Desperately unhappy, being bullied at work

ajanela your contract of employment should always reflect your current work conditions any change in working hours or conditions should be mutually agreed and reflected in either a new contract being issued or a letter stating the changes in contract terms and the effective date of application. The contract is very important and must always reflect what you are doing or are expected to to at the current time. Always keep it up to date, read it fully and understand it and keep it and any revision letters relating to it together and safe.

How about formally requesting a proper contract of employment as you don’t appear to have had one. If they have to put their unreasonable demands down on paper it would be so much easier to legally dispute them?
Sending you all good wishes and don’t let the bar stewards get you down!

Can I ask GNs, If you have changed your number of working hours don't you need a new contract of employment? If your employer has changed, again don't you need a new contract of employment with the new employer or some letter giving any changes in your employment conditions?

I did twice reduce my working hours when working for the NHS and did receive a new contract of employment but it didn't say what days I was working. This was an agreement between my fellow workers and manager and as I often use to want to change the days it worked both ways.

You have to be careful that your contract doesn't say 18.5 hours to fit in with the needs of the service when necessarty or similar words.

Does this mean you could not agree to look after a grandchild on a set day of the week? I think that would be very unreasonable.

If you doctors signs you off sick they don't even need to know the reason and doctors have ways of putting generic reasons. They also should not be questioning his judgement. I do remember my doctor asking me if I wanted to him to put stress as the reason because of future repercusions by some employers

Good Luck.

You are entitled to a safe psychological space in your workplace. Insist upon it.

Get all the other advice suggested here.

No one is governed in their personal time by workplace concerns unless specified in their contract or would bring their employers in to disrepute.

Plenty of no win no fee solicitors online, start the ball rolling.

You say there is another part-time worker. Is he/she treated in the same way and have you spoken to them at all? It is good that you have started a grievance procedure.

Is there a policy over sick leave? I don’t see how you could be threatened with dismissal over sickness supported by a doctor’s note.

As Coconut has suggested, keep a diary of what happens and make it clear that you will only attend meetings outside your contracted working hours if you are compensated by time off in lieu or pro rata payment.

This person is a good example of the saying, “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile” and you need to stand up to her. A meeting with you, her and HR should be set up and it is your right to be accompanied by a union representative if you are in a union or a colleague you can trust.

I have witnessed bullying of colleagues in the education sector and one friend was bullied so much that she suffered a stroke. Like you, she let the bullying dominate her thoughts inside and outside the workplace. It is unpleasant for you but it won’t go away so try to be strong and tackle this situation before it gets out of hand.

Oh your story brings back bad memories. I had worked for the same firm for 20years when a change of manager made sky high targets for us to meet and the pressure was ridiculous. I had 6 weeks off with stress and became phobic of even going into the building for return to work meetings. So at 58 I decided to quit. I was not alone as in the following three months three more over 50s also left as they couldn't cope with the stresses this woman was putting on them.
She appeared to be a nice lady and was no doubt under pressure from her bosses to get the figures up, but I often wonder what head office thought about four of their most experienced staff leaving in such a short time.

What?? Clear case of bullying. Take to HR and mention constructive dismissal. You have done nothing wrong. Your agreement with company was open and honest. You are being bullied.

Coconut HR takes no notice of these things because they are essentially management stooges. They were no help to me in a bullying situation.

DD tried to raise a formal grievance at work this week. Emailed HR, who didn't even send her a formal acknowledgement until she resent the email with company wide circulation and even then all they managed was an automatic reply.

That is why G0D needs to look outside her employer to her union, Acas, Citizen's Advice for help and advice.

Am so shocked that in this day and age, this bullying/ageism is still happening. All the excellent avenues of help have already been listed here to advise you, so all I will say is make sure that you “evidence base” everything. Make notes of who was at meetings and heard any verbal bullying/pressure etc Put down dates and times, save any emails etc Am also amazed that HR or anyone Senior is also not taking this unacceptable situation seriously. How long have you been there ? How is your previous work history ? If you have a previous good record with attendance, work appraisals etc that will all give a clear indication as to who is at fault here. Good luck ....

