What would you ask a 27 year old boomerang son to pay housekeeping?

I think it is important that AC contribute a realistic amount of money and do chores. It seems ridiculous to have them at home at wait on them as if they were incapable of handling the mower or a paintbrush. It is up to parents to ensure that their children are able to stand on their own two feet!

but a third of earnings probably a lot more than the extra electricity and water he uses living at home. And council tax doesn’t increase when AC come back.
He likes good food and it has to be a realistic enough payment to include some rent as well as his contribution towards utility bills.

Your son sounds a delight, Meno. Seems to me he contributes in ways money can’t buy, but if you feel the need for a contribution, have a chat with him and ask him what he might be able to afford as a token contribution (on top of the debt), and then you can get down to bargaining ?

Otherwise, ditto teetime and janeainsworth.

He decided to live the life while young and free and now is happy to settle down so financially he's a bit back to front
No, that sounds the right way round to do it all to me!

If you do charge him a reasonable amount you could save it for him (or some of it) in a 'secret account' and give it to him if he decides to buy a house or whatever

Yes he is a good kid and supports me emotionally too when I need, but costs are costs and we need his input just out of touch regarding what people charge as my first two flew the nest when young so never really had to address this before, thanks for all comments

I don't like the idea of 'making a profit' from a relative so would sit and calculate together how much extra the person is costing. He may well do own laundry and cooking but that still costs you in money, if not labour, especially if only cooking for himself, means two lots of gas/leccy. Also take into account things like council tax, I had a discount for living alone which I lost. Also factor in toiletries etc as it isn't just food that ups the weekly shop. If it was a loved family member I would not add rent or mortgage into the mix as I would have to pay that regardless. However, I would hope they would take that opportunity to save in readiness for paying own housing at some stage.

each according to his need. If you can afford to subsidise him, then do so. He sounds like a great son and is adding to your quality of life. You will know if the line gets crossed and then you can adjust accordingly. Enjoy your time sharing his life it won't last ... but you'll both have happy memories which bodes well for the future. So I'd say be generous, respect his need to feel he is paying you back beyond that enjoy the fact that you can keep him on his feet in a healthy way.

My SiL lived with us for 7 months. She paid £40pw which included all bills and food. She earns a good wage and did nothing to help around the house. In retrospect I should have charged her 3 or 4 times that amount - she might have moved out quicker too!!

A lot to think about here- unless hes told you what he earns it would be bit rude to ask- you could try ask son what he feels is fair?and then work out any extra costs then go back to him and see if you can reach a figure youre both happy with? And yes he may do his washing but would he put in a full load like you?or do lots of smaller washes which may use as much water,powder,electric each time?yes he may cook for himself but will be using cooker etc all over again when youve used it earlier& could have cooked it all at once,so more fuel again! You must take all this into consideration.(i thought of this fleetingly other day when my 19 yr old- no money except PIP as hes at college)put on the whole heating in house just to dry 2 t-shirts on radiator! Try use some guidance from all our comments and ask for a fair amount to cover bills etc,plus debt.but you must leave him enough to save for his own place or he'l be at home for years!(maybe he could get a savings account for that& show you every 4 mths or so how its building up?-that way hes not tempted to spend it on luxuries?)also i think the council tax can charge more per adult in home so you may want to check that?particularly if you or your husband get any kind of rebate on it?

Rocknroll5me is not being realistic! I understand what their saying but you need to help your son learn the way of adult life without 'skinting' him and you want to do so or you wouldnt be asking us would you.(rose tinted specs i think rocknroll5me is often wearing)lol.Your son is a caring person,and you are too,but if you gave him everything 'for free' then he'd not start to know real cost of life.Im sure you'l still have 'happy memories' wether he pays his way or not.As do most families wether theyre kids are still kids, or young adults- wether they are still at home by then or not.

My daughter got into a bit of debt after she had moved out and came back for 6 months in her early 20s. Neither of us were earning a lot so I charged her £100 for extra gas, electricity and council tax and she was able to pay off her debts and has managed to cope well with her finances since then (she's now mid 30s) Unless you think your adult son is being unreasonable I should not charge him too much.

My son was paying us £60 a week 4yrs ago when he came back after parting from his girlfriend. He decided the amount himself and we were happy with it. Has his own flat now and only stayed for 9 months miss him.

