to answer the door or not?

I lean out of an upstairs window and ask "Can I help you?" I never answer the door after dark (about 4pm in the winter) or after 6 in the summer unless I recognise the person.

Noreen3 In my opinion asking "Who is it?" through a closed door tends to indicate that you're a woman on your own, whereas leaning out of an upstairs window just indicates that you're too busy to come downstairs (I hope!!)

Noreen3, I am sorry to hear how you felt yesterday with someone obviously a stranger knocking at your door and not just once. Is there no-one a neighbour perhaps you could have phoned to help you out? Or look out at your front door for you? I would not have attempted to open my door if you do't now who it is. You were right to call out and ask him, if he doesn't reply you just ignore him and get some help from someone quickly. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR IF YOU FEEL UNSAFE. I hope this passes over and all is well.

I don't think I would respond at all if I felt nervous.
Presumably, if it was important, the person would return at a reasonable time, or put a note through the door explaining why they were knocking.

noreen3 -I'd have been anxious if that happened to me at 9.30pm, I wouldn't have answered the door. If it happened again at 10pm and I didn't have anyone living nearby I could phone, I might even phone the police. I know they're overstretched and busy but I can't imagine they'd be cross at getting a call from an older woman in these circumstances.

My father in law had a tape of his German shepherd dogs barking which he somehow connected to a light switch, which came on if anyone walked around his empty home.
Maybe you could find something on the internet, noisy, ferocious dogs howling - that usually gets threats away.

I think you were wise not to answer the door late in the evening. Mind you, with the light evenings, it doesn't seem late. Good advice about shouting from an upstairs window. It does make you wonder though, whether he/they were just seeing if anybody was at home, and up to no good.

I lean out of the downstairs window pretending I’m on my mobile.

It goes like this, I open the window with phone at my ear and speak into it ‘hang on a minute there’s some at the door’
‘Yes, can I help you?’ and take it from there. Unless it’s a genuine person I say ‘sorry, I really need to take this call.’ and close the window again

IMO you were quite right not to open the door.

How well do you know your neighbours? In your place, I would ask mine whether the same thing had ever happened to them, and I would ask whether if it happens again, I could ring them - especially if the neighbour is young, strong and male! But any neighbour might just be better able to see who is at your front door than you are.

For your own peace of mind, have an extra lock fitted to the door, or a good strong bolt, but remember a bolt or a safety chain is only as strong as the screws holding it in place!

You might want to ask the local police if there have been any complaints of a similar occurrence made to them.

If you can see the front door from any window, then the tip about calling out of an upstairs window is great, but it doesn't work in our house.

Brilliant idea Oldmeg.

If you felt worried, you were wise not to open the door. I usually do shout "who is it?" in such circumstances but I must admit that doing so through an upstairs window is a good idea - it depends how the windows in your home are laid out.

Some people have spy holes fitted so they can look through and see who is at the door. I don't know if you can do so with modern UPVc doors but how about having a chain on the door so it just opens a little bit until you remove the chain?

I agree you shouldn't feel obliged to answer the door late at night. I wouldn't.
Even during the day if the doorbell goes and I'm not expecting anyone, I would look out from either upstairs or wherever I can't be seen.
Sometimes it's a delivery for my neighbours who order a lot online. Deliveries seem to come really late.

Have you got a chain on your door - or a spyhole Noreen?

Someone suggested finding a very large pair of men's shoes or slippers and keeping them in the hallway too.

I would call out of the window as well (or just ignore it if I was on my own).

When my mother was widowed if she got stray callers she tended to shout ‘I’ll answer darling ‘ upstairs so they wouldn’t think she was on her own.

My grandmother always kept a man's hat, coat and umbrella on the coat stand visible from the door to indicate (erroneously) that there was a man in the house, she had been widowed in her early 30s.

Why not fit an intercom, either audio only or cctv and audio. That way you can answer the door from the comfort of your living room. Do you know someone, friend or member of your family, who knows and understands these things who could choose and fit it.

Alternatively speak to Age UK or make contact with the crime prevention officers in your local area.

We live in a bungalow so could not lean from an upstairs window.

If I did not know who it was I would put on the chain and open the door a bit. We do not leave the chain on as we have a keysafe for people to enter in an emergency.

I am sorry you had this disturbing experience.

It used to be common for a woman living alone to hang a policeman's hat in the hall ('ang it on an 'ook in the 'all) within view of the opened door.

Alexa (Amazon) has a dog bark
I think it can be timed (useful if you are away from home)
or on command as in your circumstances
Noreen3

thanks for all the advice.I was right not to answer,and I've asked a couple of neighbours,they haven't heard of anyone suspicious hanging about.I know that some months ago there were men pretending to be emergency council repair men,a lady up the street spoke to one without opening her door,they picked the wrong person,as she owns her house.I suppose that's why I was a bit anxious.
I didn't like to ring the police on the night of a big match,they would be busy.
I wish I could look through an upstairs window.I do have an upstairs,but it looks like a bungalow from the front,the bedrooms are in the roof space and the bedroom windows are at the back.It's the only thing I don't like about my house.

It is a scary experience when this happens. I think you can get some device which breaks into your TV programme so you can see who is outside. I am sure you can also get a device which allows you to see who is outside. I would ask at somewhere like Currys or B&Q who sell security stuff. I don't think they are particularly expensive. I am thinking of getting one myself for when alone.

Just looked it up online. Amazon have some. Google devices for doors which allow you to see visitors and a load come up