Have you ever been bullied as an adult?

I only recall one instance of bullying behaviour when we moved and I changed junior school. But, although it was upsetting, it only lasted a couple of weeks or so.

Other than that, I don't recall being bullied by anyone at work so I must be very fortunate. Being subjected to bullying day in and day out must be dreadful.

You were brave and quite right to stand up to this man. who seems to have simply had no manners and no kindness, white/black has nothing to do with it. And your DH should have stood up for you, IMH.

Felice, I wish it were true that bullies never win. I know of two people who've had nervous breakdowns and resigned from their jobs because of bullying. Sadly, bullies often win. I myself was bullied at work in the 80's, and though I didn't let them beat me, there are still nights when I feel humiliated thinking of letting them see me cry. Nonnie, I hope if it ever happens to me again I can stand up for myself the way you did.

Well done for standing up to him. A neighbour tried to bully me once. Local Councillor gave me his name and he got a visit from the Police! Never saw him again!

It sounds to me that several posters think the man was rude and racist towards Nonnie and I agree.

But I'm the only poster who queried what Gabriellea in her post at 13:38 meant by 'they'. Doesn't anyone else have a problem with her post, particularly the last two sentences?

There will never ever be parity...ever. That's the way of the world, only the pc brigade have muzzled free speech.

I was never bullied personally at work, but saw plenty of it directed at others by so called 'managers'. Because of that, I became a union rep which gave ME the power to defend others. And I did.

I have been retired for nine years now, and I still hold the values I belive in - honesty, plain speaking & defender of those who are unable to defend themselves.

Way to go Nonnie!!

Removing a comment doesn't alter my view.

Wilma Yes, I agree with you about Gabriella's post. Using one man's bad behaviour to implicate a whole group of people - as in using the term "they" - is, in my opinion, racist.

Also, I think it's rather ironic that a post which rightly decries an example of bullying and bad manners receives a response that refers scornfully to "the pc brigade". Whilst I think the term "political correctness" is rather annoying, in my view it basically means good manners.






is decrying bad manners and offensive remarks has

WilmaKnickersfit, I thought I must have misread (I was in a hurry) because nobody else picked it up. I'd quite like Gabriella to explain! As far as I am concerned there must be parity...always. The colour of your skin should have no bearing on anything which is why Nonny's protagonist was so wrong.

Let me know when everyone is treated equally. 2,018 years and nothing has changed.

I did NOT say that there shouldn't be parity (equality) I did say that there wouldn't be. It's the way of the world, nothing to do with my views.
The post has been removed. There was a petition by WKF to get others to join in reporting it to GN.
That's ok. I replied to them. All a bit childish.

Things most certainly have changed.

So far as the law is concerned, it would be illegal now for a political party to display a poster saying "If you want a nigger for a neighbour, Vote Labour" or for landlords to specify "No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish."

There is still, in my view, a lot of room for improvement but to say that nothing has changed is just plain wrong.

Gabriellea what petition? I reported your post after your second private message to me and I would do it again. Your third message to be justifying your opinion did not change mine. I question why you sent me a message instead of posting on the thread.

You said you hoped a line could be drawn under the subject and I respected that until I read your post at 23:47.

AmMaz, I'm so sorry - I should've made myself more clear. I do speak up as my (incredibly brave) Mum taught me very early on. I was always so proud of her that I wanted to follow her example - as Nonnie so courageously showed the children in this situation.

'Silence implies consent' is something my family made certain I understood as soon as possible. That, & the fact that if you don't speak up for others, we all suffer. It chips away at the foundation.

They also taught me the wonderful point you make about people who may come from different backgrounds. How can they learn if no one tells them? It's up to all of us - you're quite right. And what our culture considers 'leeway' must be very easy to mistake for a way of saying 'this is acceptable.' (And not everyone can be expected to understand the full meaning of a Paddington Stare!) As I said sometimes I'm a bit too brave (it runs in the family). It isn't that I don't speak up ... I just feel such a pratt when I shake! I don't let it stop me, though. My family & I have ended up in some funny situations because of our belief in standing firm, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Just imagine the world being even worse than it is ... that's what we'll get if we don't speak out!

I really do apologize for my muddled writing. You make such good points though, & remind me v. much of my Mum.

luzdoh just saw your post about 'tell him to sell one of his cars' well done!

Great post haporth. ?

My Mum taught me I had a 'guid Scots tongue in ma heid' and I should use it to speak up. Actually we all took it to heart in our family and there were so many opinions it was hard for any of us to get a word in edgewise! ?

I was treated very poorly after moving from the south to north of England. Colleagues poked fun at me for my accent. Being quite naive it took me a while to realise what was going on. Also a new senior staff member took a dislike to me and gave me all the rotas no one wanted and belittled me in front of others. Eventually after six years of struggle I was so low that I resigned. This had a knock on effect of lack of confidence and also loss of earnings and pension entitlement. I should have taken some action but couldn’t stand up for myself. I was too low.

GabriellaG, if you state "There will never be parity..." without qualification that there should be and then start talking about the PC brigade muzzling free speech, then you are going to be confronted. There was no petition here. I personally don't agree from removing posts as they often build a picture of the person behind the keyboard.

One of the good things about gn is that we have no idea of the colour of each other's skin, no idea if someone is in the UK or elsewhere, unless we say, and no idea of whether we are of a religion or none or even for that matter whether male or female although I suppose we do sort of assume female unless told otherwise.

haporthrosie you're a girl after my own heart!
Think I was trying to make a general link to the holding back thing and how it can come out in the body (shaking). I hope our OP has taken encouragement from us either way

If only Neville Chamberlain had had the backbone of we GNers!

Wilma, your Mum was quite right - what a marvelous quote! My family sound v. similar ... we usually agreed but we'd argue things through from every imaginable point of view just for the sake of it. Taught me so much. I missed the post about parity - have been hopping round on the internet far too much the last few days, am putting off things I don't want to do! - but it sounds like something I'd have written about had I seen. Glad you used your guid Scots heid & heart.

Thank you for the explanation AmMaz. It has been a tremendous help to know that I'm not alone in shaking! Standing one's ground isn't as simple as it used to be - people seem to really seek out & revel in absurd forms of confrontation nowadays - so I think all the encouragement we can give and get is definitely helpful!

Poor Neville Chamberlain forever blamed for being weak but he bought us time to re-arm. If he'd have dug his heels in we'd have gone to war before we had any chance of being ready and would have been over-run.

Quite right, Vampirequeen. I'm naughty about using Chamberlain metaphorically but you do make a v. good point. Glad you wrote.

vampire you remind me of DS who always had a good argument for his history teacher. He would go into the lesson with his argument and raise it then the teacher would explain the opposite point of view and he told me that by the end of the lesson DS always came back with a reason he was wrong. That teacher really loved teaching him.

Unfortunately on here some people take such viewpoints personally rather than objectively.

You were so right to stand up to him. people our age were brought up on manners and respect and, sadly, this is not so evident in the later generations. I suppose we also have to look at the fact that, depending on this black person's age, he might have been brought up with such negative attitudes towards him, yes because of discrimination, that classing his difference as a form of power is how he hangs on in the living wor but soemone who he believes won't retaliate.