes, I understand what you are saying. We all have choices, and I made mine. xx

Perhaps you could say "Bummer, I don't have any change. DO you have £X?" then she would have to pay...
I have to say that someone who is a taker, is no friend. Friendship is mutual and should have "give and take" {NOT as in "you give, I take!"] in whatever form - financial, emotional, time, etc.

Whoever drives when I am out with a friend we always split any parking fee.

Similarly if I go out for lunch with a friend, we would each pay our own bills, not split the total bill between us.

That is the simplest and fairest solution.

Nanny123 - you need to make it clear to your friends that you're happy to drive them somewhere (if that is the case) but in future you would like them to go halves with you if there is a car park charge.

If you don't do this, they could be forgiven for thinking that you don't mind.

We four friends used to go out together and it was the expected thing to leave money on the dashboard towards the cost as a thank you, whoever was driving. All the passengers did it every journey - the same amount - and it was never mentioned. We always shared other costs of the day. That way we didn't need to cover the cost in other ways such as coffee, gifts etc. Not sure whether it would work for you though. I'd just leave it and not have the conversation.

marieeliz Haven't you answered your own question ?and
from the arrangement between you and your friend I believe you have 'cracked it.'
If it makes you feel any better then there is no harm in giving your friend a small gift now and then for being 'who she is' and the fact you both sing from the same song sheet. Friends like this are hard to come by..