Coroners Inquests

Annie, I think those things get coded under depression/anxiety which is categorised as mental disorder. I think hospitals tend to just stick to these and of course it means they don't really have to provide any explanations. Medical terminology doesn't really help much I'm sorry to say. Sadly mental health services often appear to fail people but I hope you can get to a stage where you can put that part of it out of your mind, and concentrate on your love and happy memories of your daughter

Thank you bmacca. Nothing more I can do for my daughter but we have always told her children she had a mental illness and it was this which at times caused her erratic behaviour

Annie, I think you're right to say that. There is a world of difference between our lived experiences of mental health difficulties and what medical terms may label us with. Wishing you peace

So true bmacca , thank you

I'm as confused as you,Annie , about the current distinction between mental disorder and mental illness. As long as you tell your daughter's children that their Mum was "poorly" or some such local word, hopefully that will explain things for them.
And you're right to refuse an interview with the press, they're sure to get it wrong.
Love to all your family x

Dear Annie, so much distress and hurt for you, I have no words that can ease this for you but my love and continued thoughts and prayers are with youx

annie and nonnie, thinking of you both and wishing you peace. Sending love.

Fennel, I will continue to say mental illness , a woman 5'9" weighing 5 stone in a general hospital having her stomach emptied and her cut wrists stitched !

Suppose filing people under disorder not illness eases their work load

Thank you cornergran and Jamison x x

Thanks for caring. Now we have to tell everyone.

I don't have to tell anyone they can read it in the newspaper , unless I am asked which I very much doubt because we didn't speak of it to anyone

Annie we have friends all over the world so we do need to email them. I've just done on group email because I couldn't face doing individual ones. Ours won't be in any newspaper as it is of no interest to anyone. 'Man dies' is not newsworthy.

I have a very large extended family , sisters, nieces, nephews , and greats , not informing one of them, no need to. It was rather obvious when someone jumps in the river at 5.00 am in November how they died .

I've only just seen this thread and it's brought back some painful memories. 11 years ago I attended my DD's inquest. I was alone as my husband couldn't face it. There was just the coroner and me. When I sat down I saw a paper on his desk with my DD's name on it and underneath it said suicide. So he'd already made his mind up.
He read out some of the reports but not the one from her doctor which stated that she was taking the tablets to get herself through a bad time and that she hadn't intended to kill herself. He had warned her of the consequences of taking too many tablets.
The coroner ignored the doctor's report and wouldn't listen to my opinions. He ruled it was suicide.
I have been bringing up my GS since then and he is a great comfort to me. I have explained to him that his Mum had mental health problems and she didn't want to leave him. (gradually and age appropriately of course). It is difficult.
Sorry if I'm rambling on. I just wanted to say, Anniebach, that I understand what you are going through and you have my deepest sympathy.

I'll be thinking of you Annie and there's no need to stay silent. You talk about her at any time you want.

kathsue, I am sorry this has brought pain to you, it is such pain isn't it? How brave you were to not only attend the inquest but on your own, your grandson will realise what a brave granny he has when he fully understands what the loss of your daughter meant to you, I send love and hugs and much respect to a very brave, loving mother and grandmother x

Wally, how kind, thank you x

kathsue I think that in most cases the Coroner already has an opinion on the cause of death based on whatever reports they have. It looked to me as if, in our case, the Coroner was being sensitive with how much of each report she read out. We were very fortunate in having a volunteer there to explain everything and answer our questions.Doubly fortunate in being first on the list so she had more time with us than she might with subsequent families. We feel that a difficult job was done with sensitivity. That doesn't make it any easier for us to bear though.

Did you not ask for release of the statements prior to the inquest Nonnie?

We did Annie but some time ago and there seem to have been more since then. We didn't know they had asked his boss for one. The bits of it that were read out were so lovely that it would be nice to keep a copy for his DSs when they are older.

I would want to know what was said in the full statements, but understand if you only wanted to hear the best bits

Thank you Annie and Nonnie for your kind words. It does get easier as time passes. My DGS is 16 now and we look after each other and make a good team.
I did get all the statements before the inquest which helped me feel better prepared.

kathsue x

But Annie we are getting copies of everything so I will know what was in all the reports. I fully understand why the Senior Coroner was selective, she had told us we could get all the copies, she was leaving it up to us whether we wanted the whole detail or not rather than putting every last thing in front of us in a public place. I had read on GN that they are usually sensitive and this proved to be the case.

Although it might let off some steam to have someone to be angry with that is not our situation. He is dead, he died, that's it, there is nothing more.

Nonnie, it is good to read you don't have anger , I do but not a case of letting off steam, anger that my appeal to save my daughter was ignored . If you had phoned for help to save your son and you were ignored perhaps you would know anger , I am glad you didn't experience this