Grandchildren illness

www.emetophobiahelp.org/fact-sheet.html

If we are not willing ( providing we are fit enough) to look after poorly grandchildren while the parents go to work, what good are we as grandparents!! Both my grandchildren are often sick especially at bedtime and often after the daily wash has been put on. On many occasions I have gone home covered in sick and took the extra washing with me. It's all part of family life surely.

You have had your time as a parent. Now your offspring have responsibilities which they have to deal with. Leave them to it.

P.S. You should get help to deal with your paranoia.

I don't live near to my grandchildren to help out on a daily basis but if I did, I would draw the line at D&V bugs. That's because it's never a 24hr illness for me, more often it means I'm very poorly and in bed for several days myself.

I've had a number of nasty tropical stomach complaints when living abroad plus my sister has Crohn's disease with a familial component so I wouldn't care to take the risk.

Fingers crossed, I never seem to catch the little ones' coughs and colds now, which is a bonus!

Thank you librarylady for link it describes me perfectly.I will do some investigating .

I don't mind looking after them when they are poorly but my children will always say don't come over if they have a sickness bug. I work in a hospital so try to minimise spreading it!

Any phobia I might have had about children being sick was sorted out early in my teaching career when a child stood next to the desk where I was hearing a child read, announced "Miss I feel sick" and threw up all over my desk, my Reading record Book and the reading book. He had just drunk his school milk, so the smell was dreadful.

Happy to be on call for emergency sick grandchildren (never thought about it til I read this post).

No, it's not unreasonable.

Mumofmadboys yiu surely didn’t believe I was serious did your?

I have spent 4 years looking after dgd until this summer. She never had a sickness bug thankfully.
What she did have was severe constipation. She was vomiting and leaking poo. Sadly it wasn't sorted until she was admitted to hospital. I'm not great with sick if I'm honest, not even my own!!!!
If you don't feel able to care for an unwell child then be honest, if the parent is armed with this information now they will know not to expect you to look after dgc in the future.

Golly, how condescending and intolerant some people are. It's so easy to criticise or say "get over it" when you don't suffer from a particular phobia.

It’s not condescending or patronising at all. There are many things one may not LIKE doing, but having been responsible for all paws personal care - yes, including arse wiping, vomit mopping, full body washing, dressing , the lot, there are things you can do with good grace because you love somebody and it is not their fault they need it.
Disposable rubber gloves, like nurses and Carers wear can make it more bearable, but the bottom line is that is what we do.
And frankly it is a lot easier with tinies than a grown man of 70 so pardon me if I don’t sound as sympathetic as others.

Yes. Stop being pathetic. End of.

Sometimes I feel a bit of an oddity on Gransnet as I worked full time for 40 years. Now I want to support my Dil as she works full time. In this instance, it means that as I am in fairly good health, and take my free flu jab, I will look after lovely granddaughter when she's poorly.

I also think it's very condescending to say 'get over' a phobia - I've lived with that one all my life and will do anything to stop myself being sick let alone cope with a sick child. My husband knows this and does his best to shield me - I have another phobia which no one knows about and which has ruled my life for the last 50 years. I did seek psychiatric help years ago for that which was useless so just get on with it. Of course if my grandchildren are ill while they're here I will do my best to cope with it but would far rather avoid anyone who might have a bug. I am on medication for various things so don't know what effect an illness would have on me.

We seem to have moved on a bit from I am paranoid about catching the illness from them, especially sickness bugs and am not happy being exposed to full blown emetophobia (which is in the main a phobia about being sick not mopping up tinies)
But “paranoia” -really? Maybe OP needs help.
Simple hygiene precautions are usually quite enough with a poorly child, and if we are talking about other “childhood illnesses”like mumps, measles etc haven’t we mostly been immunised or faced them before?
OP certainly sounded as if she was talking about “poorly grandchildren” and I can understand , as can any working mum, that it does your career no good (sadly) to be forever getting time off for the minor illnesses children seem to suffer from. Yes dads should share the childcare, but perhaps it is just as hard for them with job insecurity these days.
All I know is that when DD3 had chickenpox aged 5 and I was a full time secondary teacher I had to call in a LOT of favours and fortunately was allowed 2 days off.
When the DGSs had chickenpox I was happy to be asked to go up and do a day or two just to help see them over it.
So it all depends on circumstances, but “refuse”? I don’t think so unless there are very extenuating circumstances.

I have to admit I'm wary of stomach bugs. DH with PD would struggle with this. When the GC arrive, I ask them to wash their hands first thing, to 'wash away the school bugs'. DDs wdn't ask us to look after them with this unless really necessary. If their parents had it and couldn't look after the children I would step in.

This is so difficult and really must depend on your state of health and immune system. I know I would not want DH near a sick child as he has emphysema but he goes out and about every day, eats in restaurants socialises with friends so all the time he comes in contact with a wide of viruses. Being active and with people boosts his immune system.

The thought of not going to look after a child is difficult and really against my nature. I would be careful re hygiene but masks a step too far. Also I thought wearing a mask for long periods created a wet, warm area around your mouth and nose, a perfect breeding ground for infections.

I often think we blame an illness on someone when we caught it elsewhere especially if you calculate incubation periods you find it could not have been that contact.

Maw your mention of being vaccinated against childhood illnesses remended me that DS didn't have his and we had to deal with mumps and measles. I don't know how they deal with this now but GP would not give DS any of them because of his eczema which he had from being a baby.

I now refuse to help if it involves D&V as I always get it really badly. It will be 24/48 hours for the GCs but nearly a week for me. Anything else and I'll happily help out.

maw we know you had a difficult time looking after paw but I feel you should cut people some slack.

I've never been asked to do this, as all our grandchildren live far away.
The nearest I've been is with our long-haired border collie, when she occasionally has diarrhoea - I have to trim off her pooey backend fur. I block off the smell by mouth breathing, and wear thin rubber gloves.
We seem to hear much more nowadays about people who have some form of OCD or germ phobia, and I wonder where it comes from?
Eldest son is a bit like that, he developed it when his Dad and I were having marriage problems. Eldest daughter's partner is another one, don't know the reason for his.

I’m assuming you’re meaning so that both parents can go to work and actually I think it’s fine not to want to do that. It doesn’t matter the reason why. In normal circumstances, if one parent can take time off work, then they don’t need you. And if they can’t do that, perhaps both of them working isn’t an option. It’s not the same as looking after your own children. Their children are their responsibility and I think they need to sort it out for themselves rather than rely on you. You’ve done your bit with your children in past years and now it’s their turn. Sorry if this sounds harsh. It’s just the way I feel.