Reaction to your pregnancy

No 1 - all good
No 2 - all good
No 3 - what again ?
No 4 - you’ll never come back now ( from Australia). I loved being pregnant, just felt all mooey and content but always found the first 6 weeks after birth very hard and unsettling.

We had been married for 3 years and had at last been allocated a brand new Council maisonette when we decided that it was time to start a family. One evening my unmarried, still living at home, older sister turned up to ask me to accompany her while she told our parents that she was pregnant to her long term boyfriend. I did and made all the right noises, but secretly was raging that she had stolen my thunder by producing the first Grandchild in the family. She married quickly and her baby was born 3 months before mine.

When we visited MIL + FIL to tell them we were expecting, MIL wept buckets of relief and told us that she thought I must be barren as it had taken so long!!! She was over the moon, especially because Baby was a girl, because DH was an only child and MIL announced to all that HER girl had arrived at last. She went way over the top - moving furniture around in my house, changing the cot bedding to items she had bought and most annoyingly substituting her own pink hand knitted clothes and shawl for the the gender neutral items I had chosen with such care and packed in a bag ready for bringing baby home. I arrived home to find her 'in charge in MY house. DH having been sent to get his father and bring him there for his Tea. Anticipating their arrival, she ordered me upstairs to feed baby (who was asleep) as I could not be seen breast feeding by the men. And so it went on.

3 years later, I had DD2 and MIL announced that my parents could have her. She was miffed that DD2 had been given my maiden surname as a middle name. For the rest of her life MIL treated the 2 girls differently, though FIL doted on the younger one.

Sorry to have gone on for so long, but it has been cathartic to write it all down.

My oldest daughter had already told me she had polycystic ovaries and would find it difficult to have children. She announced to me quite out of the blue that she was pregnant BUT he partner didn’t want any children. She was wondering what she should do? Not one for interfering I asked her if she really wanted my opinion. Well, she did so I told her that this could be her only opportunity and it had to be her decision, even if her partner was upset. I was so pleased that she decided to continue the pregnancy. My oldest granddaughter is now 23 and a lovely young woman.

I can’t understand why anyone would wish to take away the joy of any new life.

I had been married 15 years. My parents were over the moon.

I was unmarried ( but 23 & in a relationship ) when I told my Mum I was pregnant - her 1st words were ‘get rid of it’ - Catholic Mother who went to church every Sunday

I only told my parents that I was pregnant when I was two months pregnant. I told my grandmother around the same time, even though I knew they would be happy to hear about it, it was kind of exciting. But everything was adorable. My husband and I all started to congratulate. My grandmother approached the news very responsibly: she signed me up for a consultation with a psychologist to help me get used to my new role, found mother.com/first-trimester-pregnancy-guide/, and constantly threw me some articles from it. All the articles about pregnancy were immediately sent to me. Unfortunately, she said that there was not much available information in her time, and she wanted to help me. I am madly grateful to her for that.

I was frightened to tell my dad because then he would know what I had been doing. I had been married for ten years.......

I'm amazed by so many negative and frankly hurtful reactions from parents and in laws, is it a generation thing but don't we all remember the words said at the time, I honestly don't think I would say anything like this to my children

Second thing MIL told me (knowing I was very young and had no family in the UK) was: I've looked after my daughters too a lot - but I am not doing it again- I shall be in Greece with new BF when it is due.

When my SiL told her employer she was pregnant with her 3rd said employer retorted I could kill your husband, you are worn down enough already!!
3 beautiful and much loved children.

I was sooooo happy i nearly fainted with joy. I adore my little GD.

I was just over 3 months pregnant when I found out. It was a bit of a surprise to say the least- but we were both very happy. When we phoned my mil, she said 'I've known for ages- could see it in your eyes' !?!

My parents were so happy, but concerned- as after my severe car accident and a right leg smashed to smithereens- and bone depletion which nearly resulted in amputation - it was physically not a particularly good idea. But all was fine. I was very slim in those days, and didn't have any morning sickness, or any inkling at all (had been on pill for a while and no periods- came off pill when I went into hospital to take all sorts of pins and metal bits out).

When I looked like a ship in full sail with baby number 4, an old neighbour said pityingly, “Never mind, it’ll be loved when it arrives”
I was furious at everyone’s assumption that she was a mistake or that we were desperate for a boy. Neither true.

When my daughter was 6 months old I found I was one month pregnant. My MiL suggested I ‘get rid of it’ ?

My second (and last);child, a son, was born 14 months after his sister. They are, and always have been, very close to each other and their children are more like brothers and sisters than cousins.

I never forgot my MiL’s reaction.

They didn't seem all that interested.
You get married - you have children. Or not, if you're sterile. They didn't even come to see them for ages (we lived about 100miles away.)

I did marry the father of my child but the wedding was quite downbeat and not an occasion I remembered with any joy. My mother accepted my daughter but didn't lose an opportunity to make sarcastic comments at my husband's expense.

I was 16 when I announced I was pregnant while my (then) boyfriend stood in the kitchen nervously - my mother's reaction was 'well that's just ruined my Christmas' - it was early January! My in laws didn't seem surprised at all and guessed what we were about to tell them. To be fair after we were married and son no 1 arrived both my parents adored him and were lovely grandparents. Reaction to pregnancy no 2 wasn't particularly well received either but again they loved him when he was here. Both my sons were very close to them as they were their only grandchildren especially my younger son with his granddad. In laws had 5 and were much closer to their last granddaughter than any of the others. My eldest son and his wife had been married about 6 years before our first granddaughter arrived followed by the second 4 years later but we had to wait another 12 years for our grandsons from son no 2. Each announcement was greeted with much pleasure.

My experience was same as christinefrance but once she was here they couldn’t have been more supportive or joyous. Being an only child myself they were thrilled to have there first GD after the initial shock.

My parent were both thrilled from the start, sadly Mum died when they were all still quite young.
In-laws were underwhelmed although they only had us to have their Grandchildren. They loved them but were rather distant.

Same here Christinefrance! How times have changed! I was sent away but they gave in and my son couldn’t have haf better grandparents, they loved him till the day they passed away respectively.

With our first both sets of grandparents were very happy. When I was expecting DC2 my parents were still happy (I'm the oldest of 7), but MIL told me "I should've known you weren't going to content yourself with just the one" (DH is an only child just like both of his parents). I never forgave her. Now my parents have 22 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren (and counting) who visit often. MIL just has us and our 2 children + partners + one great-grandchild. Our DC1 lives in another country with partner, so no frequent visits, DC2 and partner and baby rarely visit her. What goes around comes around.....

We were all prepared to tell DM and DF about No 4 but DF realised as soon as he answered the door to me.
I thought it was a woman thing, but he knew immediately he looked at my face.

When I became pregnant for the third time, my mother, (an ex midwife) said: "Oh no, not again!"

DM’s reactions:
Number 1 “Oh no!”
Number2 “Oh dear!”
Number 3 “I thought you couldn’t afford the two you’ve got”
Number 4 “I feel sorry for the others”
DM also had 4 children.

Elrel, she was a control freak. She decided we had enough so it was clearly wrong for us to have this one. She used to refer to me as "the girl" (even in my late 30s) as she couldn't remember my name which was strange as she only had to meet a distant member of my family once and she would always remember their name. She was a difficult woman.