The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

A large absinthe please on the rocks, then I'll do the loos as I will probably be in there anyway

lemongrove after the way I have been treated given that foul stuff you call alcohol I expect anything in the cafe to be free.

Tomorrow I am going out to buy wire cutters because I am having problems dressing myself. Each wire is at least 3" long and as you said, growing. I am not amused.

Charley, please don't go out in the rain, you will rust?

I'm feeling a bit like my old self, so I'm going to start on the gents loos. ? Meno, you can have the night off.

We warned the poteen would put hairs on ye chest!

Mary before cleaning the Gents, please make sure the place is unoccupied, we don’t want a repeat of what happened last time!?

Thanks Jane a large brandy with a pineapple chunk please and some asparagus flavoured crisps, am feeling very posh tonight wearing my faux squirrel coat and matching hat( does the tail hang down at the front or the back?)

Are you that hats faux? It's pretty smelly and the tail keeps moving, I think I hit a squirrel on the way here but it ran away

I wonder if it’s the squirrel out of our loft? You done us a favour Meno if you ran it over!

Oh no Jane, you will have upset the Squirrel Lovers Aging Grannies Preservation Society: SLAPS, (Sometimes known as the Slappers)with that comment.

We are going to have them protesting with placards outside of the Caff.
I wonder if there will be any "fit" granddads? ?
On the positive side, we may be able to shift some of Chewy's dodgy sandwiches and that poteen which is on the turn.

It never ceases to amaze me that something with so much alcohol in it can turn! Mind you, look at Lemon ?

Yes Jane look at me, heads certainly turn when I wear my furry outfit, especially my Davy Crockett hat.
Alchohol is a great preserver you know, which is why I have kept my amazing good looks.?

Any newbies allowed...... and am I then expected to don an amazing outfit?
I would be quite happy to buy a round of drinks if that is appropriate?
I DO love my booze!

Welcome Panache, You have to build up and immunity to the poteen and penicillin sandwiches, so start off very slowly. you do have to be a bit off the wall to come here. Do you think you fit the bill?
The more bizarre your dress sense is, the more you will fit in.
Look at the rest of us and you will get an idea.
One word of warning, hands off Big Jim, the Admiral, the Pilot, (head of the fleet), the Air Force Marshal, the Fire Chief and any senior officers in uniform. They are MINE, ALL MINE.
Looking forward to seeing you soon.

Whose finished off the poteen? If that was you Panache then I wouldn't leave your house for a few days, it does strange things to you. By the way, you are most welcome, the poteen is a baptism of fire, so if you have survived that you will def survive the Argy!
Where's everyone else, am I missing something?

Well....now that you ask.

After all I do for you, so where the party? If it's at your house Marydoll I will come and jump all over your tulips

Is that another euphywotsit?
Are they out looking for new premises? I think we are about to get the bum’s rush from here.

That's a good point, well we have made a bit of a mess with this one so a new place would be good.

Well, I forgot to mention it. I'm in a pub in Berlin, with whom, I'm not prepared to say. However, please don't go looking for Big Jim in the cellar, he isn't there.??

Are you enjoying plenty of steins of lager, Marydoll? Will you bring some back and maybe some bratwurst!!!?

Mapleleaf, the first time I visited Berlin just after the Wall came down, there were places selling Bratwurst on every street corner.
At the moment I have this craving for one, cooked outside, in the open air. All the usual places seemed to have disappeared. In the last few times we have visited, we have had difficulty finding a stall selling decent ones. ???
Big Jim is very hungry and and is getting ratty. Not in a good mood at all.
I will be forced to sedate him with plenty of dunkles Bier, the nearest thing I can find to Guinness.☘️.
Of course, I shall have to have a Stein to keep him company and visit Lidl when I return home.
In the meantime, I shall raise a glass to my Argy friends. Prost!?

So,you are telling us that Big Jim is now in the keller or to be exact, the bier keller? Mein Gott! How did you get there so quickly?Did you take the honesty box yet again Marydoll?

Welcome Panache put your feet up and make yourself at
‘Ome, all friends ( sort of) here you know.
We are a well dressed bunch ( at times) but some of us ( naming no names) leave our wigs and false teeth and corsets
Off now and again and ‘let it all hang out,’ as we hang out.
Cheers ???

I have now put down the deposit ( my own fiver!) on some new premises at the end of the street, not long to wait now.

Whoever goes in there first does the cleaning up!
It’s a bit dilapidated, but then, so are we.You can’t miss it, it’s the building next to the pawn shop, and across the street from the bookies.

I'll try and bring back some kit for the new Argy, " borrowed" from the Weinstube.
Heinz has volunteered to come back with me to help transport the goods. He looks so handsome in his lederhosen.
He also has a friend, (wandering) Hans. Should I invite him also?
PS, I never touched the honesty box, m' ludd, it was the swearbox, I raided. ?. It was full, Chewy, has been busy.

Isn't that the shop that the shop that sold "alternative inflatables for adults" that got raided By the police last month lemon? When I walked past earlier today there were stacks of foot pumps by the door and boxes of skin tone puncture repair kits. You're not getting us into bother again are you lemon?