Does this damage children

I agree Fennel. It’s so much setting children up to believe in victim hood as a way of life. “It’s not fair for me” doesn’t need to be reinforced. Life can be tough and part of being a good role model, as a parent or teacher, has to be to help children build resilience. Sorry for sounding Po Faced

Iam64-- why are you assuming that your reasonable views are po-faced? And apologising.

Don't these parents look around or watch the news to see what other children in other parts of the world are doing.
That child falling into a depression well I would if I had had such interfering helicopter parents. Its enough to cause any childs depression.

School Sports Day next week - I shall object most vociferously if the DGD do not win every race (even if they don't iyswim)!

I think the parents need to get s life.

Another reason for not allowing videos or photos at sports event is that you are not allowed to take pictures of children without permission from their parents

I believe it should come from the competitors themselves not the parents. The children should be instructed in fairness and how to reach a consensus in the case of disputed winning.

We damage our children more by not teaching them to accept there are injustices in life and teaching them to cope with it. In many cases it’s the parents that have the problem not the children. Parents should bear in mind the ever increasing demands on teachers and staff to address the issues demanded by over zealous parents.

The only reason that it would affect the child is if the stupid parents continually harp on about it.

For crying out loud!! why can't children just enjoy sport without parents et al, interfering. Surely it's the taking part that matters and if your side/team wins then great if not, better luck next time. Life has it's moments as we adults know and surely this is how children learn to cope with "ups and downs" of life, you brush yourself off and try to do better next time. What happened to the old values of growing up, i.e, just get on with the task in hand.

To prevent any disputes then why not a camera, as in professional sporting events, at the finishing line.
A small price to pay to prevent a school sports event from turning into a 'free for all.'

inews.co.uk/news/entertainment/cardiff-school-video-sports-day/

The Head’s letter

As many have said, thats life with its "ups and downs" we all had to learn,and so do generations after us.

In all the years that I taught I refused to subject children to "competition", instead I used "The co-operative Sports and Games book" that encouraged children to co-operate with each other, an essential life skill. I was delighted that my grandsons school had this same ethos. Competition is toxic and we see the results of it in so many walks of life and it causes such negative situations even leading to war at the extreme.

I saw this years ago - it was attributed to Bill Gates, of Microsoft, but I don't know if they are his words. They are salient, nevertheless - especially in the spirit of this thread, Rule 8.

Rule 1 – Life is not fair. Get used to it

Rule 2 – The world will not care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 – You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a company vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 – If you think your teacher is tough – wait until you get a boss.

Rule 5 – Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different phrase for flipping burgers. They called it “opportunity”

Rule 6 – If you mess up – it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

Rule 7 – Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 – Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but LIFE HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished fail grades, and they’ll give you as many attempts as you need to give the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in life.

Rule 9 – Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 – Television is not real life. In real life, people do actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 – be nice to nerds. Chances are, one day you’ll end up working for one.

Why do parents make life so difficult these days. It's a school sports day for God's sake not the Olympics. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose. A child isn't going to go into a depression because he lost the egg and spoon race. I remember a father's race when my daughter was at primary school thirty years ago. Talk about competitive there was nearly a punch up . This was between a doctor and an accountant by the way.

HurdyGurdy Brilliant post and spot on! Living by those rules doesn't seem to have done Bill Gates any harm. One of my mother's pet sayings was life isn't fair and no-ne ever said it would be!

Ha ha -very good Hurdygurdy. I think children are more damaged by pushy parents than by losing a race. And yes, we did film and photograph things in the past but there was no Internet to.post them on -life has changed!

It has to be the parents behaviour here . Surely the staff need to talk about winning and not winning and find ways to encourage the less sporty children. Without making them feel totally incompetent.
Like I was at sports and I am generally poorly coordinated. Can't catch throw, run etc.
I hated games.

Just ridiculous!!

Ref was right

I think its better if they learn while they are young that life is often not fair and humans make mistakes.

HurdyGurdy I’ve seen that before and also seen it on a poster in a high school and it Is a lesson for life.
I stopped refereeing netball matches (in primary school) because of some parents’ behaviour, (both verbal and physical).
In the end I used to warn the children the day before the match that if their parents made a scene, I would not consider them for the team in the next match, because their parents were making the school look bad.
Some parents just couldn’t help themselves though.

I have to disagree with the above poster, competion is not toxic it is healthy.
Football, the Olympic games, all competitions and competitive, you have to have commitment, resilience, a will to win, you also have to be able to take disappointment, and be a good time model to others.
Saying the above I think the head and the ref are right. Children also need to know life is not fair, and not everything will go their way.
My daughter a very high achieving academic child was not good at sports and she did not win at sports day, but she accepted gracefully that other children were better than her in that field. Also, some children who were not academic excelled on sports day, good for them.

My big issue isn't this, but that we must not allow kids to be competitive. Life is a big competition, whether in the workplace, at school, at university - everywhere. I was never in the least athletic and always finished last in every race but had other skills/abilities. I really object to Jacintha/Peregrine/Wayne/Waynetta/Mary or John not being rewarded for a genuine effort. By all means give every child a badge for taking part, but give those who win/placed a bronze, silver or gold one. And parents should butt out.

Anniebach What a brilliant Post! I had no idea things were this bad although the first half of my working life was in teaching and the competition among parents was very obviously growing even then! I really pity the poor teachers!
Naturally I say that the Judge's (ref's) decision at the time is final! This is school sports not the Olympics!
A bit of bad luck and coping with it actually is a good thing for a child. My children went through it in different ways. For example, there was massive favouritism in the senior school music department of my eldest's school. She was never asked to play in a concert or the orchestra. She was a quiet and shy child. One day she came home from school showing surprise, pleasure and revealing that moment of insight into the ways of adults. Why? Her flute teacher, who visited the school, had said quite angrily to her, "I cannot understand Mr X. You are my best pupil. The only one with grade 8. Yet he does not even put you in the orchestra!" I asked my daughter if this revelation made her angry with the Music master. She said no, she wasn't bothered about him because "he just likes those girls who flutter their eyelids at him, you know, and he definitely prefers the blonds." She wasn't angry, she had decided he was not worth bothering about. I was angry I'm afraid to say, because if my daughter had chosen a music career this man could possibly have held her back. But she had learned to take the disappointments and not agonise over them and I was proud of her.