Someone offered to pray for DS!

At one time we were living in a religious community which had a prayer group, reading psalms etc for sick people, or others who had serious problems.
But we had been asked by the person with the problem, or their family, to pray for them.
Since then I've prayed for others too, but keep it to myself (and God.)

Surely no-one can have too many positive thoughts regarding their well being.

People pray for others as a kindness. That is the intention. There is a huge body of evidence that suggest prayers are beneficial whether or not the recipient wants them or is even aware of being prayed for. Relax folks. No damage here.

kittylester I'm not surprised he was hopping mad. That seems like the only logical reaction to me. You cannot win with these people because they like being martyrs so if he had responded angrily she would just pray over him harder. I get them knocking on the door and you can see a look of smugness if you shut the door on them.
You have to wonder what is missing in her life and feel sorry for her.

Friend here who uses a stick says he would prefer someone to give up a seat on a public conveyance, not push him aside to get to the seat first. He says he'd suggest they kill a chicken instead of praying as it might be more use.

I don't mind any-one praying for me but I don't want to be told that they are. Kitty your DS must have been taken aback & then furious, I would have been.

I have an instinct for Jehovah's Witnessses, I can spot them walking around, I'm never rude, I say no thank you politely, where I live now I have asked them not to call & they have respected my wishes.

When DH had retired but I was still working, I came home one day, he said I've had two nice ladies called today & they left a leaflet, yes JWs , he hadn't realised. A few weeks later I answered the door to a "lady" asking if DH (using his first name) was in, I was a bit taken aback (secret affair), she explained she had called previously I informed her that DH was in fact Jewish, she made a swift retreat. DH got a lecture

I was brought up as a Methodist, these days Church attendance tends to be "Hatches, Matches & Despatches" however although I don't attend Chapel/Church I do still believe.

I'm with your son Kittylester. What a cheek for a random stranger to invade his space, privacy and time in that way. It was thoughtless and tactless of the woman, she demonstrated absolutely no awareness of the wider picture and I hope the next person she informs she is praying for has the foresight to gently tell her so.

Many years ago my mum had just died. A neighbour, who I didn't know, told me she was praying for me. I found it very odd. I felt it was none of her business to be praying for me.

Love the thinking behind the quote LG!

If your husband was upset he was upset kitty and has every right to be so. I wonder if he could look at it as just a cultural difference. If he was in bible belt USA I can imagine his whole local church could be praying for him! That was this ladies culture. I have no idea why she needed to ask but perhaps she felt that knowing someone was praying for him might make him feel better. I think she meant well although I think I would be taken aback too.

Last summer whilst walking around Sainsbury's with a dressing on my nose following surgery for skin cancer I got talking to an elderly woman who asked me about it. At the end of the conversation she asked me whether she could include me in her prayers that night, adding that her husband thought she was mad for praying each night! I wasn't offended, I thought it was quite sweet of her.

You sound like me "I'm not an idiot, own two degrees.. " How often I've said words like that in the face of those who mock my faith! PRAISE GOD! You have received a miracle and prayer does work! I'm so glad you told us this. I agree the lady wasn't very well advised, she should have prayed without bothering the person, but she meant well and not everyone is gifted with great insight or intelligence.

And as for you luzdo ALL religion ‘means well’ and look at that result!!!

If she wanted to pray for him she should have gone home and done so. No need to approach him in my HO.

I am an atheist ...... but if I did believe in an all powerful all knowing individual then I do wonder why begging him to intervene is considered the proper thing to do. It’s like saying “ look here god you’ve got this wrong, and please help us”. I thought everything god did was ‘for our own good’ . Praying is saying god got it wrong.!!!! I’m confused. But then when haven’t I been confused by religion.!?

Just say no if you don't want to be prayed for. If people who ask are suffering from mental illness it won't help them to encourage that behaviour.

A simple no should suffice.

Rather than ask these people to pray to regain good health it might be better to ask them to question their all powerful god as to why it inflicts misery and suffering on so many millions of people, children included. Of course, it's 'all part of god's great plan', according to their philosophy, so who are they to presume to question it, as prayer is nothing more than that!
I'm a firm believer in the experiment where one can pray to god for three days, then pray to Eric the Purple Toaster for three days, then carefully note down which produces better results.
Oh, and here's a thought for the day(!): Religion kills more people than cancer - but they're only trying to find a cure for cancer.
Be happy.

As one who prays, believes in prayer and knows how wonderful it is to have a relationship with our Lord, I'd like to answer please. The lady was ill-advised and a bit lacking in judgement in approaching your DSI. BUT she did mean well. It would be better for Christians to pray for people they do not know without approaching them, because unless we know how that person feels about themselves and religion, we could, as you have shown us, upset them, which is a terribly sad thing to do. Your DSI is a great ambassador for stroke victims, especially those in the early stages, to give them hope that they will cope well and lead a normal life. Meanwhile let's pray that all those receiving a diagnosis which suggests a life changing situation may recover well to lead an independent and happy life.

I agree with the OP's husband's second thoughts. It would have been good if he could have asked why.
They might have had an interesting conversation on why if it was God's decision that he should have a stroke she wanted to change His mind ?

