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To down size or not to down size.

(91 Posts)
Gardenman99 Sun 12-Nov-17 20:59:02

I would like to sell our house pay off the mortgage and move into a one bedroom flat and retire however my wife will not hear of it. She has retired aged 72 I am 69. We had to add to our mortgage some years ago to have a new roof and kitchen. I tell my wife her refusal is stopping me retireing. Her argument is our children and grandchildren will not be able to stay with us in the school holidays if we moved to a one bed flat. What do you think.

Nanabilly Tue 14-Nov-17 09:51:26

You say you can clear your mortgage in 9 years , is there any way that you could afford a bank loan to pay off the mortgage and then pay the bank loan in a much shorter time . Hope that makes sense. I know what I mean.
Then you could retire sooner.
Definitely don't move to a 1 bed flat . I know someone who did it and then spent the next 5 or 6 years in a tiny rabbit hole ( her words not mine ) and she suffered depression because of it and now they have ended up moving back into a 3bed bungalow at huge expense but much happier

Jalima1108 Tue 14-Nov-17 00:11:44

Gardenman99 if you enjoy your job and it is part-time and not too strenuous then that is good. Lots of people do retire then are lost for a while and then take up voluntary work anyway.

Someone did say to me that it could cost up to £20,000 to move shock and that then you may want to spend money on a new place anyway to get it as you want it.

ps we need as many grandads as possible - you are rather few on the ground!

jeanie99 Mon 13-Nov-17 20:23:42

Perhaps you could purchase a property in an area which would enable you to purchase a larger property.
We moved on retirement to a different area and purchased a property the same size as the one we had and are very happy here.
It is the best thing we have ever done.
Having said that we did lots of research and visited the area many time before making the decision.
Best of luck

Gardenman99 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:48:45

Thank you all [except cat lover 123] for your sound advise we will stay in our 3 bed house and hope my pat - time job will carry on so we can clear our mortgage in about 9 years.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:23:54

Do be careful if you do think about re-mortgaging - interest rates could go up again.

There are some quite nice 2 bedroomed apartments near us and some have gardens too, but they are so small, very expensive for what they are and the management fees are very high, so there is a lot to think about.

loopyloo Mon 13-Nov-17 18:18:25

Dear Gardenman, It all comes down to what you would be able to afford if you sold the house. Also keeping the house is a better investment than a flat would be. If you had a lodger would that cover the mortgage? Also might your building society consider a remortgage over a long period of time to make the costs less. So you could work part time. Be warned retirement can be very boring.

Synonymous Mon 13-Nov-17 17:37:23

Gardenman this really has to be a joint decision. We downsized eventually to a large bungalow which has proved to be such a blessing particularly when DH was in a wheelchair. You need to think very carefully about all kinds of 'possibilities and eventualities' before you choose a property. We haven't needed it so far but there is a B&B near by which is used by many of the locals for their visitors when they have insufficient space. DH would go nuts in a small property as would I and we both like our own space. An assisted living flat like a McCarthy & Stone one would be an entirely different kettle of fish - it is all horses for courses.

tessagee Mon 13-Nov-17 17:29:32

The previous comments are all relevant but I note hat no one has mentioned the fact that flats come with annual management charges which are reviewed regularly and can end up costing as much per year as a small mortgage. Even if you are on a very limited income there are no benefits payable for management charges.

Also in a flat you never get away from the sounds made by neighbours on your own floor and on the floors above and below you. Can you both live with this?

Be very careful.

Finally I wish you both a very happy and peaceful retirement whatever you decide to do.

M0nica Mon 13-Nov-17 17:04:35

You do not say how long you have lived in your home and how much emotional investment your wife has in the property.

I am not going to label your wife selfish. We are only hearing your side of the story. I would be interested to hear her side of it.

Personally only the direst necessity would drive me into a one bedroomed flat. Even if I lived alone, let alone married. The older you get the more time you spend indoors with each other. You need space to get away from each other and, as other posters have pointed out, ill health or disturbed sleeping patterns may make 2 bedrooms a necessity.

Have you considered sitting down listening to your wife's reasons for not wanting to move and then taking them into account to negotiate an acceptable compromise?

As others have said, there are other ways to deal with the mortgage. Is it very large? How many years has it to run? Perhaps equity release or an interest only life time mortgage is an alternative. Or how about working part time or your wife getting a part time job.

Ski43 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:47:36

I think you need to choose a good time when your both calm and draw up a list of the pros and cons and see if you can work something out.I can see both sides of this. 1 bedroom sounds good financially,but there would not be a lot of space for and if you did need to sleep separately due to health conditions how would you manage that.Look at property online and see if you could buy a 2 bed within your budget,or could you consider buying a bungalow with a sunroom,as this would give the extra space.Like others have said not knowing what you live in now makes answering a little more difficult. I hope you can work your way around this and both be happy with the result. Good luck.

