Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Marydollcan you afford Meno’s drinks for a whole year! That would take a mortgage

Since Mary never pays her own bar bills, you are being optimistic Meno that she’ll pay yours!
Still, drinks on the house if you manage to get up that mountain.Can we have our ferret back?

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!?

A great film Mary..... a classic.

Shall I lock up tonight? ?

Ok. So where have you all been since Wednesday? Don't tell me, I know. lemongrove locked you all in the cellar and then went off somewhere leaving you all to drink the place dry. Really lemon you should have checked before you locked up.? Firstly, what are we going to serve in the bar now the cellar has been depleted and secondly what are we going to do about all those drunken layabouts customers in the cellar?

Oops!
I went to Berlin for a naughty mini break with the Captain,
I should have checked who was in the cellar first though.
Right, let’s get these drunks onto bar stools and I will ring the brewery and order more of everything.
Don’t worry about them Doodle they’ll sober up by Sunday morning.

Could someone pay my £600 bail to get me out of the nick? Got into a spot of bother again. I'd offer to "work it off", but it was doing that that got me in here in the first place

Chewy I will be down later to spring you but it will mean using the rent money again. How on earth will we raise that by the end of the month? Ask Soop and the Kitcheners for a party? They may bring food we could sell? -unlike ours-

I thought our 'special' brownies went down rather well last time, maybe give a few out first then people will buy anything, we could clear the backlog of pork scratching s for a start, if the squirrel has left any in the cellar

My latest batch of poteen is getting affected by the sunny weather and it's beginning to ferment, now we all know how that affected Marydoll last time so if you don't want a repeat of that incident, I suggest you get down here and drink it quick.

Had a medical check up the other day, the doctor asked me how many drinks I had in a typical week.Three or four I said, ‘ tell me you mean glasses and not bottles’ he said,
I had to say ‘neither, I meant crates’.

Just off to the cellar to deal with all that fermenting poteen,
Anyone else coming? Bring your own pint glass ?

I'm on my way meno. Quick twirl to get into my Wonderwoman outfit and I will be with you. Oops, got it on back to front no one will notice pint of poteeen please meno and keep them coming ??and I'll have 3 packets of pork scratchings too. Funny flavour, taste a bit like squirrel droppings....oh well not to worry, it will soak up the poteen anyway.?????

Sorry lemon. Didn't see you there. It's a bit dark in the cellar. Cheers not saying bottoms up, haven't forgotten what happened last time I said that. I still haven't recovered ??

Well done ladies, I've remembered to restock the izal bog paper this time so good to go, if you get my drift

No thanks Meno I went last week.?

You haven't tried this batch yet, it has a secret ingredient so beware,!!

Ooooooh!I love secret ingredients! Not ex-lax by any chance?

Damn you're good, just don't tell the others

meno!!!!????. Just as well you got the izal stock in.
Sorry about the noise

It's alright doodle this lot can't hear very well and if you give me thumbs up I will cough loudly!

Where’s Mary and Chewy lately?
They were looking a bit ropey when I last saw them, poor old dears.
Pleased to tell you the bar has been restocked and we have had a delivery of steak pies/ haggis/ black pudding for barsnacks.Charge customers £2 each and they are not, repeat not, for non paying customers ( you know who you are.)?

Btw, the Admiral has offered us his ship’s cat ( yes, a real moggy not a whip) to keep down the squirrels/rats/ ferrets which run amok in the cellar.It’s got a missing ear and no tail and is called Sweetums.
Whaddya think, shall we borrow it?

Is that similar to the policeman with three heads, no arms and one leg? Allo allo allo, you look armless, hop in!

Meno I can tell you are three sheets to the wind already,
How many have you had? I saw you pop up from the cellar.