My chum has a lodger and he pays £90.00 per week Monday to Friday.

Those that have said "they wouldn't charge for the pleasure of living with them" is all very well however does not teach the young person anything. It's not as if when they live at home they pay what they would pay in there own place.

Even if you can afford to keep them I don't think it is productive or wise not to charge them.

If your in the position to afford it I would still take lodge, save it for them and give them the lump sum when they are ready to move out or for something life changing

For the record I still have one son at home now in his late 20s. I can't afford to keep him however he pays me nothing like what he would in his own place. He pays about 25% of his income into the home and gets alot in return for that.

That covers his food, share of household bills including electric, gas and so on, basic toiletries, share towards broadband etc and more.

I haven't put the lodge up over the years as he is very good around the house and saves us a fortune. He is a joiner by trade and handy in other areas taught with his apprenticeship.

Though through circumstances he didn't continue that line of work there is very little I have to find a company in to do. The only thing I can remember paying for in a long time was the new cooker to be fitted, wr bought recently. Whilst he could have done it he is not Corgi registered so we weren't going to do that.

Unfortunately recently my husband has passed away. There had been limited done around the house the last few years because of his health.

Our son has taken the mantle up of all the updates and decorating that needs doing from tiling, joinery, painting and miscellaneous. It's saved 1000s and more plus I know I am going to get a good job done

ha ha Nannan2 you are probably right. But I have had time to think and look at it...it is so different if you are not in financial need which I'm not. If I was and could not afford the extra outlay I would calculate the cost and put it to him. If it was affordable, I would charge half of what I would charge a lodger - eg about £250 per month. and let him know he was on 'sons' rate (daughters rate might be even cheaper!)

Yes my daughter said it DOES affect both council tax, and any housing benefits people may be getting if another adult,especially when they work,comes back to live in household.even if they dont get any benefits help it can effect council tax charges or rents if your renting council or housing association.

to be clear I charged last lodger £500 pm.so I meant £250 was half. ...that was excluding food though.

I read this with interest as my son only paid £150!a month sky inc till he moved out might show him this and shock him!! Ha ha but lived having him but he was expensive to keep !!

I don't think it is relevant whether or not you can afford to keep AC. Surely they should pay their way whatever. That is probably why so many young adults are useless with money not even knowing roughly what they have in the bank at any given time nor how much they can safely spend on their social life and still cover their bills.

I think it would be good to charge him a realistic rate for his rent and board - he sounds as though he needs to learn about managing his finances.
If you are reasonably well off yourself, and don’t really need the money, you could put some aside, then when he plans to move out you’ll be able to help him set up home.

When my son boomeranged - several times - I used to ask for the difference in household bills. i.e. the difference in council tax, energy bill, water. So it didn't come to much, but he felt like he was paying his way and I wasn't out of pocket. My family will always be my family, and as long as there's breath in my body, there will always be a roof for them even if one of us would have to sleep on the floor. I was also EXTREMELY glad for his company, so it worked well for everyone.

I would up the amount he pays his debt back and let him clear the debt without paying. board initially. He sounds delightful and is obviously pulling his weight gardening for you and doing his own washing etc. Then reach an agreed amount for him to contribute and if you can afford it, save that money on his behalf for his future.

@ Menopaws

what a about rent?

My son ' boomeranged' back twice.... and both times I took a third of his 'take home' wage for his keep. If we didn't need it ( sometimes did cos not much money coming in)..then I put into our savings account , and when he was back on his feet and looking to move out to his own place we gave him. 'His ' savings to put down as deposit on his flat. He was grateful and surprised, and we were pleased to help him. He's always been in low paid jobs even though he has 3 A Levels... seems not to have much ambition. I'm ok with that as he isn't married and only has himself to think of. We've quite often gifted him small amounts of money hen we know he's been stopped for cash. He NEVER has asked for help! But when he reached 30 he totally refused our help , saying, if he couldn't cope now it was 'down to him' . I felt great pride in him knowing he was and still is a man of character. It means more than money to us.he continues to stick to his word. Helping your kids is the right Hong to do..... but sometimes NOT helping them gets them to take stock of thier lives and cope better.

' right'