The 'F' word.

I really dislike all of these words. They sound awful.

As an older, senior female engineer working with a team of male colleagues, there used to be an embarrassed silence and a guilty apology when they swore in front of me. It wasn't personal, just part of their general banter and they never used the 'c' word in my hearing. I found that a rude gesture on my part was enough to break the ice and make them all laugh. They didn't worry about what they said after that and I let it flow over me. I was part of the team. However, I am still shocked by the unnecessarily bad language I hear when out and about. I do swear on occasion but would be mortified if I swore in front of children. I guess it's all about self control.

I know that theoretically they are only words, and there is no real reason to be shocked. I also know that the force of a swear word changes over time. (I can remember when ‘damn’ was printed with asterisks after the initial d.) All the same, we mostly wouldn’t allow our children to use them. My now adult children learnt them when at school, and they do use them, but not in front of me, or in front of the children.

I think it’s the lack of linguistic invention and variety that worries me most. On social media the f word seems to be every second word sometimes. Feeble.

I didn’t hear the ‘four letter words’ at all in my childhood. My parents and friends didn’t use them, and no-one at school did. I simply didn’t know them. I first came across them in Lady Chatterley, where they are used in their literal sense. I was about 20. I wondered what all the fuss was about. My children tell me I led a sheltered life! At least I have a wide vocabulary.

I have used it in the car or to shout at people on television, when strictly alone.
I would never say it to anyone, say it anyone's hearing or allow anyone to say it to me.
This makes me realise I am a hypocrite. (I also thought it was very funny in Four Weddings and a Funeral.)
I am shocked, but not surprised by the Headmaster who thinks it is acceptable.

Having worked in a factory full of men for over 20 years I got used to their profanities although they were respectful and never swore in front of me - they always let me go first (old joke from one of them many years ago). Seriously the f word doesn't bother me and I confess to using it in my head quite a lot when frustrated about something but I hate the c word and find that very offensive. I think it's awful to be out somewhere and hear a parent shouting and swearing at a child or even just telling them they can't have something in a shop.

My DH ran his own building company and I would sometimes visit him on site. When approaching the site I would hear swearing amongst the men working there, as soon as I was on site the swearing stopped. In those times it was rare to hear a woman swear and it was frowned upon and swearing in front of a woman was a no-no. Now we hear some of the worst language from women, of all ages, I can't help but feel that we are poorer for it.

I am not an engineer but I worked mainly in a predominantly male engineering environment. I heard very little bad language, and I do not remember any signs engineers were deliberately censoring themselves. If people did swear I just ignored it.

Everyone who knows me knows not to swear when I'm around or when they are in my home .As far as I know no one has ever complained about it.Its just how it is ,I dont like swearing so it doesn't happen here.I'm sure my C will swear when they're with friends and thats their choice but I hate to hear young people cursing when I'm out and about...I walked behind 3 girls about 12 years old last week and every second word was a swearword...said loudly so everyone could hear.Its not nice or necessary .If they'd been mine they'd have been punished for it in no uncertain terms .

ninathenana I noticed that you said you husbands family swore all the time. You said they were 'true cockneys'. My parents and grandparents were all true cockneys even words like 'bloody' weren't allowed.

I hate it too. My father was a drunken, horrible man who used to use that word (and worse) in the house all the time in front of us children. I have hated it ever since. There's no need for it.

In one of my first posts on GN , I objected to the use of the 'f' word in a reply. I was shot down in flames by one poster. It took me a while to post again. It is not necessary to use that word, or others of a similar ilk. Just shows how limited some people's vocabulary is.

When I was growing up even words such as belly and bum were forbidden in our house. Now, those words are in everyday usage and maybe one day words deemed unacceptable today will also become everyday parlance.

Context is everything, of course. Swear words used directly against someone have far more power than when used as a general descriptive.

I have to say, I don't like the c**t word because it is using a name for a part of a women's body as an insult.

Ahh when I said my grandkids explained it was ‘only a word’ I didn’t mean that they use it i was commenting on some music they were listening to and it was every other word I said the old adage about it being a lack of a good vocabulary and I was told it wasn’t anything bad any more
I never use the C word I find that a nasty sounding word but as someone pointed out we nearly all use rude names about men’s bits

That's true about names for men's bits but men haven't been subjected to the kind of subjugation and misogyny that women historically have.

I was watching one of the Bear Grylls island programmes and a young woman used the c word. I was horrified, I felt she was downgrading women using it. I know I shouldn't have been watching a reality show.

I am not keen on blasphemy either.

My DinL (who is divorcing my DS) has a book on view which my two young GSs can see which is entitled something like 'Mastering the art of not giving a F***'. When the boys ask me what it means I shall refer them to their adulterous mother.

It's a sad old world where I don't feel part of it.

I realise and acknowledge that these words are used in some working environments. It's down to context, I suppose. It's when they are used in general conversation that I find them offensive. They really aren't necessary on these occasions.
If what I've just posted was littered with the f word (or worse) throughout each sentence, it would look and sound to the reader really unpleasant, I imagine. Littered amongst general spoken conversation would be the same, I think. At least to me, it would.

Agree with you Teetime. And yes, if it is Billy Connolly - doesn't bother me at all.

I'm another one that find lots of swear words offensive. I'm okay with an occasional "f" word but lots of swearing is just unpleasant. It does seem more common in the younger generation. I never even heard swear words as a child.
One of my sons swears quite a lot and thinks I am making a fuss about nothing.

I am sure that calling someone who does not accept disgusting language a prude is just a way of trying to blame others for their own shortcomings.

We just turn off programmes where such insulting language is used because it is not necessary. When so much money has been spent in educating people it is clearly laziness and even just a habit. Curiously someone else has indicated that she finds it acceptable in Billy Connolly but I think not and am sure that he could have been quite funny if he tried a bit harder and didn't just rely on language in the childish shock factor range. I honestly wonder what he could have been if he had used his time to educate himself because in some instances he does not come over as unintelligent.
We had a new cleaner recently whose language was profane and absolutely unacceptable. Every time she used a word I did not find acceptable in my home I told her so. She was actually shocked because she had not realised what she was doing and it embarrassed her. She does not swear now and we can enjoy a good chat and have become firm friends. She has learnt some really good words and it seems to have become quite a thing with her to use words which her friends don't understand so that she can explain the meanings to them. I think that is what is called a 'result'!

It's all just words. You get "distressed" about it? I find a lot of things distressing.... war, famine, animal cruelty, violence, child abuse, etc., etc. Let's get things into perspective and stop being so precious.

It does not follow that not liking swearing in general or the F & C words in particular makes a person uncaring about the evils of this world.

It is not being precious it’s being well mannered.

Words can be very insulting indeed. It's not precious to dislike foul language.
I agree there are many things in this world that are distressing. I did not say I found I was distressed by theses words. I did say I don't like them, and that I find their use in many situations unpleasant to hear. I don't think that's being precious at all. It's just my opinion, and, reading these posts, many others dislike their use in everyday conversations too.

I'll add before it's pointed out, that words that can be insulting don't necessarily have to be swear words, either - it can be any words but how they are directed at people that can be insulting.
However, my main point in this thread is that I don't like swear words used in general conversation.

Oh I do like to use the occasional f* word. I find it very satisfying and sometimes shocking to whoever is listening that a nice, middle class, older lady can use it. I don't use it directly to people just usually to describe something that is being difficult. I seldom use c* .