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Someone offered to pray for DS!

(226 Posts)
kittylester Sat 27-Jan-18 19:31:54

DS1 had a stroke 10 years ago and has left sided weakness and walks rather unsteadily with a stick! He does, however walk all over our small town with strategic stops.

As he was crossing the market place a woman came up to him and asked if she could pray for him.

He was upset to think someone thought they should pray for him and that he would want them to.

What do you think?

Ilovecheese Sat 27-Jan-18 19:35:52

I'm not surprised he was upset.
I suppose it was said with good intentions but was rather tactless.

Bridgeit Sat 27-Jan-18 19:40:40

Perhaps,to view it as a kindly but misguided thought & comment & ponder on what sort of life she may have , but probably he’d really liked to have said something a little bit harsher, like excuse me !!why don’t you. .... off . And who would blame him.

Auntieflo Sat 27-Jan-18 19:42:19

Dear Kitty, I hope it was said with love and kindness, but can be surprising to be the recipient of such an offer. Usually prayer can offer only well being and peace. I have heard a little of your son's journey, here through GN, and hope, and yes pray, that he is well and not too upset by his encounter.

willsmadnan Sat 27-Jan-18 19:45:50

I do think it was totally inappropriate, and if it had been said to me about either myself or a member of my family I would be be quite annoyed. That is not to say I am fiercely agnostic ... but my Faith is my own business and to have a stranger telling me they are 'praying for me' in my book is an invasion of my privacy.

Bellanonna Sat 27-Jan-18 19:51:38

I find it weird. May I help you? if they were misguidedly concerned might just about have been ok, but frankly the offer of a prayer was very odd. I’m sure your son was upset. Hope he’s been able to put it out of his mind. The person offering to pray was possibly a bit eccentric and I’m sure she meant well, but it was nonetheless inappropriate if it just came out of the blue.

Cherrytree59 Sat 27-Jan-18 19:53:42

I think would have been taken a back.shock

From what you have posted previously regarding your son,
It would seem that he has already overcome much of what life has chosen to throw at him.
He has achieved and is still achieving life goals.

Maybe well meant.
But nevertheless presumptuous

Crafting Sat 27-Jan-18 20:00:09

I have often prayed for people willmadnan. Usually they are included in my prayers for some reason. I very seldom tell them I am doing so.
Until you mentioned it, it had never occurred to me that it was an invasion of privacy.
I never assume the people I pray for have any faith and my prayers usually are to ask for them to be comforted or helped in some way, to regain good health or to find peace.
I am wary of telling anyone I will pray for them (unless asked) as they may take offence but none is ever intended.
I do not know what this woman meant when she said she would pray for your DS kitty (she could be barking mad for all we know) but people do not "pray" to wish ill will to others or cause them harm as far as I am aware so I assume she meant well. Very sorry it upset him.

Jane10 Sat 27-Jan-18 20:02:12

I was out one day with two men who had Downs Syndrome. A lady stopped us in the street and blessed us. Was odd but kindly meant.
Another time a lady pressed some money into my hand on the bus 'for the children'. All the people I was with were over 30 (but had learning disabilities). I didn't accept the money.
There just are kind people out who are well meaning but misguided. Its better than an impulse to cruelty which seems more common sadly.

kittylester Sat 27-Jan-18 20:07:10

Actu few ally, I was wrong to say it upset him - he was hopping mad - except he cant hop! grin

kittylester Sat 27-Jan-18 20:12:50

My pesky phone - actually!

Luckygirl Sat 27-Jan-18 20:14:30

When I was ill, lots of my religious friends were praying for me - even though I do not share their beliefs, I greatly appreciated the thought.

But to have someone you do not know stroll up to you in the street is a bit strange.

I had two American evangelical Christians wander up to me in the street with a handful of tracts, offering to help me find Jesus - I was not best pleased - I had just been having a difficult talk with my OH's consultant and was in no mood for having religion forced down my throat!

Anniebach Sat 27-Jan-18 20:23:49

Please don't forget some people with a mental illness do this

lemongrove Sat 27-Jan-18 20:31:06

Kitty just tell him ‘it takes all sorts!’ mind you, a prayer or a blessing is better than a curse.

Lucky I was once accosted by American evangelists in the street asking if ‘I had found Jesus’ and said ‘ I’ve never lost him’ threw them.
This was about 30 years ago, could they be the same ones still trudging the streets? grin

Elegran Sat 27-Jan-18 20:37:47

Perhaps a brief "Thank you", with the addition ,"I have my GP and my consultant working for me too, and my physiotherapist," - and a smile, if you can raise one. They mean it to help, but it does rather take the wind out of your sails.

Lynnebo Sat 27-Jan-18 20:38:50

Am I the only one that thinks that is very kind of her? Although perhaps she should be more careful about who she approaches. Her faith must be very strong.

annodomini Sat 27-Jan-18 20:40:09

A young man I was sitting next to on a long haul flight was clutching a Bible and asked me if I believed in God. When I said no, we had an amicable discussion and agreed to differ. Maybe he silently prayed for me but at least he didn't tell me or ask my permission!

Grandma70s Sat 27-Jan-18 20:50:15

I think it’s patronising. When my husband died I was told people were praying for me. I felt patronised and rather scornful, I’m afraid.

annsixty Sat 27-Jan-18 21:12:27

I often pray for people on GN who I feel for but I would never tell them and just hope my prayers have some effect in their situation. It never occurred to me that I was wrong, I was doing it because I wanted to help.

lemongrove Sat 27-Jan-18 21:15:02

You weren’t wrong Ann ( would only be wrong if you announced it to the person)

annsixty Sat 27-Jan-18 21:15:53

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I know people prayed for me. I was very grateful to them, but I suppose a non believer would feel differently and feel insulted / patronized.

grandma60 Sat 27-Jan-18 22:22:11

When I worked in an office, a lady I worked with was an Evangelical Christian who spent a lot of her time praying for the rest of us or our family's. I'm sure it was kindly meant and I think a lot of colleagues who had relatives with serious illnesses or problems were touched by her prayers even if they didn't believe themselves.
However she would also pray for people to have good weather on holiday and other trivial things.
She did pray for my daughter to have good weather for her wedding. After weeks of rain the guests were dropping in the heat.! All this was stopped by the management when she started seeing angels of people's shoulders. Some people were amused but others were frightened.

paddyann Sat 27-Jan-18 22:51:56

I'm not a believer but I ouldn't be insulted by it.My parents and gran ere devout catholics and if they offered to pray for someone it as done with the very best of intentions.I would thank them for their good wishes ..for thats what prayers are in these circumstances

paddyann Sat 27-Jan-18 22:52:17

wouldn't be insulted

Luckygirl Sat 27-Jan-18 23:07:09

Not insulted or patronised by the knowledge that kind friends were praying for me. They believed it would help me; and I appreciated their desire to help.

But I am afraid the Americans really pulled my chain on that particular day. I respect their beliefs, but they should respect my privacy.

* annodomini * - your seat companion was clearly afraid of flying! grin