The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Off, off, off, off come on lads...?

Size isn't everything lemon

As long as it doesn't blow my knickers off .....whey hey
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry I don't know what's come over me... I'm feeling a little flushed

I know which one I’m going home with ( the largest tassel.)

Hold onto yer hats girls......here they come OMG ?
They are wearing Marydoll’s tassels in strategic places.
Fantastic!

Here you go....glug glug glug all the way from Dublin City this poteen ( made in my cousin’s cellar) there could be anything in it, it will blow yer socks off so it will!

Poteen did you say lemon. I don't think I've ever tried that. I'll have a drop in this glass with the cocktail please.

Well that's very kind of you chewy. I suppose it would be rude of me to refuse. Thank you.
?my that's very nice, I think I might have another if that's ok. ...perhaps a double. ??
It's getting a little warm in here, I think I might take my cardi off.

I’m going blind....that poteen was marvellous stuff!

Come on in Crafting, have a seat. Try not to sit on that damp bit though, its originsare a bit suspect. We don't have any Horlicks but I could get you a Sex On The Beach cocktail as a passable alternative? ???????

You shameless hussy Marydoll! Leave poor Grampy alone!

Don’t go before the strippers do their last act though, starting in five mins and promises to have your eyes out on stalks like a crab!

Knock knock. Is it ok to come in? I've just popped over from the kitchen as you were kind enough to invite us.
Good grief ? those men have no clothes on. When I heard about the Chippendales I was expecting a fine furniture exhibition.
I'll just sit here if that's ok. Mind if I just dust the seat off a bit. Wasn't quite sure what to wear tonight so settled for my second best tweed skirt with lavender twinset and pearls.
Could someone please get me something to drink? Horlicks would be nice, I'm not usually up this late.

Well Nana you shouldn't have been peeking.?
I was wondering, would you like me to come and help with Grampy ??

Ye gods ladies, Cyril’s squirrels droppings have left me rather less than fragrant, half an hour in your loo has finished me off, other than that, I’ve had a lovely time, thank you for having me, you can tell I was brought up proper!

Night night Nana. Good luck with getting your Tena Lady off. won't be needing a Brazillian this week

I’m sorry ladies , Grampy has got his head stuck in the fridge so I have to go home and thaw him out . Could you have that Chippendale with the truss , washed and sent round to mine?

It was lovely to meet you all ( sorry about the odd puddle) and look forward to seeing you all again ( maybe slightly less of you Marydoll .... I was almost blinded by that that last knickerless high kick ! ) .

Have you noticed that no one from GN has been brave enough to come? Shame really, it would have been such an education.

Job done! That was a challenge though - nuff said? Good job I have the bug and can’t smell anything.
I forgot to say - the rugby boys may drop in after they have watched the match. Should be round in about 20 mins.

Thanks for the Tena ! Mind you I wish I had looked at which was the sticky side! That’s going to make my eyes water when I rip it off!!

Are we raffling off the Chippendales at the end of the night ? Grampy suggested I bid for a couple ..... I might break one so handy to have a spare !

Could you empty the gazunders out the back when you have a minute Jane I think Kitty must have been in tonight.

Yes, I noticed their legs, so smooth, puts us to shame really, although I plaited my underarm hair and put red ribbons on it.
Time for the second act, here come the Chippies now to the tune of ‘Money For Nothing And Your Chicks For Free’
Cor, gorgeous aren’t they?

Ah! Those little round green things in the red bowl are Cyril Squirrel's droppings. Sorry Nanny, meant to throw those out before we opened. There arent many of them left? Wonder where they all went to?

Shave??? Standards ladies, waxed if you don’t mind, shaving makes things itch!! What are these small round green things in the red bowl, they look like olives but dear god don’t taste like olives....

Good in here tonight lemon. Lots of high class customers who stick their pinkie out when they pick up their jam jars of gin. And the shave their legs too! Have you noticed?