Your boss sounds as though she has a power mentality. I do think, sometimes, female bosses can be awful to their female staff.

Do you have a current contract of employment? You should, and if you do read it carefully to see if you are obliged to attend meetings etc. out of your contracted hours. If there is no mention then the company is in breach of contract.
Does the company have employment policies and procedures? If they do maybe they have a bullying policy if not a grievance policy.
Where possible always ensure your actions comply with these policies (if they are in place). This will ensure you cannot be fobbed off.
Keep a diary of all events and actions, keep a file of evidence.
Ensure colleagues are aware of the bullying and its effect on you.
If you invoke a grievance procedure you should be able to find out why you are receiving this treatment. A HR person should assist.
ACAS is a good resource to use.
If you have developed a good bank of evidence and are forced out of work you may be able to take action under constructive or unfair dismissal. Ensure your rights and responsibilities and then stand firm.
Good luck

Keep all evidence, emails, diaries etc and go to ACAS who will give you free impartial advice and help you sort this out, Unions are often not as strong as we would like

Sorry you're going through all this, GrowingOld. I used to work at ACAS and the advice you've had from others on here is sound. It does seem as if they're trying to make you resign. If so, that would be constructive dismissal. Get all the facts down and seek professional help. ACAS will be happy to advise.

Good Luck, and let us know how you get on.

I agree with the advice others have given. I was in the same position with a bullying boss trying to get rid of me a couple of years before retirement and do understand how awful it is. It totally put me off the idea of going back to work at all.

I think I understand the type of organisation you are working for Op....as I work in a similar one. You say the Union are helping, but what are they doing? They need to help you more.i do not understand why she wants to know what your medical appointments are when you’re not at work...that is NOT in your terms. Please get that sorted out straight away. The organisation takes a dim view of bullying, so that needs to be nipped in the bud immediately and she should be the one who is now given a verbal/written warning. Her job should be on the line. Please go and see the union again when you’re next back in work...you pay them enough. You mention that her manager may also be in with her, so go above them and advise the very Senior Manager what is going on.

Bully - brainless, useless, low life, yob.

Now that is what your new boss is!

As others have said:

Employment contract
HR
ACAS
CAB

Do not succumb or be intimidated by this bully. In the interim you have every right to go to your GP, explain the situation and the stress it is causing you and continue receiving sick notes for as long as needed.

Every boss has someone they are accountable to and she should be accountable.

I would suggest you read this blue Link on Constructive Dismissal this describes exactly what you are being subjected too and your union needs to up the ante.

Lots of good advice already given, GrowingOldDisgracefully. Keep records of everything. If she's sent emails to your work computer, put them on your personal one, just in case they "disappear". Go further up line with your concerns. She is a bully. She has no right whatsoever to insist on you telling her what you do on your days off. Tell her she is being a bully and you won't stand for it and will take it further. ( Easy for me to say, I know, but she is thriving on your fear of her).
Good luck. ?

Thank you all for your advice and support. Helps to know I'm not imagining it!

I fear HR only act for management, and in the back-to-work meeting this week that is how it felt. I was actually asked what I was doing to improve my attendance! I pointed out it was solely due to bullying by the organisation which had caused my stress, and that having my non-working days left alone was sufficient to sort it out. My manager immediately started up AGAIN about a date in Sept she expects me to attend even though it's a non-working day, and I said I'm not going to discuss it again. HR have recorded this as something which will be discussed outside of that meeting, so didn't back me up.

I do have the support of my union, and have lodged a grievance. However I suspect my line manager is having her strings pulled by her manager, and it is that manager who is going to hear my grievance so I'm doubtful of a successful outcome.

