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the "hard" menopause

(92 Posts)
muddynails Tue 19-Jun-18 10:42:13

Hi Petunia, lovely name.
I wasn't allowed HRT (health thing) best friend, 2months younger than me was, she never had any usual meno. probs,
I seemed to have them all, my mother and sister were o.k with their meno. (I'm not a moaner). My friend doesn't have excessive wrinkles hair loss etc. where as I do and feel 90 at 70, she is still chasing about like a 30 year old, lot of other aquaintances the same on HRT, I would take it like a shot.

Mamie Tue 19-Jun-18 10:35:42

I hate media articles and comment that imply that people who need HRT are somehow failing to achieve a smooth menopause.
I also had a terrible menopause when I was told to stop taking HRT. It lasted ten years in all and was absolute hell, despite the fact that I am fit, active and eat well.
It is blindingly obvious that people have different experiences and it is nothing to do with positive attitudes, brisks walks or the latest snake oil. I found childbirth very easy; I don't go around suggesting that people who needed a caesarian simply weren't trying hard enough.

Lupatria Tue 19-Jun-18 10:32:46

I had a 'forced' menopause following a total hysterectomy when I had ovarian cancer at the age of 47. hated the hot flushes so opted for hrt. 23 years later I fully intend staying on hrt for life. I see no reason why I shouldn't protect myself from osteoporosis and anything else and it keeps me feeling and looking younger than I am and thankfully my gp, a lady, agrees with me.

silvercollie Tue 19-Jun-18 10:21:48

I lost a well paid job because of my Menopause. It was over twenty years ago now but the memory lingers on. It was not a good time. Still trying to lose the weight I gained through stupidly going on HRT.

Read all the books - Gemaine Greer had some sensible words on the subject. However my youngest sister was not prepared to have this life changer affecting her lifestyle. Refused the books I offered and sailed on. How did she do that I have often wondered, but she is not a confider. So I will never know.

Gosh when I look back over those troubled times, it's a surprise that folk still speak to me!

moleswife Tue 19-Jun-18 10:20:25

Completely agree with you Dumpling, don't suffer if you don't need to!

DotMH1901 Tue 19-Jun-18 10:11:26

Just gone along with it - had and still get some hot flushes but didn't really have the night sweats some ladies get, thank goodness. I don't like taking medication so never thought about HRT - if your menopause is really dire though it must be a blessing to be able to use HRT rather than just suffer through it.

silverlining48 Tue 19-Jun-18 10:07:40

I was lucky too, no problems really or none that I couldn’t easily manage. I don’t think any of my friends had hrt either so it needn’t necessarily be that bad. Feeling grateful.

Bellasnana Tue 19-Jun-18 09:58:59

Like harrigran I was fortunate in having no obvious symptoms. Periods stopped at 55 and that was that.

Lyndie Tue 19-Jun-18 09:52:40

Petunia. My GP, a man, said the same to me. My gynecologist said I could be on it for ever. My problem is energy levels plummeted. I have been looking at alternatives but I want to go back on HRT and risk any minute side effects.

goose1964 Tue 19-Jun-18 09:49:59

I was advised not to have HRT as my mother had breast cancer whilst on it. I actually had an easy menopause, main symptoms the occasional hot flush and regular very heavy periods, having been irregular all my adult life and they just stopped one month

hildajenniJ Tue 19-Jun-18 09:07:43

I chose not to seek help for my menopausal symptoms, but to ride it out naturally, that is, with no HRT. I have had awful night sweats and brain fog. Fortunately I was never really had tempered, and I worked throughout most of it. I did have to write lists and stick to a rigid time scale but it gradually improved. I'm my normal self again, I still have hot flushes, but nothing like in the early days. I'm thirteen years down the line from my last period.

Iam64 Tue 19-Jun-18 09:01:04

You were lucky harrigran, count your blessings. Petunia, your experience mirrors that of others I know. I was fortunate with menopausal symptoms, mine were confined to awful intermittent heavy periods and the odd hot sweat.

I could manage that, but the other impacts of coming off HRT were dire. I have RA and other auto immune conditions, including Sjogrens Syndrome, which causes dry eyes, dry joints, dry other regions which cause significant irritation and pain. It's grim and being on HRT kept all of that in its place and has been the worse aspect of coming off HRT. Given a choice and more knowledge I'd have taken the risks of HRT any day.

paddyann Tue 19-Jun-18 08:58:28

lucky youharrigran if I hadn't got HRT I'd have got a divorce .Night sweats so bad I had to change sheets in the middle of the night ,crying for nothing,extreme fatigue ,non stop bleeding for weeks on end and much more .Its great that some .like you dont need help but it irritates me beyond belief when some women use their easy menopause to make people like me feel bad and guilty about needing help.
I'm on HRT for life and believe me if any doctor tries to take it off me I'll fight tooth and nail .

harrigran Tue 19-Jun-18 08:52:10

I always assumed that the menopause was just a cessation of menstruation, I mostly ignored it and had no symptoms and no problems.

sodapop Tue 19-Jun-18 08:13:57

It's such a personal thing petunia and depends a lot on the way your GP feels about HRT. My menopause was some years ago now and I took HRT on an intermittent basis.
I suffered badly from hot flushes to the extent that in meetings people would see my neck starting to get red and immediately jump up to open a window.
I'm sure its affected my body temperature regulation as I now suffer badly in the heat.

NfkDumpling Tue 19-Jun-18 08:12:57

None! I’ve had to come off my really low dose oestrogen only HRT a couple of times before ops and I turn into the Wicked Witch of the East. My memory goes, my skin is even worse than normal, I have freezing cold as well as hot sweaty flushes, I’m tired, put on weight, I can’t cope and I turn into a right old bitch.

It’s three weeks since I’ve been back on and I’m starting to feel more normal again and DH no longer cringes when I enter the room. My GP says I can stay on my present dose for ever. It’s now been accepted that it helps prevent dementia and osteoporosis and the cancer threat is lower than previously thought. And my weight is slowly dropping again which is good for the joints. Love my doctor! (And he’s a bloke!)

petunia Tue 19-Jun-18 07:42:00

Have just read that Kristy Wark abandoned HRT and went for a “hard” menopause. It got me thinking about my own experience. Five years of blissful HRT, the soft option maybe, then BANG, straight into a hellish time after my GP, a man, felt that the benefits were outweighed by the disadvantages. I suppose it depends on which side of the consultation you are on! So for me, an ice cold plunge into sleepless nights, hot flushes, overwhelming sweats, mental fog, joint pain, weight gain etc etc etc. Have come through the other side now but oh the sheer physical hell and relentless discomfort that the lack of HRT brought to me

So what sort of menopause do you favour? The “hard” or the soft?