Gransnet forums

Chat

Reaction to your pregnancy

(100 Posts)
annsixty Thu 18-Jan-18 19:50:24

I do not want to spoil the thread that Gillybob has started with the lovely news that her D is pregnant and their reaction to it.
They are so delighted with the news that I wondered just how other members family reacted to the news of their pregnancy.
I had been married for nearly 7 years when I found out to our joy thst I was pregnant after several years of trying.
My H comes from a very large family and when I told my mother our very good news she retorted, I hope you are not going to to copy his mother and fill your house with children, I was devastated.
My in laws had so many GC already that they were not really interested, again disappointment for me.
When my own C announced pregnancy I was so delighted and joyful.
How did you fare?

Chewbacca Thu 18-Jan-18 20:01:04

Are our mother's related annsixty? I too had been married for a long time before we started a family and I waited until Mothering Sunday to tell my mother that I was finally pregnant. As I handed my mother her gift and card, I said that the following year, I too would have a Mothering Sunday card to open. The first words out of her mouth were "You bloody fool".
When my own children began their families, I made sure that I never repeated the words or behaviour of my own "DM".

Jalima1108 Thu 18-Jan-18 20:15:52

There were comments (from only one or two) that we 'couldn't find the recipe'.

So when we did everyone was delighted.

Christinefrance Thu 18-Jan-18 20:19:39

Shock, horror, what will the neighbours say, etc. I was unmarried and my family were quite religious.

Grannyben Thu 18-Jan-18 20:21:23

My mil's first reaction was "well I hope you're not expecting me to babysit". To be honest she would have been the last person I would have asked although in later years we did get on quite well

Anniebach Thu 18-Jan-18 20:25:15

Our first daughter arrived 13 months after we married , we wanted four children so didn't delay 😀

Two of my sisters were pregnant at the same time, so our first child was my parents fourth grandchild with two more on the way, it was great . My aunt who shared my upbringing with my parents was thrilled , we named the baby for her.

My husbands family were pleased, they had one grandchild.

I was so exited when my elder daughter was pregnant , the three pregnancies , I was even allowed to name the third 😀

kittylester Thu 18-Jan-18 20:44:33

Our first was born 11 months after we got married - and we got married far to quickly in my mother's view - mum said 'I suppose you'd better call it Justin if it's a boy - you know, just in time!'

When I was pregnant with number 4, she said, ' I only ever wanted 3!' And, while I was pregnant with number 5 she told me that she told people I has help with the children as she didn't want people to think I was kept barefoot and pregnant in a council house!

M0nica Thu 18-Jan-18 21:00:53

Both sets of parents were delighted.

BBbevan Thu 18-Jan-18 21:04:57

Me too Christinefrance, My own parents were angry. But we found my to be MiL and other people kind and accepting. We are still together after 53 yrs proving my parents very wrong

MissAdventure Thu 18-Jan-18 21:08:33

My mum was fuming, and really upset. She didn't speak to me for a long time.

mcem Thu 18-Jan-18 21:19:53

Delight from both parents when they heard we'd been accepted to adopt and same response 2 years later.
Gobsmacked 10 years later when I announced I was pregnant - but just as delighted. Never had a negative comment.
Dd1 was more worried about what her gran would say than about my reaction when she announced her unplanned ( and unmarried ) pregnancy!
However Mum's reaction was to get out the knitting patterns and ask what she should knit first.
All our babies and gc's were very welcome.

annsixty Thu 18-Jan-18 21:39:58

I am so pleased for you all who had such a positive reaction. I made sure my own children had the same response.
My mother was just a very difficult and very jealous person.
My C didn't just have a positive reaction as a result to my mother's attitude , I was overjoyed to be a GM.
I still am.

