I am cross

I hate to see a book defaced in any way too, but will confess to having had cooking accidents which have covered my own cook books!
I once found a ten shilling note in a library book which someone must have been using as a book mark. Old bus tickets or till receipts are more usual though.

I so agree I too would be so angry, you should ask your friend not to do this after all if she is borrowing your property she should respect it .

... if there was any damage ... (not wasn't)

As a child I didn't own many books but we went to the library every couple of weeks and it wouldn't have occurred to me to turn the corners back. Librarians were strict then and would check books and write at the front if there wasn't any damage.
I agree with FarNorth. I don't like lending books unless it's one that I don't really care about. I would say 'I don't mind you borrowing it as long as you don't turn the corners down' and I would put a bookmark in the front. I don't see why anyone should be offended by that and if they are, they are in the wrong. Either that or say that you have stopped lending books because they get spoilt but in that case I would make it a general complaint.

Bookish
Yes, I'm firmly in the DO NOT TURN DOWN PAGES camp.
I could never own a kindle. I love the feel and smell and look of books. It's the difference between taking a pill which has all your day's nutrition or a delicious meal, beautifully presented.

SCRIBBLES. I agree. I can smell cigarette smoke a mile off. Horrible on books, breath and clothes.
I dislike having to remind people to return books that they've borrowed, that's another gripe.

Absent, you are SO right. All of the comments you have made, plus the tobacco smell, water stains, food splashes...

What annoys me most, is when the book isn't returned! Often the borrower has died, or moved away. What to do?

Not unreasonable at all - anything someone is priviledged to borrow show be returned in exactly the same condition it was when they were lent it. Folded corners a big no no for me or marking the books in any way so with you 100% on this one.

Sometimes I turn down corners of my own book, if it's just a paperback, or make notes.
I'd never mark or fold anyone elses book.

Why "hint"? If that friend asks again, tell her you weren't too pleased about the folded corners and offer her a bookmark. If she still does it, refuse next time.

A friend of mine believes all books and even newspapers should be treated with care. She won't let anyone put a cup of tea on a newspaper even if the only other option is to put it on (her) carpet.

If lending a book to someone, put a book mark inside for them to use and ask them to use it saying you dont like the page corners being turned down.This is a reasonable request and anyone decent would not be offended.

I have never had a book returned that has been written in or had pages defaced. I may just be lucky or maybe I make my feelings on the subject so well known that people fear me. It is basic good manners to care for someone elses property.

I agree with all your points absent and with the poster who hates books reeking of smoke. I am an avid reader and help to run a voluntary library, people often tell us they have books to donate to the library then we find the books are in dreadful condition, foxed, tatty,torn etc, why do people think this is acceptable. ? On the plus side we are very lucky that more people offer books in pristine condition.

I agree that no one should mutilate someone else's book, including library books. I am a regular user of our excellent local library and have quite a lot of grumbles about some of the other users.
• Do not correct spelling mistakes by crossing the words out and scribbling in ballpoint pen. I know poor proof-reading is very irritating – I worked in book publishing for more than 30 years – but this is very annoying and quite often the "correction" is actually wrong.
• If you are offended by slang, swearing or sexually explicit language, just stop reading the book; don't obliterate the words you don't like.
• Do not tick the titles of other books by the same author so that you know that you have read them. This is particularly irritating when several people do it using different coloured ink or different symbols.
• Do not read in the bath; this is the only explanation I can think of for all the books with water damage.
• Do not fold corners or circle the page number; use a bookmark.

To be fair to your friend, eazybee, that edition does have pretty crappy binding - this is my copy! It has so-called ‘perfect binding’, which is anything but! The pages are stuck straight onto the spine of the cover with ‘flexible’ glue - but the glue doesn’t stay flexible as it ages, and single pages or chunks fall out. The only way to fix it is to re-glue, as your friend found out, Sellotape is worse than useless. In my first library job, we always used to give the perfect binding repairs to one particular member of staff who was really good at ‘tipping-in’ the loose pages - I never really got the hang of it!

Bookmark all the time whether it's my own book, friends book or from the library.
We also have someone circle a page number at our library. He or she always gets the ones I like first.

Ruins the look of them, I mean.

No, I don’t think it’s right to turn the corners of a page in a book - ruins them. If it’s your own book I suppose you can do what you like, but if you’ve borrowed it from a friend or the library it’s a definite no no.

I write all over the books I use for study (but only in pencil), and would never do it to anyone else's books.
Someone borrowed a book of mine, (Nancy Mitford's Madame de Pompadour ) which she enjoyed so much she then lent it to her sister-in-law; most of the pages fell out so she laboriously stuck them all back with sellotape. It was impossible to close the book, let alone read it , and I had to throw it away and replace it.

I have a pastry brush the sole purpose of which is to brush other people's biscuit crumbs out of library books. Turned down corners and spines that look as of a book has been opened properly don't bother me. As for notes made in books, you aint seen nuthin' till you've seen my school English teacher's benoted volumes. She was a brilliant teacher.

Interestingly, an Ecuadorian I met in Oxford said his father (a German) maintained they hadn't used a book (one that they were supposed to be studying) if there weren't copious remarks and notes in the margins.

Next time she borrows a book I would give her a beautiful book mark that "you found and thought she might like". Hopefully she will take the hint.

I remember my mum complaining (although it was my book that I'd lent to her)
She opened the pages and a load of grated cheese and branston pickle fell out!

I do agree, I hate turned down pages and pages written on are even worse. I don't mind so much a tea/coffee stain as that would be an accident (unless it's a ring on the cover which is worse than writing).

So many things can be used as bookmarks - a piece of tissue, a piece of string, a scrap of newspaper, a Chinese restaurant menu, a bus ticket - I can see no need to turn down corners.

Give your friend a box full of bookmarks for her birthday!

Not in a friend’s book if it’s obvious

I turn corners in my own book, I even write in the margins if I feel the need BUT I wouldn’t do it in someone else’s book, certainly not a friend if it’s obvious they don’t! Disrespectful in my opinion!

I used to use a library in a large town where another user circled p24 of anything she'd/he'd read. I quickly discovered we had similar taste in crime novels so I started looking out for the circles!
Something that annoys me much more than folded over corners is a library book that reeks of tobacco smoke. That is just vile!