I long for a sister

bettyboo I am so sorry you feel the absence of a sister like this. When the relationship is good I am sure it is wonderful, but you may be imagining something very different from how some families turn out.
All I would add is that she is NOT necessarily there for you, sibling rivalry or jealousy is not something sisters grow out of and sadly, what you imagine does not always exist.
My sister lives abroad, was always very jealous of me, was extremely divisive when our parents were alive, left me to organise our father’s funeral, flying home 3 days after he died, moaned and accused me of all sorts (I was his executor) and I do not hear from her for months on end. She not infrequently visits this country with BIL and the first I hear of it is usually a postcard when they are home again. I have grown used to it.

Hi yes people don't unterstand even if you don't get on with your sister or brother they are still there in your life when you don't have any and your parents have gone it's a lonely life

As an only child I always wanted two brothers and a sister and invented them in my head for years. My childhood schoolfriend was the youngest of 5 girls and I always envied the relationship she had with her sisters and though sadly 2 passed away in adulthood I know she is still close to the one directly above her and also her eldest's sisters daughter. My SiL is 3 years younger to me and the nearest I have to a sister but she doesn't live near so we don't see each other often.

I have asked my cousin to meet up for coffee she's not really interested I said the only time I see her is if I go into tescos as she's on checkouts. She don't even want me round her house and we don't live that far but when I see her in tescos she all friendly and how are you so I take it she doesn't want a close relationship

Hi Bettyboo! You mentioned that you had cousin, could you perhaps become closer to her. Maybe you could go out for lunch or a coffee to ask her more about the "brother" and strike up a warmer friendship with her. She is after all a blood relative which is what you seem to be longing for.

I only ever wanted a brother which is what I got. Unfortunately he died last year. When I had a second DD my first thought was poor DD1 has got a sister. I then adopted a boy and we always said had he been someone's first child they would never have had another. He was a miserable baby but he turned into a happy loving boy and man and celebrated his wife 50th birthday last week. My DDs are friends but not really close as they have totally different personalities. Now I have a friend and we consider we are the sisters we never had. Although we live 300 miles apart we are very close and can tell each other things we would never tell anyone else.

speak to older relatives they sometimes will know if there was something like that in the family it could be worth it in the end if you manage to find a BROTHER He too might be feeling as you do you just never know

Speak to her again get some more information from here you will soon know if she is lieing because her story will slightly change Its worth a try

I did try I have nothing to go on I'm 57 years old .How old would the man my brother be is he alive even I looked through my dads things there was nothing there to suggest anything that's why I think she made it up the only name on the registration of birth is mine sad really

I don't think I could resist looking into the possibility of having a half brother betty. Are you tempted at all?

Why would you not believe her why not do a bit of research there could be a brother out there and it would take your mind of being alone for a while

Hi Thank you for your messages yes I feel it really everyday when your a only child and your parents have gone there's a great big hole there and if I had a sister that hole wouldn't be quite so big I know that if I had a sister or brother we would have been close . Not long after my cousin lost her Mum she told me my dad had a son with another woman before he married my mum I'm not sure that I believe her really just not sure why she said it

BettyBoo, I understand how you feel. I used to have a sister. She was 5 years younger than me and, as children, we loathed each other. Fortunately, that changed as we grew up and, although we were very different, we became close as adults. There's something unique about that bond of shared upbringing and parentage; no matter how close or long-lived a friendship may be, it'll never be the same as a sibling relationship. My sister died in 2001 and I miss her yet. So many little things we used to share: things that would make us laugh, or cry, or angry ... so, yes, I'd also love to have a sister.

BettyBoo, that's sad, I do hope you find a real 'kindred spirit' friend. Do you have a partner with family that you might grow close to? I come from a large family, some of us get on better than others, but you are right that the relationship is special because life-long, and it is easier to reclaim lost ground after we fall out than it would be with anyone else. Think positive, you sound a bit down at the moment?

What worries me Betty Boo is that you were made to feel responsible for not having a sibling. What else was said to you as a child that eroded your self worth?
Please tell us more.
I hope you find a good best friend. That's better than a sister. In my experience anyway.

I too would have loved a sister. There is a 7 year gap in age between my brother and I , we have never been close and he only bothers to get in touch when he feels like it and ignores me for long periods in between. After him not supporting me a few years ago during a very difficult period in my life I have given up and haven't had contact with him for 4 years. I don't miss him. However my best friend who I have known since we were both 9 is an only child and we have always regarded each other as the sisters we never had . She has been there for me through everything and I her. I cannot imagine life without her. We now live 150 miles apart as I relocated to be near my children/grandchildren and we have gone from contact 2/3 times a week to staying with each other as often as we can manage taking in turns to drive to and fro. We do miss each other but will always be close.

I only have brothers and although I get on well with their partners we don't see each other often as we're all quite scattered. I sometimes envy my 2 dd's, I would have liked a sister.

I'd love to have a sister. You see sisters together and it seems a very special relationship.
I do have a brother and we get on very well, though not living near each other. I also have friends from school days so have people I've known all my life and get on with my sisters-in-law, though not very close. I have no complaints but do think a sister would be extra special.

Bettyboo, all my life I've longed for a sister! I always imagined she'd be a bosom pal.
Sadly my only sibling, my brother, died suddenly early this year and I miss him. But from being a teenager I always wanted a sister. I have a son and daughter and also wanted to have another girl for my daughter but it wasn't to be as my marriage broke up. So I totally get how you feel.

I have three sisters, I am very close to two of them. To be honest I don't know what I would do without them. I can share absolutely anything with them and they with me. I was one of 6 children and we had a tough upbringing which is perhaps why us sisters are so close now. We have helped each other with such a lot. I have never felt the need for friends really, perhaps because I have sisters. However, I only had one child, my DD, and sometimes feel guilty that she has no siblings. She is very close to her friends. Maybe making new friends would be the answer for you bettyboo I also agree that you may not have got on with siblings, many don't. My oldest sister hasn't spoken to me in years.

I have a fabulous big sister - much older than me and not living nearby, but we are very close. She wasn’t much company as I was growing up though - she left home when I was 5. I understand your mum’s dilemma, as we too had a non-stop crier. We weren’t quite put off having another, but we certainly left it longer than we would otherwise have done!

As others have shown, OP, you may not have got on with any siblings. I do sympathise though.

Maybe the grass always seems greener. I'm an only and didn't really notice the lack of a sister, or brother, until I saw the relationship between my daughters in law and their sisters. Now I have that longing for someone who has that depth of shared experience and well, just understands. I have very good friends, sadly none geographically close, I suspect some would be hurt if they read this. No matter how good the friendship I am convinced a strong sibling relationship would fill a gap I notice more and more. Of course I know siblings aren't always close, but some certainly are.

I have one sister who has caused problems in the family for as long as I can remember. If she read what I am saying she wouldn't recognise who I was talking about. She is in denial.

Through choices she has made, she has had a pretty miserable life and now lives in a country she hates with a man she despises. Her daughter and GS are the only highlights for her.

She has multiple illnesses, she never complains. I admire her for that.

I would have had a much happier time without her in my life and would have much preferred to be an only child.

I have two close friends who do loads of things with their sisters. I have a half sister who was brought up by my GP so we have never been close, sadly.

I only had one brother and always longed for a sister. I have a sister-in-law (my husband's brother's wife) and we are close but she has a sister of her own.