useless lessons from your youth

At the boy’s grammar school I went to (don’t ask!) we learnt to starch and iron linen tea cloths, make all the different sorts of pastry, and for GCE, make a main meal of our choice and make and serve the components of afternoon tea, scones, small cakes and sandwiches which we had to set out on a tray on a beautifully ironed (by me) traycloth.
We also did woodwork and metalwork, where I made a plaited copper bracelet to ward off rheumatism and an enamelled brooch. Never had the equipment to do that since.
Latin has at least been useful in my job.
Most useless thing? Log tables. I could use them, but I never really understood why we would need sine, cosine and tangent and have never used them since.
Only ever picked for a team in lacrosse, which meant that I’ve always used different strategies for setting teams in games lessons to avoid the humiliation I felt.

Cherrytree59 I'm envious! That's (breeds of cows) the kind of thing I would have liked to know!
Being a C of E Primary School, we had to learn the Catechism. We were lined up against the wall and said it one after the other and defaulters were sent to the Headmaster. It was terrifying. We also had to learn several psalms. I liked the Psalms.

putting in tacking stitches that had to be the exact size and had to be done if not the right length!

Oh yes , the memory of learning how to iron a handkerchief properly. Then at 16 I worked in a laundry in the summer holidays, how the older ladies laughed at me and ribbed me relentlessly will remain forever.

Double cookery lesson in the seventies was spent cooking - wait for it - a fruit salad!!!!!

Grannybags and Silverlining 48, like your style. My friend and I detested games on a Friday afternoon; the whole year was involved and no register was ever taken so we used to hide in the toilets and do our homework. We were never found out. We wouldn’t have dared to smoke though, that happened on a Friday evening when my two friends and I used to buy 5 Woodbines and smoke them, taking it in turns to have two.

I thought learning Latin was a waste of time but in fact it helps with meanings of words on quiz shows a great deal.

We also had to make an apron and cap but we did do some useful cooking such as raspberry buns, bread and fish cakes. Frying for the first time was terrifying!

In primary school we had to learn the capitals of countries but of course many countries have changed names and capitals now. We spent hours learning tables and doing mental arithmetic which is still very useful. My GC don’t seem to learn them in the same way as we used to by chanting them.

It took me seven years (ie. all through my secondary education) to make the school apron

At our grammar school in the third year (year 9 nowadays?) we had to make a dress. I was going to my first dance so I made my dress at home over a couple of days, wore it to the dance, unpicked it the next day and continued making it at school over the next term.
I hated maths, couldn’t do algebra or geometry but eventually ended up doing sales and purchase book-keeping

Our Domestic Science teacher hated me and made my life hell for two long, hard years!
It started when we all had to make the obligatory blue gingham aprons. Our homework was to sew the waistband on, by hand.
I used to play Cornet in a marching band, and that weekend was very busy as we were attending two Remembrance services on Sunday and Saturday was rehearsals.
So......I attached the waistband of my apron, but used DM’s sewing machine to do so!
It made, and still makes, perfect sense to me, I wasn’t ever going to make a living from sewing by hand, so as long as the homework was done, I don't think it mattered how!
Mrs W was furious, made me unpick it all and tried to force me to do it again by hand. I refused, she got abusive, DM arrived at school, told Mrs W what she thought of her and I was allowed to re-sew the apron by machine.
However, although we had two DS teachers, I was left with Mrs W for the rest of my 'O’ level course. She made me suffer at some point in every lesson, but in the end I just learned to switch off to her attitude.
I had my revenge though, when I passed with an 'A'! Mrs W was not pleased!
The most useless subject for me was Art, I have absolutely zero ability. I tended to disrupt the class, not deliberately, it was because they all used to lose the plot, giggling helplessly at my feeble attempts. After one term I was allowed to spend Art lessons in the library, and loved it.
Is this why I became a Librarian I wonder?

There was so much useless stuff that it’s hard to choose. But one that sticks with me was how to undress and change into different clothes without exposing any part of ourselves from neck down to knees. I still have to make myself overcome the habit.

Thinking back to some of the uselessness set me thinking about who taught us at school. Mostly the nuns but also a number of ladies with foreign accents who ‘taught’ us needlework, singing, French and other subjects. It took me until middle age to realise that they all had German names and were almost certainly Jewish refugees who were living in the Convent. There was also an old lady who appeared and disappeared and never taught anything and died while I was in 6th form. I left school disliking everything about the fairly harsh regime in the Convent but now see the nuns in a more human light for the harbouring of these ladies. What they thought of the priest during sermons asking us to pray for the ‘misguided’ Jews I can’t imagine.

I suppose it all depends on what you do in later life. Dh tells me that if you want to be an engineer or physical scientiest a knowledge of sin tan and cos are absolutely vital!
I have never regtretted learning the recorder as learning to read music at an early age has been a real help in playing other instruments and singing in choirs.
Latin has been useful as I said when learning other languages and also in understanding unfamiliar words in English.
The thing ive found most useless is games especially hockey. But others may still enjoy it and other games. My ball skills are worse than useless maybe because i avoided games as much as possible pleading periods much too often!

