Dummies

You probably should have started with a full disclaimer.
You're only not allowed to like things like common speech, cold shoulder jumpers, and tattoos, I think.

There! I did say I wasn't being patronising. Perhaps I should have also said not judgemental either. My point was that I was curious as to why mums didn't take dummies out of mouths when babies were asleep. I was really referring to tiny babies in buggies, fast asleep with a dummy covering half their face., and as for photos. Didin't mean to step on toes and judge mum's parenting skills. Teach me not to be curious and possibly get back to my knitting!

they all had reins though, and I bought those little backpacks with a rein attached for the DGC.

Grannybags
No child of mine was ever going to have a dummy - that was until I had DC1
She loved hers but never walked around with it
The other DC refused a dummy altogether although one was a thumb sucker for a while.

My Mum had 5 children without using dummies (I sucked my thumb) and passed her prejudice on to me. I swore I would never use one for my children as I thought they looked horrible. I lasted about 10 weeks with my first baby before rushing out to buy one so I could get some sleep! Needless to say second baby had his waiting for him before he was born...!

Oldmeg and Paddyann I have learnt a lot from this thread. Things of which I was completely unaware, coming from an anti dummy family and circle.

I attracted a lot of 'Tut Tutting' when I used reins for my 3yo DD1 and niece, (whom I child minded), clipped to DD2's pram. This was the only way I could safely manage taking all three to the shops, park, playgroup or clinic.

I expect I will still grue at seeing bonnie babies effectively gagged but now recognise this attitude is a PREJUDICE thanks to the information gleaned from this thread. Mea Culpa.

My two both had dummies - don't remember when the eldest gave his up but the youngest used to slip his inside his bottom lip - these were in the days when they were normal sized not the huge things they have now. I'm sure I took them out with them too. I do remember the small dinkies but don't think I used them - even back then (early 70's) we were told not to put juice in them as it was bad for their teeth. I don't remember my GD's having them but my two grandsons both have the cloth comforters (both raggy and smelly so their mum has to sneak them away and wash and dry them quickly!). The little one (2) still has a bottle of milk when he goes to bed but it has some kind of contraption in it that reduces the flow. I didn't have a dummy - were they around in the 50's? I did used to suck my blanket in bed though and also my teddies paw - still have him complete with his raggy hand - don't suck it any more though!

Exactly.It does not matter what it looks like to outsiders.
Much more important is when you see toddlers running free without being attached by reins which seem to be out of fashion these days.

Dummies do look ugly, especially the huge ones they have now, but I agree with Anniebach. It doesn’t matter if the child is happy. They will grow out of it.

Does it matter, if the baby is content

None of mine had dummies but - one sucked a bit of rag and the other her fingers. Those habits were much more difficult to break than a dummy would have been. You can leave a dummy out for the fairies or Father Christmas and away it goes as if by magic. I managed to break the cloth sucking habit by reading a book called Daniel stops sucking his thumb, lent to me by the dentist when the cloth sucker was three.
Let's leave this generation to parent their children without putting our Judgey pants on unnecessarily

Quite agree Paddyann each situation is different. I must admit though I had problems weaning my daughter off her dummy, my sister in law finally did it for me.

Surely it’s personal choice? Ours had a dummy for sleep, gave up naturally before they were 2. Our grandchildren either sucked their thumb or a soft toy. Seemed harder for them to give up. As I said, personal choice.

Exactly Paddyann. I think my post about dummies and SIDS has completely bypassed most on this thread. There are advantages to using them and you have just given us another prime example.

my 12 week premature son had dummies..on the advice of the SCBU it keeps their airways open,try not to be so judgemental about how OTHER people raise their children.It doesn't affect you at all.My son didn't have any issues with either his speech or his teeth even though he was almost three before we managed to take the dummy off him .He has never had a filling even at 30 years old

DS2 had a dummy, but we gave it to a little boy who didn't have one when he was 2.
DD had one just to soothe her off to sleep but never walked round with it in her mouth - she gave it to the fairies' babies when she was 2.

I had one of those, in the 50’s , called a “dormal” I think.
All of my children had a dummy, probably went out with one in their mouths on many occasions. They were happy and content and gave them up when they were ready, about 3 years old, no speech impediment. I used to feel like a failed mother when people commented on them, also when I bottle fed instead of breast feeding.
Mums don’t really need to feel bad about something like a dummy,
On the other hand I sucked my thumb and couldn’t get out of the habit til I was 16 and had to wear a brace as a teenage to try and correct the distortion.
Dummies are a godsend to many babies and toddlers, they can learn to self soothe with one just like a comfort blanket/toy etc helps.

It was quite openly commented on if a child had a dummy beyond their baby years when my daughter was small.
I suppose everyone is a bit more... um... accepting.. nowadays?

My eldest son hd a Dinkie, but it only ever contained water . I used to tuck it in the corner of his cot and if he woke, he would scrabble around, find it, have a little sip, then throw it on the floor. He is a big strong 50 something now, with not a filling in sight. DD used to suck her thumb and twiddle a blanket corner. DS2 had a dummy, but we gave it to a little boy who didn't have one when he was 2.

I'm not usually so judgemental but really cannot stand to see beautiful babies and toddlers with dummies stuck in their mouths. None of my friends who had their babies like me in the early 70s used a dummy, indoors or out and about. Our DMs and MsIL would have been horrified if we had. But more and more nowadays I seem to see babies, beautifully dressed and well cared for, but sporting an enormous brightly coloured dummy like a fashion accessory. I have to fight the desire to unplug them and throw them away.

Lullaby Trust fact sheet Dummies

The Lullaby Trust (which sponsors research into cot death and supports bereaved parents) has found that use of dummy/pacifiers reduce slightly the incidence of cot deaths.

However Cherrytree is right about ‘dinkies’.

I never used dummies for mine but DiL does so I don't say anything.When all the grandchildren are at our house it is useful for the two year old because it means he does not put any small bits of toys in his mouth.However I notice that they haven't used a dummy with the youngest who is a very placid baby.

I have an awful feeling that I let DD have a dummy in her mouth all the time. DS refused to have one but always sucked his thumb, which distorted his teeth for a long time. I was much stricter with the GSs, seeing no reason why they should need dummies while they were playing or going out doing something interesting. They were perfectly happy just having them for sleeping.

Neither my children nor grandchildren ever had dummies . I too often see older children with them stuck in their mouth . They talk with them kind of wobbling about . Maybe just to try and shut them up