Re a contract, all I have is a generic email all staff got when our organisation got taken over by the civil service, and I was full time then. I (and also my part time colleague ), never got an amended contract when we went into semi-retirement, and my manager is saying (probably a lot of BS), that as I was originally employed for 37 hours, then I'm expected to be available at any point over the 37 hour week, even though they would not normally expect me to work any more than my 18.5 hours. However they do put pressure on me and my part time colleague to work extra hours. I have always refused to do that, but unfortunately my colleague is happy to do extra hours and change her days to suit them. So I'm seen as being the awkward, obstreperous old bag who has a 'real' life outside of work which is more important!

My little embryonic business is just buying and selling stuff at auction, so need to keep auction days free - I only do these at the end of the week on my non-working days and do all my posting off of sold stuff to my buyers then, so that's not a conflict of interest with work's business. I think what I've got is a line manager who can't accept she can't always have her own way. I have agreed to change some days to suit her, but she's really in a strop over a couple I can't change, because of pre-arranged family events.

I think her plan is to 'direct ' me to change those 2 days, then sack me when I don't comply.

Oh well, I suppose there's other work, but changing jobs when you're only a couple of years away from full retirement isn't a pleasant prospect.

Anyway, thank you all so much for all your support, I'll keep on fending her off and hope common sense (and maybe a tribunal!) will sort her out.?

GrowingOldDisgracefully, you have all the good advice you need on here already, so I hope you get this bully off your back by one means or another. You are in a dreadful position and have my sympathy, but you do need to be strong and challenge her, using all the channels available.

As has been said by several posters, get everything down in writing. If she makes her unfair demands verbally, send her a polite email asking for written confirmation/clarification. Print it off, take it home. And print off any emails or copy any documents now that may be useful to prove your case later and take them home. I know of people in a very similar situation to yours whose access to their email and their files has been cut off while they were absent because of work related stress. Good luck.

You might also check your household insurance (buildings and contents) as I have discovered I have cover for employment tribunals etc. A colleague used hers to challenge an attempt to make her redundant (using a totally biased and skewed matrix) and her employment lawyer absolutely floored her Headteacher when he pointed out that as my friend was in remission from breast cancer she could not be made redundant as she counted as disabled. This would never have occurred to her.
So if you need to take matters to the point of legal representation you may find you are covered.
Good luck.
My only other advice is to log absolutely everything in writing and discuss this with your union rep and HR.
This sort of appalling bullying cannot and must not be allowed to continue unchallenged.

Do you have a proper Contract of Employment and Job Description?

You say, you put something in writing in relation to the demands being made of you re your non-working days. Presumably, you have kept your memo/letter?

I don't understand why you would have to give evidence of your appointments, e.g at the dentist, on your non-working days. That is ridiculous.

When you say you are thinking of starting a business yourself, does this conflict with the job you are doing at the moment in terms of you being in competition with your current employer?

Get all your papers together and write a concise account of the intimidation and harassment that you have been subjected to (I hope you have kept a record of incidents of bullying and dates, or approximate dates). Then ring ACAS and see if you can have a face-to-face appointment in order to obtain advice.

This is a dreadful situation for you.
Please keep all e-mail and any written correspondence from this woman.
I would also ask her to put any 'out of office hours' requests in writing or as e-mail.

If you are unable to return to work because of this woman's behavior you could go to a tribunal for constructive dismissal.

I wouldn't normal advise MN (mumsnet)
However I have read about 'The bullying behavior' in the work place on the site.

There does seem to be a number of mums who work in HR or have come across this type of behavior and are able to offer practical advice.

Options would be....
To put this thread on MN.
Look at past threads on MN
Or Google mumsnet bullying in the work place.

Good luck

Acas were helpful in one of my jobs where a new manager (backed by the union, I might add) introduced terrible shifts for us to work.
A few minutes call to Acas, and we were informed about what the law is, and we were able to stand our ground.

Go over her head and show her bosses evidence of her appalling behaviour. She should be on her way out, not you.