Gransnet forums



(14 Posts)
Westholme69 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:03:53

I am very worried about my daughter my grandson who is 14 yrs has been suspended from three schools for bad behaviour she is now trying to home school him he comes from a good home and knows how to behave which he does mostly he wanted this expensive phone for Christmas and his parents told him it depended on how his behaviour was of course he never got it because he got suspended from school just last week he keeps on about the phone every day and doesn’t seem to understand about his behaviour my daughter is really depressed in tears on the phone to me most days his dad is at work when she asks for advice she gets told to keep on what she is doing he has been diagnosed with dyslexia and my daughter has emailed the doctor for more tests he also rings me up to see if l will give in but l will not go against hs parents any ideas please

Auntieflo Thu 01-Feb-18 09:11:07

Oh dear.

Teetime Thu 01-Feb-18 09:12:20

Oh dear that is so distressing for you all. There must surely be some other support your daughter can get. I think home schooling is going to be fraught with hazard. Is it worth trying the education authority for information?

ninathenana Thu 01-Feb-18 09:14:26

I think your GS needs further assesment to check there are no other problems.
His dyslexia must make him very frustrated and the frustration may well manifest itself in bad behaviour.
How is he at home ?

Westholme69 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:39:51

He just keeps on about the phone all day which is wearing my daughter down

Farmor15 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:45:45

Could he be on the autistic spectrum/Aspergers? Fixation on a topic eg phone, can be one of the features. Daughter should definitely seek more help from doctor and referral for assessment.

midgey Thu 01-Feb-18 09:45:58

He keeps on about it in the hope that somebody will crack and buy it for some peace, that cannot happen if his parents have said no. It’s not only very young children that work parents against grandparents! Would a tutor be out of the question?

glammanana Thu 01-Feb-18 09:57:26

I feel for you as we are going similar with my DGD (nearly 16) your DGS must have been really misbehaving for him to be asked to leave 3 schools as they usually try and work through the problems even if they have dyslexia etc.
Home schooling in my opinion is a waste of time as the boy needs constant firm supervision which he is not getting if his mum is upset all the time.
Speak to the LEA and get him into a school with a special needs class.It is a class where the child will have one to one firm lessons and when improvement is shown he can then move on to the main stream of the school.
Certainly do not give into the phone he will know then whatever he does he will get rewarded and that should not happen.Is your DGS an only child and does the father have any influence on his behaviour or are things left to your poor daughter.

MissAdventure Thu 01-Feb-18 10:03:36

I think you saying that his constant asking for the phone is wearing his mum down. That is exactly what he is hoping for. Its bullying behaviour, but I realise its very hard to stay firm with wayward teens.
Your daughter could ring parentline for advice, or some of the other organisations. Gingerbread may also be able to point her in the right direction.

M0nica Thu 01-Feb-18 16:38:00

I think his parents should ask for a referral to a child psychologist, A 14 year old boy from a supportive home should not be behaving like this. I am surprised that one of his schools or his GP have not already done so. Or were all his schools academys?

Crafting Thu 01-Feb-18 16:46:33

I agree he needs assessment possible ASD or other problem. Whatever his position on the phone is, that is not the real problem. The real problem is an angry child with issues in controlling himself. He needs help and the sooner the better. Like Monica I cannot believe a child of this age can be expelled from 3 schools without anyone referring him to a child psychologist.

Crafting Thu 01-Feb-18 16:48:56

Sorry just read OP again and realised the child was suspended not expelled. Has there been any explanation for this behaviour at school? Is he being bullied for example?

M0nica Thu 01-Feb-18 16:56:41

Suspension or expelling, makes no difference, he should have been referred to a child psychologist.

BlueBelle Thu 01-Feb-18 18:53:03

Home schooling will surely make the matter ten times worse as the mother will just be more of an anger object

This really depends on whether this has been normal for him through growing up has he always been disruptive always been difficult to manage If it’s a new characteristic then you have to wonder if somethings going on is he being bullied or (sorry to be blunt) could drugs be involved sometimes kids personalities can really change if they start taking drugs, and they are rife in EVERY. School has he had trouble with girls? 14 to 18 is a hell of a difficult age nowadays and I think a lot of our kids are badly let down in schools and colleges if they are not heads downs good achedemic kids and I think it’s extremely difficult especially for boys