I remember having to dissect a pickled worm in biology lessons. That was a waste of time. Never had to do that since.

we had to patch a sheet. We didn't have one with a hole in it, and for some reason my mother refused to cut a hole in a perfectly good sheet!! I don't know what I did that lesson but it wasn't patching a sheet. This was Grammar school too!!

At Grammer School we didnt have any lessons that were not of use, but I remember that for Maths one year we had the deputy head who had to step in for the usual teacher and it didn't take long for a boy to realise that if anyone mentioned the word 'stars' that was the end of Maths and the start of learning about the heavens. Trouble was we only learned about the Plough and Venus. It seems that they were the only ones that the d.h. knew. This went on for 2 full terms.

I also attended an all girls grammar school. Each year group was divided into two groups - Classical and Modern. The classical group (those with the higher 11 plus results), were deemed able to handle two languages. The modern group had one language and 'domestic science'. My first year was the first time that it was possible to 'take' French and German at the same time, as opposed to French and Latin being the only option. I always wished that I could have had cookery and needlework instead of games. The school had no 'commercial' department ie typing, shorthand etc. I think I would have enjoyed that.

We also had a school flat but only the lower stream girls were allowed to spend a couple days in it while the rest had to learn logarithms, cosines and tangents because of course these would serve us well going forward!! I loved my domestic science classes and sewing classes and have used the skills I learned on a daily basis but never the other stuff ?

One of our 3rd year domestic science duties involved washing the white altar cloths in a horrible steam filled Victorian laundry room. Then they had to be ironed perfectly or the nun in charge of the altar would bring them back. The lay teacher used to role her eyes but no one could answer a nun back. I too learned Latin, which I have always found very useful.

Certainly agree about the Games lessons [out of school I did ballet and ice skating so I was fit] I found that marching purposefully about in full games kits carrying something worked a treat. I was never once asked where I was going!
Domestic Science was also less than useful, we had a Mr Frost and a Mr Mould for the science bits, this involved taking irons to pieces + other domestic stuff. The worst one was an entire Gas cooker! dismantled and put back together again.

Sine, the sign on a public house, perpendicular over hypotenuse.
Tan, the tanning of a poor boy, perpendicular over base.
Cosine, the cost of a black hat, base over hypotenuse.
So very useful, haha, yet I still remember.
Latin is very useful as the basis for so much of our language.
I was asked to give up domestic science when my baked apples exploded in the oven one week, and my dinner plate sized jam tart slid off the plate and crumbled at teacher’s feet the following week.
The thought of biology lessons reminds me of the awful smell of formaldehyde as poor rats were dissected for the benefit of our education.
Did play for the 1st XI in hockey but not lacrosse which I hated. Useless at tennis but excellent at faking a faint in summer heat.
Wasn’t keen on school, burnt my uniform on the last day but have since appreciated the good education and opportunities I was given.

I think we were expected to marry and have lots of children when we left school. Career what was that?
It was mothercraft that I thought was a complete waste of time at 15 learning about bottle feeding and bathing a baby plus how to feed children... oh and don’t forget the hygiene of looking after a baby’s! Needless to say I had a career and didn’t have children for 14 years (29) Waste of time...

Yet another Grammar school girl her, or College Puddens as we were called in Liverpool. We were actually taught to iron traycloths and chair backs. We didn't even own a tray! There was a large house in the school ground were we did Domestic Science. In the kitchen were different types of cookers and we were taught to use each type. Lists of ingredients were a nightmare for my Mum, Bath Olivers were not thick on the ground in my neighbourhood. Having said that I did learn to cook in school and everything was from scratch. My DiL even buys frozen mashed potato.....

^WARNING - this may distress some readers.

Some years later I stood watching my DH doing the "kiss of life" to our baby daughter and feeling absolutely helpless. I did not know what to do. I had a string of O levels but had never been taught life-saving. Nowadays CPR is taught in schools.^

That must have been so scary chocolatepudding. Sending belated hugs.

Anyone remember logarithms? Like slide rules, I don't think they are needed nowadays due to advances in technology.

The exam was to make the top end of a puffed sleeve (anyone remember them?) with gathers. Unfortunately, I made the wrong end, so fail. No history lessons for three years, presumably because they couldn't find a Catholic teacher. My husband was amazed that I never heard of the "nephews" of various popes. Still remember how harsh the nuns were, as it's scarred me for life.

I remember very clearly making the apron and headband for domestic science lessons. It took me forever, we had three sewing machines in our classroom..a hand turned one, a treadle, and an electric one. I used to dread using the electric or treadle ...the electric one ran away with the stitching..the treadle I could not coordinate hand and foot and keeping the material in place as well! So as only one hand turned one it took forever to get to use it as lots of the other girls also preferred that one as well. I did redeem myself with the embroidering of our initials on to the headband and pocket of the apron though and actually enjoyed any hand sewing that we did. The following year we progressed to a " dirdl" skirt to learn how to gather and place a waistband on and never thought I would progress to actually making making a dress which was actually wearable, that took a lot of blood, sweat and tears and so much unpicking but got there in the end.