How much do you spend on a wedding gift?

My usual rule for not v close relatives, or friends and their children, is £50 if we're invited to the evening party only, £100 if we're invited to the whole shebang.

I would give either £50 or £100, giving £80 seems like you had to put a lot of thought into it which somehow (for me) strikes the wrong note. The idea of £50 plus a small personal gift also sounds good to me.

We lived in Ireland for a while and there giving money to the happy couple is the done thing. I was somewhat gobsmacked when it is almost “expected” to receive upwards from 150 + euros. If its a close member of the family it could be as much as 300 euros. I actually knew a few people that kindly “refused” an invitation because they just couldn’t afford to go. One friend that I had told me that they were going to a family wedding and by the time they paid for 2 night accommodation (night before and the night of the wedding) outfits for the family of 4 and the present the cost of the weekend could have paid for a 2 week holiday abroad.

For me it would depend entirely on who was getting married. Normally I would also do a cross-stitch wedding sampler as a gift.

I can remember getting an invite from a couple I barely knew getting married. I had never met her and him about half a dozen times. They wanted money so I gave a cheque for £50. The only thank you I got was a round robin email saying thank you to everyone. I wasn't very happy.

£80 is too much.
I don't agree with cash instead of presents, especially if the couple have lived together for years.

My friends who got married after living together said they wanted for nothing but please would everyone give something to their favourite charity I LIKE that
Another friend who had a 50 th anniversary party with food and drink said they needed nothing but ‘if wanted’ (I like that) could we give to a roof appeal for their favourite community theatre
Of course it’s practical to give money and I ve no problem with that at all my problem is being ASKED for money it’s all so mercenary

Fifty pounds is handsome. And you good wishes of course.

I agree with most here that £50 is more than enough. Like many others I hate giving money. Especially when you get no thanks as happened at my nephew's wedding. As we had to leave money (in an envelope ) on an overflowing plate with some falling on the floor we weren't even sure they'd got it.

I think it depends on your circumstances, I am usually generous with money because it is not showy like a wrapped gift.
The last few weddings have had a list with John Lewis and I have just been able to take something off the list, no wrapping involved either.

I agree with around the £50 mark, if you are a guest at a decent wedding I feel the cost of your place is probably at least that anyhow in the grand scheme of the wedding, and if you are considered important enough to be part of the whole thing then why not be gracious enough and not worry about how much it costs you.

Until it was mentioned on here on a previous thread, it had never occurred to me to try and repay the hospitality with a wedding gift of a similar cost.
I think weddings are an opportunity to ask family and friends to share in your joy and to spend as much or as little on it as you can afford.
If the more that is spent on showing off is expected to be returned, it is a shame.
I have turned down invitations before now because sometimes it has involved 2 nights in a hotel, plus travel ,plus new outfits and a present on top.
It is far too expensive for us.
My god-daughter expected all this and then invited my D,S and their partners to the evening do, which meant them both travelling 300 miles and a night in a hotel for 4 hours at the reception.
It rather soured the relationship with her mother who was one of my friends but I would not change my mind.

Last year a friend of my husbands asked us to their wedding. We didn't want to go but decided to send a gift. We were given a list of activities they were doing on their honeymoon. Each one had a price. We paid £200 for one of their activities, although I can't remember what it was. I didn't agree with the whole concept but it was my husband's friend so it was his decision.

£80 is fine.

No way would I have done that inishowen.
I would have expected your H to give you the same sum to do something you wanted to do.?
( that was tongue in cheek)

I am going to 2 weddings in the near future. One couple have asked for money for their honeymoon, I know that their venue are charging £30 per head for the meal so I'm giving £30 worth of euros. The other couple are saying no present or money but they will have 3 different charity collection boxes at the reception if anyone wants to donate

It depends on how well you know them, how much you can afford and how much you WANT to give.

£80 is a generous amount to give and, placed in a pretty envelope, will be a pleasure for them to open.

These days so many couples have already set up home and don't need a wedding gift list. I am happy to give money so that they can choose a gift for themselves, or save it for a honeymoon, holday, special weeked away etc.

I give nephews and nieces £100 for a wedding gift, and £50 for an engagement.

I would give £50.00

Not relevant to this wedding but when DS and wife got married as, like many couples, they had a house and contents, they said no presents but donations to charity if desired.

Simpler, private and no angst about the amount to give.

I’m one that would prefer to give money rather than duplicate a gift even tho they have wedding lists set up with retailers. I think £80 is a nice amount for them as added with all other money gifts they can purchase whatever they need.

Any amount upto £50 seems ok to me. Gave my niece£25 as she wanted money for a new kitchen which doesn’t seem like a wedding present to me

I prefer to give money as people can get what they want. When my family were invited to a wedding it was a ‘no presents’ do but we gave £100 in John Lewis vouchers and our kids, who have good jobs, gave £50each in JL vouchers. I figured the happy coupl could buy food in Waitrose if they couldn’t think of anything big they needed. Weddings are very, very expensive these days and we were treated to a slap up day.

It's becoming increasingly common for people to ask for money instead of a present, so I suppose we need to like it or lump it. It makes me feel uncomfortable too, and I always feel that the amount I can afford is not enough. Silly, really.

So I have taught myself to sit down and decide what kind of money I would be considering if I had been going to buy a present and use that as my guideline.

I try too to find a card to enclose the money in, or a little box, it makes the gift look better IMO.

When I was invited to a friend’s wedding I gave £50 and travelled from the south to the north of England. They let us stay at their house so we didn’t have to fork out for a hotel as well. I’m getting married this year for the second time and I’ve asked for money to go on Honeymoon with because we have made our home and we didn’t see the point of some expensive gift list. The breakfast cost is £49.95 per head and then the extra bits (music, evening food, drinks, cake, etc) amount to around another £30 per head and this is the cheapest option with our venue. Other venues quoted £60-70 per head. It matters not if and what our guests give, more the fact that they come and join us on our special day. We’ve actually asked guests to dress for comfort rather than class because we want it to be relaxed and enjoyable. We have limited the guests to 40 daytime and additonal 25 evening. The wedding licence for the venue was £780 payable to the local authority. Weddings are not cheap for anyone and the giving of money is standard practice in many countries. Whatever you wish to give someone is entirely up to you and no one will think any less of you if you can only afford a small amount or prefer to give gifts. For us, our guests mean more to us than any gift or money ever can.

I’m afraid I just wouldn’t go to the wedding at all if I had to pay for the privilege