Meltdown in the supermarket!

Greengage. That's lovely! Good luck to you both. I'm more used to being alone now but would just like to have somebody to do nothing with occasionally. As you say, who knows!

Marmight I understand your feelings. I have however always been okay in my own company so although alone, I have not really felt loneliness as such. Quite by chance I have met a man (recently widowed) whom I now see about once a month and whose company I enjoy enormously. We both miss our other halves but have a new friendship which seems to be meaningful to both of us. I am no spring chicken and this was the last thing I had ever expected to happen to me. You never know what the future holds.

keffie 'tears are the blood of an emotional wound.' You are right that is why we have tear ducts.

Like Greengage emotions jump out and surprise me. I still have the 'odd moment' nearly 6 years on since DH died. If it happens in public, I just snivel away and if I meet anyone I know, plead hayfever or a cold, but I know they know and everyone is very sympathetic ... I have only recently been able to listen to classical music again and still haven't rejoined the choir. Anything emotional like that sets me off....Seeing couples doing whatever together be it shopping, dining out, on holiday, moving house, laughing or just innocently walking down the street arm in arm, gives me a ridiculous feeling of 'its not fair'. Knowing those days are past and looking into the abyss of a completely different and lone future is achingly hard to bear particularly at this time of the year. I have always said that being surrounded by people - friends and family - can be one of the loneliest places.
As for bereavement counselling, it didn't do anything for me in fact made me feel worse but I'm sure it would be of benefit to some people.

I was given the 'therapyforyou' card, so I could refer myself. The woman told me that they are unable to help me, as they deal with mental health issues rather than grief.

I have asked for bereavement counselling, but, apparently there is a big waiting list. There is a real need for this service and I'm having to cope until I can get on the list at all.

I lost my husband nearly 11 years ago, and still my emotions can take me by surprise.

So many hugs coming your way. So sorry you had to hide and fight your emotions like that. Had a meltdown in Mothercare. First time shopping after giving birth to stillborn twins. I had to change something that had been bought for my daughter. I saw twin boys looking very grubby propped up on dirty pillows holding onto bottles of milk. They were probably not as neglected as I thought but the world just caved in and I had to run out.

I have just returned to this thread and am amazed at the number of people who have experienced the same - my heart goes out to all of you.

I wonder why we feel we have to be strong and not let people know how we are feeling? Others always think that I am strong and am coping so well - I don't tell them about the times I go to bed and cry myself to sleep because I miss DH so much.

Hugs and to everyone

As you see sunseeker, so many of us can relate to how you're feeling. I think it just gets easier to blink away the tears, but we would never wish to forget the times which cause the tears to flow at times. They were magical moments and will always tug at the heartstrings.

DH is suffering a(nother) bout of depression and I am trying to vet his Christmas music and films and to make life as stress free as possible. But it’s me who is bursting into tears ... Don’t be embarassed, any of you, it’s just harder at Christmas than at any other time. So many of you are coping with so much I sometimes feel ashamed of myself.

It’s a very emotional time of year. I do miss my dear parents and no holiday is complete without my beloved grandparents turning into our drive in their car. The more you love the more you lose

Does anyone know how to become a surrogate grandmother? I’m a granny to one but I want to have more kids around me. I have so much love to give. Silly I know

I know how sad this time can be, remembering many happy, times. My Mum and Dad always tried their best to make Christmas special as my Dad had been in an orphanage. I have no close family now. My beloved brother died in 2010 and I miss him constantly. He made Christmas special for me as he was extremely generous and always picked something that was right for you.

I will be going to my friends on Christmas Eve to Boxing Day but she is older than me and I do think what will happen when one of us goes as she has no close family either.

I am seriously thinking about getting a property in a retirement complex.

Love and hugs to all those who grieve at this time of year especially.

I think your DH wanted you to know he is still there for you.

Sunseeker I do understand where you are coming from.
This morning when I walked passed (Betty's) in York I felt the tears welling up.
It would have been my daughters birthday tomorrow-and each year we used to treat ourselves to a coffee and a posh cake at 11.00am. As well as celebrating her birthday it was our treat before the madness of Christmas.
This will be my second year without her, as she died at age 40 from Breast Cancer.
It amazes me just how many of us have such sad memories at Christmas time. It makes me realize that I'm not the only one who finds this season difficult.

Psssst! Its ok, it doesn't notice. Much. hello!

Bereavement is hard at any time of the year but Christmas and birthdays are the most difficult.
Your not alone. My son loved Christmas ? and that’s when I have to try and keep it together it’s so hard.

* I must apologise profusely for my error in getting posts mixed up.
Am new to this and not quite on the ball yet! ?

I understand completely. I lost my mum, albeit many years ago, at the age of 53 in December. It always seems to hit harder this time of year. As it happens I went to see an old friend today (87yrs) who has suffered the effects of diabetes diagnosed late - failing eyesight and amputated toes. I was taken aback when she said today “I’m ready to fall off my twig”. She feels that enough is enough, as does your dear friend. Enjoy your memories! ?

Sunseeker, you dont need to "pull yourself together" you need a cry every now and then, and people around you understand. Sending huge hugs xx

Christmas makes me think of people no longer with us. My sister died when I was 9, over 50 years ago, but I always feel sad at Christmas thinking about her. It would have been so nice having a sister, and nieces and nephews I've never had

On my sons 18th birthday we were walking in London and a Limo pulled up beside us and out jumped all his best friends and then they whisked him away. I was left with my husband and youngest son. Even though I knew this was going to happen I still had a good cry because they all looked so beautiful.

Thanks for the kind words sunseeker. Everyone tells me the same but I still feel bad about being the misery around everyone.

My oldest friend has just taken me to our local garden centre for coffee and a bit of a shop. I hadn't been there long and I had had enough. just wanted to come home but kept going because she is so kind. In retrospect I'm sure she would have been fine if I'd said I'd had enough and wanted to come home.

I broke down one day at the checkout in Waitrose and the assistant had been through something similar and was veyr understanding. I have realised from reading so many post on GN that I am far from alone.

Yes but I didn’t call it a meltdown I called it grief. It is hard enough at the best of times but when the world appears to be going crazy and the shops are full of frantic people, the loss is exacerbated. You are OK, you are missing someone you loved. Take care of yourself.