paddyann Thu 18-Jan-18 22:01:18

baby one miscarried ,next baby baby a girl died at 4 days old ,I got pregnant again after 7 months and when we told MIL she said" Maybe this one will be a boy"She had always referred to baby as a boy and knitted boys hats and blue things.. I was very hurt I just wanted a healthy baby that survived ,couldn't have cared less if it was a boy or a girl.The next baby was also a girl.....she had to wait another ten years and a few miscarriages before she got her boy.To be fair though she and my D are very close and always have been

merlotgran Thu 18-Jan-18 22:03:10

Both sets of parents were thrilled. My father was dying though and didn't live to see his grandchild sad

Greyduster Thu 18-Jan-18 22:06:57

When I announced that I was pregnant I’m not sure what my mother thought - I had never shown any evidence of possessing a maternal bone, so I think she feared for any child I might produce (so did I, frankly! grin). What horrified her more was that I was seven months pregnant when I flew out to join DH in the Far East. I was going to have her grandchild in a foreign country! She had nine other grandchildren - all born their homes - and she had been present at all the births. It cut her to the quick!

MissAdventure Thu 18-Jan-18 22:09:39

I was really cross when my daughter got pregnant, I must say. Disappointed, I suppose. I had such great plans for her! grin

Greyduster Thu 18-Jan-18 22:13:51

As a PS, when he did arrive she went into knitting overdrive. Every other week a parcel would arrive containing yet another cardigan or shawl or whatever. I never could get it through to her that it was so hot he never wore much in the way of clothing and certainly nothing knitted! But I put them carefully away and kept them until my daughter was born, so she had the satisfaction of knowing one of my babies had worn them!

MissAdventure Thu 18-Jan-18 22:21:51

I had eclampsia when expecting my daughter, and went from just going for a check up to having an emergency caesarian at 6 months pregnant. My mum was the first to see my daughter, and a great love was born from that point. They were incredibly close.

hildajenniJ Thu 18-Jan-18 22:23:04

I came back from honeymoon pregnant! My parents were thrilled as I was approaching 31 and they thought that they were never going to be grandparents. Everyone else we told, you could see doing mental calculations. When DD became pregnant she wasn't married. When we told my mother, we were rather nervous of her reaction as she was a staunch Methodist. We needn't have worried. She was absolutely delighted to be meeting a great grandchild. I am so pleased that she lived long enough to see four great grandchildren, and my DD and SiL married.

J52 Thu 18-Jan-18 23:16:59

I was teaching in a rough area of London, when I announced that l would be leaving to have a baby one pupil asked me if I knew who the father was!!!

Menopaws Thu 18-Jan-18 23:36:58

I'd been through it with my mum disapproving of my husband but once married she was fine when babies came along. My mil was thrilled with my first, happy with my second and flat with third, don't really know why as she had five.
My mums mum reaction to me being expected was "why do you want another one, you've got one of each, oh well I suppose I will love it"
We never forget these comments do we.

ninathenana Thu 18-Jan-18 23:40:23

My mum was overjoyed. She was the only grandparent still alive, I often wonder what MiL reaction would have been. We had been trying for many years and she was so pleased for us as were other family and friends.

Grandma2213 Fri 19-Jan-18 01:22:39

I was unmarried and quite happy with that but Mother and MIL were only interested in us getting married. We did but it was probably the biggest mistake of my life! My Dad had just had a major heart attack and my mother insisted that she tell him, not me, because he would be devastated. |I never expected that as he was usually the tolerant one! He loved all his grandchildren passionately as it turned out.

It also turns out that I was following in the family tradition. Both my mother and paternal grandmother 'had to get married'. I'm not sure about my maternal grandmother as she died before I was born and I have no records of her marriage! My DS's have carried on the tradition though I was in my 60's before all 5 DGC came along within 5 years. I was thrilled.

Billybob4491 Fri 19-Jan-18 05:55:20

Kitty, your mother sounds quite a character!

kittylester Fri 19-Jan-18 07:44:30

Billybob, they based Mrs Bucket on her!!