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My good lady wife......nooooo!!

(142 Posts)
Katek Tue 13-Feb-18 09:40:37

Can GNetters help me explain to DH why this expression isn’t really acceptable? I either feel like the wife of the golf club captain, or Boycie’s wife Marlene in Only Fools and Horses! He says it’s just me ......I don’t think so. Or am I totally wrong??

rockgran Tue 13-Feb-18 13:55:39

My husband's friend often rings and asks if the boss is in - I say "Speaking..."

MissAdventure Tue 13-Feb-18 14:04:16

I used to hear wives referred to as all sorts when I worked in pubs. 'The Terminator' is one that comes to mind.

Jalima1108 Tue 13-Feb-18 14:04:39

The Rottweiler?

MissAdventure Tue 13-Feb-18 14:08:09

'She who must be obeyed'

pensionpat Tue 13-Feb-18 14:10:09

For a while we would occasionally refer to our elder son as Number 1 son. This was a quote from Charlie Chan, the detective who had 2 sons. And our younger was Number 2 son. Then number 2 son objected to the practice. Oops. No more!

Jalima1108 Tue 13-Feb-18 14:11:03

I referred to DS as my 'son and heir' but the DD took it seriously and were most indignant shock

lemongrove Tue 13-Feb-18 14:54:24

I say ‘number one son’ or ‘number one daughter’ too.?
I think ‘ good lady wife’ is a very old fashioned and patronising expression and I haven’t heard anyone use it in over 50 years.
‘The wife’ is awful too, and you should be introduced as ‘my wife, Kate’ KateK.

Jane10 Tue 13-Feb-18 15:05:39

DH introduces me as 'the management'!
My Dad used to introduce me (when young) as 'my eldest unmarried daughter'! Very victorian.
Both are tongue in cheek.
I'd hate 'my good lady wife'!

PamelaJ1 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:14:30

My good lady wife is marginally better than THE WIFE.
My husband referred to me that way once.
Only once.
I was always no.1 daughter, I always thought that was a bit Chinese.

GracesGranMK2 Tue 13-Feb-18 18:48:25

"My" implies ownership and I imagine you have made your own mind up to stay with him. "Good" implies judgement and it is simply rude and he does not have the right to judge you. Women was at one time deemed disrespectful now "lady" is. He can either stay in the dark ages or respect your place in society. It could also be a very bourgeois attempt to push himself up the class ladder. "Wife is what you are but it is not all of what you are.

I am sure he is a very nice man but you are a grown-up, hopefully feisty women, who does not need to be defined by your relationship to him and his approval of you. On the other hand it may be too late to stop him so you have to weigh it up with his other foibles - good and irritating.

Menopaws Tue 13-Feb-18 19:00:57

My dear dad always referred to my mum as his first wife, which she was for 67 years and always got a clip round the ear but a tradition harmless I suppose
The

kittylester Tue 13-Feb-18 19:47:10

It's grounds for divorce!

As is 'the wife' and 'hubby'.

I'm a good wife - taken as read by anyone who values their life!

'Lady' in your dreams!

Breda Tue 13-Feb-18 20:16:58

My husband refers to me as his current wife - we’ve been married for almost 45 years!

Breda Tue 13-Feb-18 20:19:21

He also has our adult children listed on his mobile as number 1 son, number 1 daughter, etc. He hasn’t listed the grandchildren that way - they are listed by first name!

Day6 Tue 13-Feb-18 20:29:54

I am still not sure what to call my partner of many years. We are both in our 60s so boyfriend and girlfriend just doesn't work and as someone mentioned, I am not fond of partner. He is certainly not "my other half" as I am a whole person with or without him.

I have heard someone introduced as 'my good lady wife' but it was highly ironic and intended to be amusing. They nudged each other and laughed. It showed lots of togetherness I thought.

We do the old "I wear the trousers in this house!" routine occasionally. He follows up quickly with "And she tells me which ones to wear" and it's obviously intended as a bit of fun. No one-upmanship or patronage because neither of us would stand for it. I don't mind terms of endearment either, even if they sound a bit out-dated and might not be PC. It's up to individuals I think as to what is acceptable.

phoenix Tue 13-Feb-18 20:41:06

graces, yes "my " could be seen as implying ownership, but I would still rather be introduced as "Phoenix, my wife" rather than "the wife"

The possessive pronoun can have it's place, do you refer to the son, the daughter etc?

lizzypopbottle Tue 13-Feb-18 21:07:49

It's likely to be 'wor lass' here in the North East. Better than 'the missus'.

M0nica Tue 13-Feb-18 23:25:33

Katek I am entirely on your side. Why not refer to him as 'my current husband'

GracesGranMK2 Tue 13-Feb-18 23:30:11

Phoenix I know. I think perhaps I was taking it a little more light-heartedly you did. As far as I can see the things grown men say are often what they would have said as boys but out of an older body. I expect the same is true of women but I don't seem to notice it as much.

Miamax5 Wed 14-Feb-18 07:09:52

My husband (when he was still in the army) used to refer to me as the ‘long haired commander in chief’! ?

NanKate Wed 14-Feb-18 07:25:08

I am old fashioned and happy about it.

I wouldn't mind being called ‘my good lady wife’ one bit. I am pleased if someone holds the door open for me. I like the manners of yesteryear.

I am treated equally in our long marriage, so have no complaints.

I don’t expect anyone to agree with me.

NfkDumpling Wed 14-Feb-18 07:50:03

I used to, and occasionally still do, get the She Who Must be Obeyed, The Wife, Er Indoors and My Good Lady Wife, but it's faded considerably since I started saying He Who Rules the Roost, The Husband, 'Im Behind the Paper, My Perfect Husband and similar.

I just wish he'd stop transferring some idea he's had and we've agreed on to "That job/item YOU wanted doing/to Buy".

inishowen Wed 14-Feb-18 09:36:56

I hear my husband ask his friends "how is the good lady"? I'll have to tell him to stop. I don't like "the wife", but "my wife" is ok.

merlotgran Wed 14-Feb-18 09:42:47

Jeepers! Gracesgran, That was a light hearted post? hmm

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 14-Feb-18 09:48:12

I have to say that I don't mind it at all, maybe 'the good lady wife' sounds a bit 'golf club' or smarmy but there are many worse expressions. Nor do I mind 'my other/better half.'
I object to the 'the wife' or 'the missus' which sounds like the fridge or the house.