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My good lady wife......nooooo!!

(142 Posts)
Katek Tue 13-Feb-18 09:40:37

Can GNetters help me explain to DH why this expression isn’t really acceptable? I either feel like the wife of the golf club captain, or Boycie’s wife Marlene in Only Fools and Horses! He says it’s just me ......I don’t think so. Or am I totally wrong??

gagsy Wed 14-Feb-18 17:04:31

I love the term as it reminds me of my dear father!

NanKate Wed 14-Feb-18 16:59:10

My DH refers to me as ‘A Lady of Leisure’ which suits me fine.

NanKate Wed 14-Feb-18 16:57:02

Welcome Peardrop50 nice to see you on this, hopefully light hearted thread.

rentawitch Wed 14-Feb-18 16:55:24

introduce his as your FIRST husband... assuming he is.

Anmarr Wed 14-Feb-18 15:54:27

Unacceptable! Sounds like you are his chattel.

Brigidsdaughter Wed 14-Feb-18 15:35:49

It's what I'd expect from an 'old duffer'. If he's just started using it , you could say something. If he ways has, perbaps it shows a change in your feelings towards him...

Jalima1108 Wed 14-Feb-18 15:11:35

Many men our age are a bit bewildered when when told they are being patronising when they were only trying to be gentlemanly.
Very true

pollyperkins Wed 14-Feb-18 15:08:17

A lot of men I know (not DH)
use similar expressions in a faintly ironic or amusing way and their wives just laugh. I wouldn't take it too seriously. Many men our age are a bit bewildered when when told they are being patronising when they were only trying to be gentlemanly.

Katek Wed 14-Feb-18 14:56:08

Oh for heaven’s sake.....some people just take things a mite too seriously. No, rewind, some people take things way too seriously.

Held up to ridicule?? Get a grip-a shared, fond giggle about the vagaries of our respective spouses does not constitute ridicule.

It would appear that certain posters do not have enough to occupy themselves if they can become so exercised and overwrought about a piece of light hearted trivia.

sue421 Wed 14-Feb-18 14:33:02

He would have slipped on a bar of soap by now!

Jalima1108 Wed 14-Feb-18 14:24:11

Errr, Aepgirl and radicalnan, I could be wrong, but I think this was a light hearted (dare I say, humorous!!) thread.
kittylester

grin

Jimbow15 Wed 14-Feb-18 14:19:25

To me it sounds like a "wind up" and deliberately disrespectful
I honestly do not know why any women would ever put up with this rubbish .
Where has dignity and real affectionate behaviour gone. I would never ever think of using this line to my wife .
God help good old fashioned manners, respect and dignity in the name of cheap amusement .
Best Wish
Joseph Grennell

kittylester Wed 14-Feb-18 14:03:13

Errr, Aepgirl and radicalnan, I could be wrong, but I think this was a light hearted (dare I say, humorous!!) thread.

palliser65 Wed 14-Feb-18 13:33:25

I'd keep quiet if I were you. If your man is anything like mine he'll do it all the more thinking it's funny.

radicalnan Wed 14-Feb-18 13:15:58

I do feel sorry for some of the husbands I hear about on here, who knew that one phrase would be utilised to hold him up to ridicue and scorn? Remember 'for better or worse' is that's all you have to worry about you are fortunate.

Another poster today has been truly betrayed and is rightly devatated, be off with you trivial person.

Aepgirl Wed 14-Feb-18 13:08:06

Oh for goodness sake. Lighten up and think yourself lucky you have a husband.

mabon1 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:54:51

patronising and sounds insincere

mabon1 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:54:07

patronising and insincere

Peardrop50 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:50:36

Katek, I think it’s jolly nice but if you don’t like it can’t you just say so and suggest that he introduces you in a way that’s acceptable to you.

Peardrop50 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:47:55

Nothing old fashioned about good manners and allowing a gentleman to open a door for me doesn’t make me a delicate flower SionhanSharpe

Peardrop50 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:45:12

Nankate and Kim19 please add me to your club.
I’m a strong, free thinking, independent woman who loves to be treated like a lady.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:33:36

The point here is that Katek objects to a term that I presume, not having been told otherwise, her husband uses as a term of affection. It might of course be a bad habit that has stuck. The trouble is that this phrase gets on Katek's nerves and she objects to it.

She is fully entitled to object and to expect her husband to show her the courtesy of introducing her in some other way.

However, anyone who has been married for any length of time knows full well that it doesn't always work that way.

so Katek if you can't get your DH to respect your point of view here, you are either going to have to teach yourself not to hear this, to you, obnoxious expression, or descend to kindergarten level and call him something he dislikes, or finds patronising.

Coconut Wed 14-Feb-18 12:29:27

When he says it next time, follow it up with “ and this is my current husband” ....

Gilly30 Wed 14-Feb-18 12:27:31

I agree Jalimal, I can't stand hearing men saying "the wife". We never hear women calling their OH "the husband"!

driverann Wed 14-Feb-18 12:27:00

“There is no pleasing some women” My dad used to say to my Mum.