Eglantine21 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:32:12

Gender fluid Gransnet? grin

muddynails Mon 13-Nov-17 16:18:23

Please don't do it, We did although into small two bed cottage, great untill we retired then we felt really on top of each other, goodness knows how you as a gardener would manage in a flat, even one with small garden, and your poor wife, friends and family are everything and I see her point.
We recently moved to much larger house in cheaper part of
the country, I have new garden and home to plan, dh just potters ,does his hobbies and enjoys the space and peacefulness.
Friends and family visit as there is loads of room now, What BLISS
By the by gransnetters, A grandad is a granny with different appendages or visa versa

Shazmo24 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:09:22

A 1 bed flat will be tiny!...we are going to be downsizing from a 4 bed 2.5 bath detached home at some point but into a 3 bed 1.5 bath house or whatever is the best for our budget.
You want to retire - are you mortgage free? Yes downsize by all means but into something you both like

SiobhanSharpe Mon 13-Nov-17 15:44:59

Have you had a look at one-bed flats? They can be very cramped....
DH and I are soon to put our 4-bed, 3-recep house with v,large garden on the market : we're downsizing because we have much more space than we really need and because our current place will become much more difficult for us to manage.
But we're looking for a 2 bed 2 recep house or garden flat. We need our own space and I think you may well find that you do too! In addition , outside space is very important for general well-being for us and can function as an extra room, weather permitting. And my DH will most definitely want a man-cave shed.
Your DW might be happier moving to a two BR property, it won't be such a huge change.

Diddy1 Mon 13-Nov-17 15:30:01

I agree with the two bedroom option, even if it is just for yourselves to get some of your "own space" believe me you need it when downsizing, I have disovered that since moving into a bungalow a few years ago, and its "open plan", do not go for that, its hard to have a bit of privacy which we all need sometimes.Good luck, also it is nice to have some male comments too.

leeds22 Mon 13-Nov-17 14:42:59

Son's in-laws downsized to a fairly spacious 3 bed apartment from a 5 bed detached. But their marriage didn't last another year as fil felt totally confined. So have a serious discussion about what you both want from a retirement home. (They are both now living alone in 3 bed detacheds!)

EmilyHarburn Mon 13-Nov-17 14:40:49

I have found that you need more room at home not less when you retire. The reasons for this include hosting family but also our hobbies, two TV's etc and our own computers. Hope you can resolve your financial difficulties using some of the ideas above and retire to your existing home. Then find out what is the nature of your retired life and after that make a decision about downsizing.

You will need 2 bed rooms when you down size for the reasons already mentioned on this thread.

Good luck.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Nov-17 14:34:44

Her argument is our children and grandchildren will not be able to stay with us in the school holidays if we moved to a one bed flat. What do you think.

What do I think? I think you should forget the word argument and discuss what you are both aiming for and what will meet both your needs. smile

Do you have any savings at all - if so, could you pay off at least some of the mortgage to take the pressure off you? Savings earn a pittance in interest and in no way keep up with the rate of inflation so there is no point in having them if you also have a debt.
Decide when you want to retire (it sounds like soon - perhaps aim for 70?) and sit down and work out your finances and the costs of moving - or not - together.

JanaNana Mon 13-Nov-17 14:34:15

Selling up and downsizing is"nt as straightforward as it may seem. You may be financially better off but money is"nt everything. A lot of memories, time, effort and love go into into making a home which I think your wife has recognised and you have not. You both need to address this together and work out a solution. Think ahead about visitors you may wish to have, long term space if one or other of you is ill and needs to use separate rooms, also the realisation of just how much less space you will have permanently. There won,"t be much space for indoor hobbies either and I think you might regret doing this when it is too late.

123kitty Mon 13-Nov-17 13:46:53

Really need to get his wife's side of the argument before commenting.

Imperfect27 Mon 13-Nov-17 13:19:44

We downsized to two bedrooms three years ago but definitely feel the need of the extra room for family visits It would make me fee very torn not to be able to host family.

As others have suggested, could you manage a 2-bedroom flat?

wilygran Mon 13-Nov-17 13:06:52

I would say never ever downsize to a one bedroom flat as a couple unless finances force it. I go with everyone who says get a two bedroom that allows you to have a visitor and/or also is really useful if either of you becomes ill or finds it hard to sleep.
You both need space and also privacy at times. This is very hard in a one bedroom flat, unless it is very very spacious and well designed. I've tried both and ended up selling the one bedroom at a loss to make the change. Ideally, if you want a happy wife, I'd also go for two bathrooms if you can - one with a shower!

starbird Mon 13-Nov-17 12:43:08

I meant to press 'preview'!

Should read: have you considered moving to a cheaper part of the town/country or are you near family?

starbird Mon 13-Nov-17 12:41:00

How much longer would you have to work in order to pay off the mortgage? Is part time an option? Will you get a reasonablle pension? If you can only move to a 1 bed flat it sounds like you have a long way to go with the mortgage.

Have you considered to a cheaper oart of the country orcare you near your family?

I think a one bed flat would be stifling fot a couple to live in - you would have to be very good friends to make it work.

I would explore every other option first such as using the equity to pay off the mortgage, compromising on a 2 bed house in a cheaper area etc

Marianne1953 Mon 13-Nov-17 12:36:18

You should be retiring now as the longer you wait means you may not be fit enough to enjoy your retirement. I downsized this year to a 2 bed flat in a city. I gave up a salary of over £2K per month. I now rely on my husband’s pension until next year. However, we both have a bus pass and use it to visit free museums, art galleries etc. We have little money, but have the fullest of life. It was the best decision and I really wish we had done it sooner.