I don’t know about this specific woman’s offer to help as it sounds a bit tactless. Howwver I believe in prayer and would be delighted to have someone offer to pray for me. I am a christian (although often not a very good one) and have seen several miracles over the years.I'm not a gullible idiot and hold two university degrees. I like and trust the evidence of my own eyes and personal experience. Prayer for my young son led to an instant healing of his poor eyesight and 20:20 vision. No more glasses needed. It doesn’t often happen but ....,, I recommend people try prayer. Many local churches have healing teams.

My auntie is a devout catholic. When she hears of someone dying or very ill her first thought is I must pray for them. She means well although a non believer would probably wish she would mind her own business. I can understand your son who is coping admirably with his disability feeling upset but it was probably said with only kindness in mind.

I do hope we weren't on the prayer list as well!

I didn't like it when somebody in the village came and weeded my garden without asking either. It's a lack of respect.

I get this, Eglantine. When DH was briefly out of work many years ago, a couple we knew just to say hello to called round with selection boxes for our DC, because "charity begins at home". I was very restrained and polite but told them we didn't need charity, we had redundancy cover anyway and I was working!

A couple of days later the local vicar came round with toys the church had been given for local deprived youngsters - we'd actually donated one of them ourselves. He turned up when my parents were babysitting, which was very embarrassing, and I had to march walk up to the vicarage to return the donations. I think the same couple had put our name forward as deserving cases.

Nellie - I thought you might find this interesting - I posted it before about 5 years ago!-

I have just come across this interview with John Rutter the composer and I find it absolutely delightful - I identify with it so strongly - and his extraordinary personality shines through. I have edited it heavily, as the original is long (and can be found here: www.alanmacfarlane.com/DO/filmshow/ruttertx1.htm). I think the first and last sentences are fascinating!

"I am friend, fellow traveller, and agnostic supporter of the Christian faith; in my early days, people described themselves by default as Church of England if they didn't really have any religious affiliation...........I sang in the chapel choir and was always interested in religious studies, but somehow being a non-joiner became a habit; although I think I probably was religious in quite a powerful sense when I was young and into my twenties, not least because I felt so lucky as my career began to take off and things began to go well for me.......... a kind of theology of gratitude; probably can't take it very far because what happens when something goes wrong in your life? - the sense that there must be some benevolent deity behind all this is a bit like American religious thought; when I began to travel to America I started to meet an awful lot of Christians;....... the American faith world contains some of the very finest and most searching of theology and religious thought and practice, and some of the worst; I have experienced the full spectrum; ........ if I wanted to be honest about my own faith journey it has been backwards over the years; I am afraid what slightly began to sow the seeds of doubt was seeing the absolute certainty of religious adherents in America, and some of the harm that that certainty could lead to; I started by thinking there must be many paths to God and went from there to a rather tougher position which is that the universe is basically numbers, and in some sense mathematical and a lottery; if there is a controlling deity he is a bit like a Mafia don who is capable of doing good and charitable things, but also almost takes pleasure in doing malicious and harmful things, sowing the seeds of long-running dissent and problems; that is hard to reconcile with the Christian concept of a loving God; I don't find it helpful either to say that you have to have a personal relationship with Jesus; numerous of my religious friends say that if you are not born again and if Jesus is not your personal friend, then you are not a true Christian; I always remember the words of the Rev. Professor Charles Moule, a most searching theologian, who said he was perfectly sure he had only been born once; .........; people sometimes have asked me whether the fact that my son was killed affects my faith position; it happened in 2001 when he was nineteen and a student here at Cambridge, and he got run over crossing Queens’ Road one night; completely unforeseen and random, but I think that the answer is no, as by then I wouldn't have described myself as a believing Christian; on the other hand, you have to consider the alternatives; a world without any churches or space for religious thought or contemplation, or based only on material values, would be a hell; in a sense, if you believe the specific doctrines of the faith, I think that just the statement it makes about how man should not live by bread alone, is immensely important; music is a part of that because it is useless in a literal sense, you don't have to have music to survive, yet it has always been there; imagining a world without it is impossible, as is a world without faith; even though you might say that religion is an invention of man, I don't think it invalidates its worth; ....... it began to look to me as if the whole edifice of religion was a man-made construct; I do remain hugely sympathetic to the church, its music, its liturgy, its traditions, and, with some caveats, its ministry; on the whole, the Church I was baptised into, is trying to do good in a difficult situation, and is making a statement on behalf of qualities like compassion, forgiveness, charity, that everybody would support; I would be heartbroken if the Church of England closed its doors tomorrow; I hope to be buried in a country churchyard with a funeral service according to the 1662 Prayer Book, and all my favourite pieces of music; I suppose that is wanting it both ways - both the trappings without necessarily subscribing to the doctrine; I think there are quite a lot of people like me; Vaughan Williams was similar in that he had a sense of generalised spirituality which was triggered by things like standing on top of the Malvern Hills and contemplating the beauty of nature, or walking through the west door of a cathedral and being awestruck by the grandeur and mystery of the building, or being inspired by 'Pilgrim's Progress'; I think he would not have called himself a Christian, yet his life was steeped in Christianity at every point; I am like that and my moral compass probably does derive in large part from Christian ethic and teaching; I owe Christianity a huge debt and it is rather ungrateful of me not to believe in it more."

Yes, dj, you never know, he might gave ended up marrying her - once he got over feeling belittled by her!

Took her to the nearest cafe and bought her a cup of tea, sat her down and had a really good discussion?