Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Lemon, do you have a sweater you could put on?
The Admiral is apoplectic at the sight of all that flesh!

I have some sturdy black bin bags here Lemon

lemongrove You are so right. Soop considers herself to be a deep thinker, an artist, a lady who relishes the quiet life. Pastry! I did give it a whirl on one occasion sixty plus years ago. It looked like a jig saw...individual pieces that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stick together. Never did get the hang of it. Thought it best to leave it to the experts. Tell you what...I shall leave a quiche that has been maturing nicely since the Christmas before last. You can cut away the mouldy bits. Waste not, want not. That's my motto.

The boob tube isn't meant to be worn to cover your rear-end. No wonder the mini skirt keeps exposing so much unnecessary flesh. The fishnet stockings would make decent midge nets. I shall send a few (midges) down to the caff. They are randy little blighters.

lemon won't listen soop. Last time she was wearing the boob tube round her ankles at least she's hiked it up to her bum this time. A few more goes and it might end up round her boobs before it goes all the way and ends up being worn as a balaclava ?

Well, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, is my motto!
And damn, do I look good!
Too hot for sweaters, and the Admiral has always admired my figure ( he once said that he had never seen anything like me.)?
Few have.
The kitchen looks sparkly Mary well done you.??
I shall sit here for a bit until I can summon up the energy to
Check up on The Hans, they are cooking up some German delicacies, they say our British sausages aren’t a patch on their large German ones.?We shall see.

Oh, I can recommend German sausages over British ones any day

Nothing like a bit of kochwurst, ask the Hans if they have any spare Lemon

I always thought the German ones were long and thin and the British ones were bigger round the middle. Depends how you like your sausages I suppose. ...... anyone seen the mustard ?

Doodle have you never tried Bratwurst? Long and fat and absolutely delicious.?

loud titters...

Titter ye not!

Never mind the quality,feel the width?

marydoll how long?
I wouldn't want to bite off more than I could chew ?

The Hans enjoyed themselves knocking up ( pardon the expression) their German delicacies and hope you will all enjoy them.
If not, they say they ‘haf vays of making you to like them’
......perhaps they will add some chips!

lemongrove It was rude of me to sashay into your caff and out again without leaving a wee something for your hospitality. I've cobbled together an upside down cake. It's not the prettiest cake on the planet. In fact, it looks disgusting. However, as my granny used to say...it's the thought that counts. I've popped it into the fridge. Given a few days it will coagulate and look half decent.

Was it intentionally an upside cake or did you drop it Soop?

Menopaws I didn't have to drop it. It was a mess in its own right. You know how things are...far too many exciting things going on all at once. One minute I'm cleaning the lavvy, then I'm putting out the rubbish, then I'm swatting the rogue flies that are anxious to have a wee taste of the cake mix. Too much for me to cope with.

? Memo to self...think twice from now on about eating anything soop provides in soop's kitchen. Cleaning the lavvy and putting out the rubbish is ok but flies in the cake mix ugh ?

lemon do we have a crèche in the Argy for when the little Hans come along? ? ?
? hope the mothers aren't too delicate. Those babies are likely to be strapping kids if the Hans' are anything to go by.

Methinks that's wishful thinking so if Hans wants to procreate he'd better check out the trendy club down the road where the young things hang out as I don't think there are many spare eggs in the Argy tbh

It sounds like Soop is really starting to fit in here. Some of her poshness is rubbing off and she is picking up some bad habits. Have you noticed she has started wearing sequins too?

JaneD3 Only on my thong...I personally find sequins a bit OTT. I've dumped left a few buns in the oven. Keep an eye on them. If they taste bit off you can always use them for the Caff's weekly bingo/bun fight.

I think even Mary will hesitate to eat them although if she dips them in her pint of Cointreau they may soften up a bit

Menopaws That's gratitude for you.

Doodle we do have a creche for pets, does that count?
Some of our esteemed customers have some right odd pets, I can tell you.
Jane10 sometimes brings her pussy, Meno has a ginger wig/cat ( actually we are not sure what it is) Chewy appears to have a couple of rats fighting in a sack ( that could just be the way she walks) and Marydoll is a ferret afficionado (uses them as furs around her neck) sort of whiffy couture.Then there is Jason the Alsatian (now the pet of the Admiral) with his performing fleas.