Being FRIENDS - can you do it?

I was curious, after listening to what they were saying on T.V. Basically, that two women would find it hard to get on if a man moved on.

I was a second wife to a man who had two children and I got on really well with their mother We decided at the start that in the best interests of the children, we HAD to get on! This is what we did and many years later, we all became very much one family.

I guess I was just interested to see how many others felt they could be 'friends' with an ex no matter how much it hurt in the beginning and I have got the answers . TY

My ex, after 10 years, married again to an old friend from uni.
My DGCs acquired an excellent grandma and my old friend came back into my life. She was in no way involved in the divorce and largely thanks to her our family works well!

Whilst my daughter doesn`t want to see or hear anything to do with her ex husband, she and her 2nd husband are great friends with his ex wife and her 2nd husband, something that I find very strange.

I honestly don't think I could ever speak to my ex husband again. We were together for 24 years but now we can pass in the street like 2 strangers, which is terribly sad. I don't know the person he is now, he certainly bears no resemblance to the husband I loved.
Strangely enough, he is getting married again (perhaps 3rd time lucky) and I think she is very nice. We pass pleasantries and whilst I wouldn't want to be friends with her I certainly don't dislike her

My husband and his partner, me and my partner, all get on very well and attend family get togethers with no ill feelings at all. It took a lot of turning the other cheek for a while but it's all good now.

I know someone who commuted to London for work. She got to know another regular on the train. Imagine her surprise when it transpired that her train buddy was also her partner's former wife!

Sometimes marriages break down for no major reason, simply that it wasn't meant to be. Another person I know married her best friend from university. They both knew immediately they'd made a mistake, that they were destined to be friends but not lifelong partners and so they divorced amicably asap.

Paddyann that is a wonderfully magnanimous approach.

A friend of mine some years ago, who - when her husband's ex's second husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness, which caused great distress all round, she took the ex-wife and her new husband into her home which allowed her husband to support his ex; and my friend helped and nursed and more or less carried everyone through what was an extremely difficult time. How's that for generosity of spirit.

I was the first person that my ex's second wife phoned when she discovered that No 3 was on the scene, and no, it wasn't an easy divorce as No 2 was one of our employees when their affair started.
I found her hiding in my house one evening ( they thought I was somewhere else) but I had my spies. Not a pleasant evening especially as we both had to see each other at work the next morning, awkward.
I number the wives because he went on to have 5. Numbers were easier to remember than names.
I will be seeing him in a few weeks at my daughters wedding. I wonder if a potential No 6 will be on his arm
No 2 and I still see each other through my daughter.

My second husbands new love came to me to ask advice how to ‘ manage’ him we had a cup of coffee I bore her no ill will what was done was done We didn’t ever meet again they moved away I saw him at a theatre recently he was with someone different and I believe there were a few in between I didn’t feel anything ( he hadn’t worn well)

I don't see any reason why people couldn't get on, at least.
Unless the ex wife or second wife was involved in underhand behaviour, or was downright spiteful, then its in everyone's interest to be friendly (ish)

My daughter is friends with her ex and his new wife.It was initially for the sake of the children but they soon realised they were much better at friendship than they had been at marriage .When he had a cancer scare it was his ex he called for advice and we all spent my GD's birthday together last month.We loved him like a son and he and my OH had a real bond.We were as devastated as my D was when we discovered he was a serial cheater .At the end of the day though life's too short to hold onto grudges and it was lovely seeing my GD's wee face all lit up like christmas when she had all her parents ,birth and steps and her GP's round the table for dinner .Better to be civilised if possible for everyones sake

I suppose it would depend on how you split up with your ex and how friendly the new partner was.

I gave my ex husband’s new wife a great big hug because it meant I didn’t have to put up with him anymore! X